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Here is a link to a survey from the web site of the North American Menopause Society, which indicates that 84% of respondents have had "greatly" decreased sexual desire since menopause (and 3% of the respondents haven't reached menopause, yet). Completely unscientific, of course, yet so are people's opinions on web forums.
I don't know if the link will copy/paste successfully, but here goes:
Shoot, I've been widowed almost 8 years and took care of my husband during his cancer and then his final illness. I always expected that he would die first because he was older, so it wasn't a huge surprise (although the cancer was). However, even during our marriage I was pretty independent: earned a great salary at a demanding job, traveled for work (and took him along on many trips), bought real estate in my sole name, etc. BUT, I also did most of the cooking; all of the cleaning, laundry, pet care, grocery shopping, and yard work while working full-time. He worked and had hobbies. I'd be hard-pressed to want another husband/partner unless he was truly into sharing responsibilities as well as fun; liked to restore old houses too; and liked to mow grass as much as I love being a "domestic goddess" inside my home. I'm not holding my breath!
This is an example of a made-up fact. The fact is that older women outnumber older men in any given age group. It says nothing about women's attitudes, or your buddy's chance of finding a girlfriend.
Good catch! I was so nauseated by the jump from a fictional "buddy"'s opinion that suddenly became a "fact" for discussion that I missed the "all women are desperate for a man, any man" nonsense.
[quote=stan4;41723894]It's the whole putting up with the pig to get a little sausage thing.
Kind of prevalent in all age groups 40 and up from what I have seen.
I've only lived with 2 guys - my dad and my brother. They are *good* men. I would NEVER want to live with either of them.
I have lots of married friends and having seen the division of labor heavily skewed towards the wife having to do every damn thing (with some exceptions, of course), it doesn't surprise me that so many people aren't interested in living with/marrying a guy again.
That does not mean men aren't awesome or that they are *irrelevant*. That whole notion is silly. It's just a lot of work that a lot of people aren't interested in.
In fact, many of the women who tell me they'd never marry/live with a man again would LOVE a FWB or LTR in separate domiciles.[/quote]
When I got divorced I was 'only' 54 and my thought was that, if I ever got involved again, that would be the way I would want it to be. Without exception every man I broached that with was absolutely against it. If they couldn't "have it all" they wanted none of it. Fine with me then and still is.
I don't think men are "irrelevant" either. I just don't want one.
Just had an episode where it would've been nice to have a guy around the house. My washer decided to 'walk' itself away from the wall...even though I had it set on gentle spin!...and there was NO way I could move the thing. So I had to 'borrow' the guy from next door to come do it for me. Yep, there ARE times I miss having a guy around to help some but when you've got good neighbors who needs one? lol
yourown2feet at #131, that is an organization established to push hormone therapy on women, hoping to spread the use of hormone therapy more widely.
Hormone therapy is not necessary at all....and those in the business of promoting and propagating hormones for profit established this 'society' and organization for the purpose of hormone propaganda and profit.
There are millions of women not taking hormones who like sex and intimacy.
Last edited by matisse12; 10-28-2015 at 03:21 PM..
I don't think I will ever judge half the people on the planet to be irrelevant. I like people and that includes men!
One of my friends says she will never again be a nurse or a purse. Harsh but realistic. I do think older people out there who are still interested in finding a partner need to think hard about their motivation. If you want a wife/husband because you don't want to cook, clean, do yardwork, laundry, or change your own oil, you probably need to think again. Now if you want a partner with whom to celebrate and SHARE the rest of your life, you may well be able to find that!
I did some dating and I can say for sure there are more than a few seniors out there who are looking for unpaid nurses and housekeepers. They aren't that hard to spot. One man I dated never picked up a dish. He had invited me over for dinner and imagine my surprise when I found out he expected me to cook it! Yet his house was always clean. We had only dated a couple of times so I still considered myself to be a guest. I picked up the dishes and put them in the sink. He quite pointedly asked me to do the dishes and clean the kitchen before I left. That was our last date. I'm sure he was trying to work up enough nerve to ask me to do the laundry too!
That does not surprise me at all. Men of our generation where mostly raised by mothers who were raised by mothers who were taught that women were supposed to do these things for men. So many if not most men of our generation were taught that women were supposed to do these things too. It's our job.
The problem is, women of our generation had the Women's Movement back in the 60's and 70's and although some of us may not want to admit it, it gave us the opportunity to realized we were more than that. The trouble is, most men didn't get the message.
So for your date to ask you invite you over for dinner then ask you to cook it and then clean up made perfect sense to him, he thought he was asking you to be "doing what comes naturally" while you probably thought he was being an idiot.
It's a huge disconnect between the male and female consciousness of our generation. Some men got it but I don't think most did. I could see it in the men I met after I divorced my husband who was the epitome of this scenario in my mid thirties and I can see it even more in the men I meet in their 60's on up today.
A close male friend in his early 70's has finally healed (as much as anyone can) from the loss of a beloved wife, and is looking with interest at single ladies in their 60's. In my opinion, he has much to recommend him.
To his surprise, many of them are not interested in dating anybody (not necessarily rejecting him personally), because they (in his words) "find men irrelevant." This is clearly in opposition to the commonly held view that single women in their 60's are anxious to find male partners.
I believe he is looking in his local area, and don't think he has tried online dating, yet.
Why would the women "find men irrelevant"?
Just wondering what you all thought.
irrelevant for what? for their happiness, well being, security? then yes. irrelevant is not the same as disrespect. i am sure these same women have other men in their lives - brothers, sons, friends, grandsons, who are all very relevant because they bring them joy and comfort. if your friend can bring joy and comfort to the women he meets they too will find him very relevant.
If my husband were to die before me, there is no way I would want to marry again or even have any kind of LTR, unless it would just be as friends and to have someone to go to dinner, etc. with -- and, without romance, this person could just as easily be a woman. My reasons are as follows:
First, because no one could be as compatible with me as he is, so every other man would be "second best" and that would not be fair to him.
Second, because after you hit 55 or so, things usually start going wrong health-wise, and I will not want to risk being a nursemaid to some old man. (Of course, with my current husband that would be different because we now have over 30 years of love and life together, so I think and hope that we would willingly care for each other, if it comes to that.)
Third, I am certainly not as physically attractive as I once was, and I would be too self-conscious about that to have sex with anyone new.
Yes, I know I am selfish and self-centered in some ways, but I am also truthful!
Third, I am certainly not as physically attractive as I once was, and I would be too self-conscious about that to have sex with anyone new.
So this is what we have to look forward to? I guess once your past 55 you don't want to have sex any more
Third, I am certainly not as physically attractive as I once was, and I would be too self-conscious about that to have sex with anyone new.
So this is what we have to look forward to? I guess once your past 55 you don't want to have sex any more
Unfortunately, it is not a matter of wanting sex, but of finding someone who wants to have sex with you (and, of course, I am using the general "you").
Of course, I realize that to many people, looks don't matter, but to many people it does. On Page 6 of this thread (Post #58), there is a link to an article that says that very thing.
(Btw, I'm 62 and have a size 6/8 with a clothed body that most women in their 30's would envy. However, undressed . . . well, believe me, that is an entirely different story!)
Just being realistic. I am sure that others, however, have different experiences, but I am just telling you mine. Sad, but true.
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