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That very issue came up yesterday. DH, for some reason, seems to feel that I absolutely LOVE to wash his vehicle. I told him I no more LOVE to do that than I LOVE to wash dishes and do laundry. I do them, BECAUSE they need to be done.
I have always been house trained........ in fact I do a lot of household chores, and always have. My current status is gardener, dish washer, washing machine runner, and hanger out of said washing, hoover man, and bed maker.
There are a few duties I do not do.......... cooking, ironing, food shopping, and toilet cleaning........ oh, and dusting..... what a waste of time that is!!..........
I asked my wife if I am 'irrelevant'. She said "of course not...... you're a little treasure, isn't he mum?" Her 90 year old mother, who doesn't move from her comfy chair from dawn till dusk, nodded in agreement. "Don't know what we'd do without him Judy........."
Last edited by English Dave; 11-02-2015 at 09:57 AM..
That very issue came up yesterday. DH, for some reason, seems to feel that I absolutely LOVE to wash his vehicle. I told him I no more LOVE to do that than I LOVE to wash dishes and do laundry. I do them, BECAUSE they need to be done.
LOL, and I'll bet he thinks you sing and dance when cleaning the toilet too. Anyway, I solved this problem, he doesn't like cleaning, I don't like cleaning but we both love a clean house. If the heavier cleaning was forced on either of us neither of us would be happy so we hired a house keeping company to come in twice a month, we both keep it straighten in between. It's two woman that own the business. We've been doing this for about 10 years now and I love it. We also don't buy knicknacky stuff, minimalist, so it's can be considered a wash financially, kind of. But it's worth it since we are BOTH much happier, maybe for different reasons but yes BOTH happier.
LOL, and I'll bet he thinks you sing and dance when cleaning the toilet too. Anyway, I solved this problem, he doesn't like cleaning, I don't like cleaning but we both love a clean house. If the heavier cleaning was forced on either of us neither of us would be happy so we hired a house keeping company to come in twice a month, we both keep it straighten in between. It's two woman that own the business. We've been doing this for about 10 years now and I love it. We also don't buy knicknacky stuff, minimalist, so it's can be considered a wash financially, kind of. But it's worth it since we are BOTH much happier, maybe for different reasons but yes BOTH happier.
He's a gem too
I don't "Do" knick knack stuff. Heck...I haven't even decorated the place yet. Drives MIL crazy. She has finally stopped asking me about it...I think.
We have the basic minimum for living. A master bedroom (that add-on used to be a meeting hall for the owner/preacher who owned the property), a kitchen, and bath....which I keep all clean. The main house, is a mess hodge podge mish mash of re-muddle. Ceiling too low, etc....The only way to fix it...is to demolish it. So we don't. We just walk through it to get to the necessary rooms.
Oh..and MIL is one to pass on her stuff to her son. I need to do a yard sale...bad. We have duplicates of everything!!
Most older women have already buried one man and have no interest in become a live-in nurse and housekeeper for another. Companionship is one thing, living together is something entirely different.
BINGO. For many women of my age or somewhat older, widowhood is very liberating because for the first time in their lives, they don't have to answer to their fathers or their husbands. They don't want to give that freedom up. They like keeping their freedom and space.
After reading over 500 posts, I wonder whether the responses had provided the answers to the OP's quetions : "Do many "Older" women consider Men "Irrelevant"?. I looked up the dictionary definition of "irrelevant" and bolded the synonyms which I think the OP's friend meant.
Quote:
ir·rel·e·vant
not connected with or relevant to something.
synonyms: beside the point, immaterial, not pertinent, not germane, off the subject, unconnected, unrelated, peripheral, extraneous, inapposite, inapplicable; unimportant, inconsequential, insignificant, trivial; ...
Most of the women's responses seemed to fall into 2 groups:
1. At this stage in their life and based on own past bad experience, they consider men irrelevant (peripheral, extraneous, unimportant, inconsequential): "I am doing just fine or much better without a man in my life", "Why would I want to be a man's maid, cook, nurse, banker, sex object etc. again?".
