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What is it the airline staff say in the safety messages before the flight takes off? If you need oxygen, fit the mask over your face first and only then assist your children/others. In other words, you need to save yourself first or you won't be able to help anyone else.
^^^^ very very true.... Everyone seems to think other people are beholden to help them. For example, give your money to the poor but you don't have savings to take care of yourselves when you become unable to work.
Example two... Well deserved and needed downtime. My SIL, a taker, car broke down, my DH volunteered to fix it to save her money. He worked both of his days off on her car, day 2 she called and let him have it for not having it fixed. He was furious but handled it quietly. He said that was it, if she has car trouble she can pay to have it fixed. That was oh about 15 years ago. LOL, guess who broke down this past weekend. Nope, DH isn't going to help her. Ungrateful B, she's on her own now.
We've learned that this side of the family always expects so we've positioned ourselves so they don't ask us. The taking would never end and we need to take care of ourselves first.
We've learned that this side of the family always expects so we've positioned ourselves so they don't ask us. The taking would never end and we need to take care of ourselves first.
There's always at least one in the family. Ours is also a SIL. She owns 2 houses, one in a very expensive neighborhood. When the other house had foundation issues, she asked us for a $10K loan as all of her money was "tied up". My DH told her to get a loan from the bank and he would pay the interest. Never heard from her again. We realized she never intended to pay us back.
Ever since childhood (to the limited extent permitted to me then) I have marched to my own drummer, but that does not mean that I practiced being different for its own sake. There is nothing wrong per se with following some traditional practices, be it with a hair style, style of dress, or other.
Although I don't particularly care what others think, I do care to some extent. For example, I don't go out in public with underarm odor - in that instance I do care even what the checker at the grocery store thinks. Thus I am a conformist with regard to showering and underarm deodorant, and I make no apology for that.
There is no virtue per se in being a non-conformist, although there may be virtue in it in certain situations and contexts. In the 1950's to be a non-smoker was almost to be a non-conformist, and there was certainly virtue in that.
I care what *some* other people think. If someone is a true expert in their field, I'll listen to them. But in general I couldn't care less what the hoi-polloi think, if it's reasonable to consider their opinions to be the product of thought at all.
I'm trying to come up with a consistent approach that does embrace ER's point about smelling clean in public. I respect this too, and I try to be appropriately dressed for business and social events, partly because if I didn't care what the other attendees thought about me, I probably wouldn't attend.
I strive to be considerate and not to offend or stand out in a crowd as a visible non-conformist but that has as much to do with not wishing to make a spectacle of myself as anything else. To that end I keep myself clean, well groomed and dressed appropriately for my age and the occasion. What others may think of me regardless I couldn't care less. I don't wish to embarrass my wife, my children, my friends or myself.
There's always at least one in the family. Ours is also a SIL. She owns 2 houses, one in a very expensive neighborhood. When the other house had foundation issues, she asked us for a $10K loan as all of her money was "tied up". My DH told her to get a loan from the bank and he would pay the interest. Never heard from her again. We realized she never intended to pay us back.
A very good decision for you and your husband.
Yes there are always at least one in the family. My BIL lived with his mother and dad all his life then retired. His mother passed away and father is not doing so well. What does BIL do? He moves 2 1/2 hours away. Guess who's still in town to take FIL to the doctors and other places he needs to go? Us of course, and we never took a dime from them.
It gets worse. When MIL died, FIL got insurance money. The other BIL's kids kept calling and asking him to buy them things. My niece got a car, nephew got a computer, other niece got an iPad. Then FIL calls DH asking for money to pay for the tombstone. That's when he admitted to spending the remaining insurance money on the grandkids. The parents trained the kids their way of thinking.
Every one judges based on their own history. It's all we have to go on. 'I'm cold so I'd better make my child wear a sweater'. This is true whether it's about lifestyle, hairdos, or whatever. If you judge me critically, then you are showing me who you are. Get that, hair nazis? (another thread)
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