Do many "Older" women consider Men "Irrelevant"? (family, toys)
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jrkliny, your use of the derisive ridiculing term 'attacked' twice is unfortunate in the context you are using it.
People are just trying to make human connections. No need to be derisive and ridiculing of attempts to make friends or establish human warmth by others.
A close male friend in his early 70's has finally healed (as much as anyone can) from the loss of a beloved wife, and is looking with interest at single ladies in their 60's. In my opinion, he has much to recommend him.
To his surprise, many of them are not interested in dating anybody (not necessarily rejecting him personally), because they (in his words) "find men irrelevant." This is clearly in opposition to the commonly held view that single women in their 60's are anxious to find male partners.
I believe he is looking in his local area, and don't think he has tried online dating, yet.
Why would the women "find men irrelevant"?
Just wondering what you all thought.
Well, true love is a wonderful thing and some senior citizens find it. I know some who are more happy with the senior person they married than they were with the first husband. But if your husband leaves you with adequate income and you have a few close friends to socialize with, why complicate your life with combining two incomes and families. That sounds like a nightmare to me. He needs to find a senior citizen singles group to go places with.
I am very late to this thread and have only read a small number of the posts therein. I thought I would make a couple of comments anyway.
I participate in an OLLI program which is an educational program for retirees. No surprise, the number of women outnumber the men by at least 3:1. There are lots and lots of widows, a high percentage seem to be looking for male companionship. When I joined a couple of years ago I was attacked by forward women. I spent a lot of time near my wife and eventually it was clear I was not available.
Years ago a couple of years after my father was widowed he joined a social group for ballroom dancing. He was all but physically attacked and eventually remarried. I am sure some older women have no interest in sex or in male companionship but that does not seem to be the norm. Whether widowed or divorced, most women and most men in the same situation want someone of the opposite sex to spend their lives with. The women don't have an easy time of it since the life expectancies leave them with bad odds.
My father loved that part of it. He could go into any church, get the schedule for their socials and within days he would be surrounded by potential mates.
My father was physically and emotionally abusive of females. Few of his relationship lasted very long.
He would get in his travel-trailer, move to the next town and at the next church he could be surrounded by hopeful ladies once again.
My father loved that part of it. He could go into any church, get the schedule for their socials and within days he would be surrounded by potential mates.
My father was physically and emotionally abusive of females. Few of his relationship lasted very long.
He would get in his travel-trailer, move to the next town and at the next church he could be surrounded by hopeful ladies once again.
I can believe that. My husband and I belong to the same aquatic center which is a full health club. I do water exercises while he goes to the weight room. By so many single senior citizens requesting it our club has formed a singles group who go to movies, etc. together. They meet once or twice a month. Once I was standing in the water with a few of my friends when one man asked me if I was going to the singles meeting that day. Before I could answer, three women said, "She's married!" He could just about take his pick.
My father loved that part of it. He could go into any church, get the schedule for their socials and within days he would be surrounded by potential mates.
My father was physically and emotionally abusive of females. Few of his relationship lasted very long.
He would get in his travel-trailer, move to the next town and at the next church he could be surrounded by hopeful ladies once again.
Yup.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny
I participate in an OLLI program which is an educational program for retirees. No surprise, the number of women outnumber the men by at least 3:1. There are lots and lots of widows, a high percentage seem to be looking for male companionship. When I joined a couple of years ago I was attacked by forward women. I spent a lot of time near my wife and eventually it was clear I was not available.
Years ago a couple of years after my father was widowed he joined a social group for ballroom dancing. He was all but physically attacked and eventually remarried. I am sure some older women have no interest in sex or in male companionship but that does not seem to be the norm.
Attacked is a pretty good word for it, from what I've heard. My widowed (now deceased) stepmother and lady friends would talk continuously about the aggressive single women they knew - the result of which too many men pretty much devalued women, in general, and treated them badly. Law of supply and demand.
Just heard this week about a financially well-fixed 76 y/o widow whose husband of over fifty years died three months ago - an agonizing death, at home. She's already joined a singles group and has begun 'dating" because she "misses the sex." Call me a prude... this is the most disgusting thing I've heard this year. Hope to heaven most of these overeager women are not like her, but from what I've read on this thread, that's not the case.
jrkliny, your use of the derisive ridiculing term 'attacked' twice is unfortunate in the context you are using it.
People are just trying to make human connections. No need to be derisive and ridiculing of attempts to make friends or establish human warmth by others.
Unfortunately "attacked" fits. I understand people trying to "make human connections." I have also seen a much, much more desperate attempts. It now seems lots of 60, 70 and older women are having photos made to post on social media and dating sites. Others did not care that I was married but were willing to see if I wanted to make a change after 40 years of marriage. In my fathers case, the potential and eventual new wife notified friends and potential rivals that she had staked out my father and was willing to fight for that position.
No, unfortunately, attacked is a mild descriptive of the desperation involved.
Just heard this week about a financially well-fixed 76 y/o widow whose husband of over fifty years died three months ago - an agonizing death, at home. She's already joined a singles group and has begun 'dating" because she "misses the sex." Call me a prude... this is the most disgusting thing I've heard this year. Hope to heaven most of these overeager women are not like her, but from what I've read on this thread, that's not the case.
Just thinking, because this does look really bad.......but how long did the lady take care of her husband? Caregivers give so much of their lives, I don't think we should judge how they act. My ex's wife has taken care of her husband for so long and with so much patience. She is a little younger than he is. He is now in a nursing home; she did everything for him. He was so lucky to have met her. He started to get abusive, because of his Alzheimers. It is sad; because they were so happy, until this horrible disease hit them.
I'm just saying, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I think this 76 y/o widow, deserves some happiness and I would bet her husband would wish her some joy. Not disgusting.....maybe not classy; but again, caregivers give their lives for their loved ones.......not an easy life at all.
A not at all uncommon examples from this morning's browsing.
"68 year old man | Naples, FL, United States | Seeking women 42-54 in United States "
"71 year old man | Naples, FL, United States | Seeking women 51-60 within 50 miles"
I would like committed companionship in the form of any gender. I'm not interested in sex. So while I don't find men irrelevant I think for most men sex is a huge component of any relationship. Ergo men find ME irrelevant.
I would like committed companionship in the form of any gender. I'm not interested in sex. So while I don't find men irrelevant I think for most men sex is a huge component of any relationship. Ergo men find ME irrelevant.
Wow, you bring up an excellent point - maybe it's not that women find MEN "irrelevant." Maybe it's just that they'd rather not sleep with them, and therefore the men find the women "irrelevant."
Food for thought.
There's a lot more to relationships than just sex.
I can hear it now.
Men: "I want sex. And I want someone to cook for me. And I want someone to take care of me when I'm sick."
Women: "I want a friend to hang out with."
No wonder there's a disconnect.
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