2. They already have a great man in their life, and think that he is irreplaceable so of course all other men are irrelevant.
Somehow, I think the interpretation of the OP's friend quest for women who find him relevant had reduced to meaning he was looking for someone to be his sexual partner, his cook, his nurse with a purse, his maid etc. All or some of these 'roles' may be true but I think he was also looking for companionship, friendship, someone to love, to care about him and most importantly someone who is willing and wanting to make him feel needed and loved like his deceased wife.
I truly believe that if he had a good loving marriage and was looking for another life partner instead of just someone to hop in the sack with, or someone to resume the household duties performed by his deceased wife, he will find a special woman who think that he is relevant. I think the saying "you get what you pay for" also applies to relationships.
For me, I think all people in life are relevant, men or women. I have a good marriage and a wonderful husband, but I also have many friends. I find wonderful and unique qualities in both sexes. My experience with my families and friends is that you receive what you give and sometimes more than what you give.
After reading over 500 posts, I wonder whether the responses had provided the answers to the OP's quetions : "Do many "Older" women consider Men "Irrelevant"?. I looked up the dictionary definition of "irrelevant" and bolded the synonyms which I think the OP's friend meant.
Most of the women's responses seemed to fall into 2 groups:
1. At this stage in their life and based on own past bad experience, they consider men irrelevant (peripheral, extraneous, unimportant, inconsequential): "I am doing just fine or much better without a man in my life", "Why would I want to be a man's maid, cook, nurse, banker, sex object etc. again?".
2. They already have a great man in their life and think that he is irreplaceable so of course all other men are irrelevant.
Somehow, I think the interpretation of the OP's friend quest for women who find him relevant had reduced to meaning he was looking for someone to be his sexual partner, his cook, his nurse with a purse, his maid etc. All or some of these 'roles' may be true but I think he was also looking for companionship, friendship, someone to love, to care about him and most importantly someone who is willing and wanting to make him feel needed and loved like his deceased wife.
I truly believe that if he had a good loving marriage and was looking for another life partner instead of just someone to hop in the sack with, or someone to resume the household duties performed by his deceased wife, he will find a special woman who think that he is relevant. I think the saying "you get what you pay for" also applies to relationships.
For me, I think all people in life are relevant, men or women. I have a good marriage and a wonderful husband, but I also have many friends. I find wonderful and unique qualities in both sexes. My experience with my families and friends is that you receive what you give and sometimes more than what you give.
maybe, but why does she have to be a decade or more younger?? Why isn't he interested in someone his age?
maybe, but why does she have to be a decade or more younger?? Why isn't he interested in someone his age?
Clemencia53,
I think you can find the answer in this paragraph of my post. I bolded the relevant statement
Quote:
I truly believe that if he had a good loving marriage and was looking for another life partner instead of just someone to hop in the sack with, or someone to resume the household duties performed by his deceased wife, he will find a special woman who think that he is relevant. I think the saying "you get what you pay for" also applies to relationships.
My guess is that this gentleman might have wanted to get more than what he could offer (since I don't know anything about the size of his wallet or his appearance). This may be the reason these younger and more desirable (to him) women found him irrelevant ;-)
Somehow, I think the interpretation of the OP's friend quest for women who find him relevant had reduced to meaning he was looking for someone to be his sexual partner, his cook, his nurse with a purse, his maid etc.
The reason it's been reduced to that level is because many woman were reduced to the cook, nurse, maid after getting married and they don't want a repeat. For woman in their 60's or 70's it's rare to find otherwise.
I'm 55 and I've observed woman from the previous generation, but I lived in the era where woman went to work, then came home and did it all, where men had one foot stuck in the old ways and one foot in the new ways until we were so exhausted that we couldn't do it no more and then had to slam our spiked high heals down on the foot stuck in the old days.....
I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan. (no we can't)
If you were a man with a working wife and who did everything at home, would you easily give that up?
Last edited by petch751; 11-02-2015 at 03:39 PM..
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