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I don't think I would ever marry again if something happened to John unless it was beneficial financially. I've been married to the love of my life for 30 years and anyone else who would come after him would only be second best. It would also be very difficult for me to take my clothes off in front of a stranger and the older I get the more difficult that would be. It's also even more difficult to be physically attracted to older men. There is nothing sexy about old age. The older I get the more set I get in my routine. Change is harder when we get older as well. I wouldn't say that men are "irrelevant" but I would say that it would be more important to have me time if John leaves before I do. I love him with every fiber of my being but he is a lot of work and compromise. Who has the energy to go through all of that again? I think I would rather hire some young boy toy to come once a week if the need should arise and keep other males as friends....without benefits.
After spending seven years in a basically loveless marriage, then 15 years in a horribly abusive relationship (that I was lucky to get out of with my life), I, too, could never see myself being in a relationship ever again.
I've been on my own for the last 25 years, and wouldn't trade that for anything, not even money! No one can buy me.
It's funny, I have three dogs; two female and one male. I always share my dinners with them, and they seem to have an uncanny knowledge of when it's time to make dinner. Last night my male dog kept coming to me every five minutes. I thought he wanted to go out; nope. Checked his water bowl, nope, there was water in the bowl.
Then I realized it was time for me to make dinner! He was urging me to start cooking dinner! Spontaneously, I said to him "geez, will I ever get out from under the thumb of a male?"
Then, of course, I laughed out loud!
Besides, it wouldn't be fair to a man for me to start a relationship. I'm too paranoid. I'd always be wondering what he REALLY wanted from me; I'd be wondering when the first abuse would start. No, I wouldn't make a good mate at all.
I laughed out loud at this one. There may be some truth to this. I have had both male cats and female cats. The females were more independent; the males more needy of my attention. Some of my female human friends actually chose their cats on this basis. That's why I always chose female cats over males to adopt most of the time. While the males were more affectionate, the females were less demanding.
I laughed out loud at this one. There may be some truth to this. I have had both male cats and female cats. The females were more independent; the males more needy of my attention. Some of my female human friends actually chose their cats on this basis. That's why I always chose female cats over males to adopt most of the time. While the males were more affectionate, the females were less demanding.
Ha ha, yes, I prefer female cats. Males seem to have more health issues when they get older. (hmmm)
I'm in my sixties and personally, if I were a widow or divorcee, I wouldn't be interested in a personal relationship with a man..unless maybe it could be strictly friendship, no expectations at all.
Ha ha, yes, I prefer female cats. Males seem to have more health issues when they get older. (hmmm)
I do prefer male dogs over females, though!
Not to dwell on the pet issue but a veterinarian once told me that female cats tend to live a bit longer than males. I don't know about dogs. So it's not just the human female of species who tend to live longer than the male. One can make anything out of that they like.
Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee W.
I'm in my sixties and personally, if I were a widow or divorcee, I wouldn't be interested in a personal relationship with a man..unless maybe it could be strictly friendship, no expectations at all.
Sad.
I am in my 60's, and have known many 60+ women who love a respectful relationship that INCLUDES a vibrant and frequent intimate part. Marriage? Probably not, but then I am not focused on that either. If it happens, great, but it would have to be a special set of circumstances for both me and the woman for that to happen.
But yes, if the intimate part was not part of the relationship, I am not interested. Fortunately, many women feel the same.
It's the whole putting up with the pig to get a little sausage thing.
Kind of prevalent in all age groups 40 and up from what I have seen.
I've only lived with 2 guys - my dad and my brother. They are *good* men. I would NEVER want to live with either of them.
I have lots of married friends and having seen the division of labor heavily skewed towards the wife having to do every damn thing (with some exceptions, of course), it doesn't surprise me that so many people aren't interested in living with/marrying a guy again.
That does not mean men aren't awesome or that they are *irrelevant*. That whole notion is silly. It's just a lot of work that a lot of people aren't interested in.
In fact, many of the women who tell me they'd never marry/live with a man again would LOVE a FWB or LTR in separate domiciles.
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