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As a male, I would be acutely embarrassed to be helpless in regard to doing laundry and similar tasks. The entire essence of being male is NOT to be helpless, but to be competent and able. Males who are helpless I view as pathological.
I'm glad a man said this. If a woman said it, she'd be strung up as a misandrist, especially on the Relationships subforum.
Actually, Sporty and Misty, I suspect that you are accurate in your assumption. Perhaps, I should moderate that to "many" women for many personal reasons are no longer interested in an intimate relationship. "Most " would be a step too far for me.
Indeed many posters have corroborated your theory despite Matisse's disagreement with your premise.
I suspect that many women no longer make the effort to keep themselves attractive and interesting to the opposite sex because they do not derive pleasure from it intrinsically. That aspect of their lives has become irrelevant and that is their business and we have each earned the right to pursue our own path.
That's fine. All the more male interest for those of us who are not in that demographic
Or, we do take care of ourselves, but it takes a lot more time now!
Seriously, though, I have an ex-SO who was 10 years younger than I am. He almost seemed to resent my dedication to working out 4 times a week for a good hour, and would be really passive-aggressive and manipulative about it by calling when he knew dang well I was working out. Eventually I just turned the ringer off and called him back after I was all done with showering, etc.
You'd think a man would want a woman who enjoys being fit, but not him. He eventually married someone two years younger than he is, and in her mid-30s she already looked like she had given up. My guess is she'll be clinically obese by her mid-40s--and then he will complain that she "let herself go," and/or cheat on her.
Or, we do take care of ourselves, but it takes a lot more time now!
Seriously, though, I have an ex-SO who was 10 years younger than I am. He almost seemed to resent my dedication to working out 4 times a week for a good hour, and would be really passive-aggressive and manipulative about it by calling when he knew dang well I was working out. Eventually I just turned the ringer off and called him back after I was all done with showering, etc.
You'd think a man would want a woman who enjoys being fit, but not him. He eventually married someone two years younger than he is, and in her mid-30s she already looked like she had given up. My guess is she'll be clinically obese by her mid-40s--and then he will complain that she "let herself go," and/or cheat on her.
You are so correct. It is more of an effort to haul ourselves to the gym and be mindful of diet and maybe indulge in other forms of enhancement.
Personally I feel good when i look good and presumably others do not seek that affirmation.
It is work but I like the pay off and so does my SO.
As a male, I would be acutely embarrassed to be helpless in regard to doing laundry and similar tasks. The entire essence of being male is NOT to be helpless, but to be competent and able. Males who are helpless I view as pathological.
If ED is "out there" and OK to mention, it should also be OK to mention vaginal tissue atrophy and the resulting loss of female libido.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228
Keep in mind that for us more mature women, many men our age have problems with E.D. Nothing is a bigger turn off for me than being with a man for the first time who can't get it up, keep it up or who climaxes in 10 seconds. (I'm not kidding the last guy I dated did just that). While I feel no need for intimacy right now that could change with the right guy.
If ED is "out there" and OK to mention, it should also be OK to mention vaginal tissue atrophy and the resulting loss of female libido.
Over 800 posts and the OP is still here with it, that is remarkable.
When my Dw and I were both about 27, she had a back injury that ruptured two discs and caused some nerve damage. Soon afterward she started 'peri-menopause' and went right into that tissue atrophy, etc. At the time our doctors had no clue. She spent 5 years on muscle relaxers, before getting into physical therapy to strengthen her back / spine support muscles. They refused to diagnose the menopause because she was far too young and it never really got addressed until she reached 55.
That tissue atrophy, loss of estrogen, etc, can be a nightmare.
If ED is "out there" and OK to mention, it should also be OK to mention vaginal tissue atrophy and the resulting loss of female libido.
Thanks. I was trying to think how to respond.
Not to be graphic, but more than one lady friend of mine has said an erection is not that important when it comes to good, hot, turn me on, get me off, lovemaking.
This is a generalization of course but there aren't too many men out there in their 60's and older who know how to take care of a house or want to even if they could.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah
This. It's why many older men naturally assume every women they hook up with will do these things for them.
I think some of it is definitional.
For me, "taking care of a house" goes far beyond cleaning, laundry & cooking. For me, "taking care of a house" means knowing when, why and how to change the sacrificial anode in a water heater. It means knowing how to replace a garbage disposal. It means knowing when, why & how to clean the rain gutters, seal the driveway, add friction enhancers to walkways, test the irrigation system for leaks, maintain an RO system and a water softener, how to rebuild a carburetor on a snow blower, how to lay tile, how to change a sink, and how to service a swimming pool.
For me, "taking care of a house" goes far beyond cleaning, laundry & cooking. For me, "taking care of a house" means knowing when, why and how to change the sacrificial anode in a water heater. It means knowing how to replace a garbage disposal. It means knowing when, why & how to clean the rain gutters, seal the driveway, add friction enhancers to walkways, test the irrigation system for leaks, maintain an RO system and a water softener, how to rebuild a carburetor on a snow blower, how to lay tile, how to change a sink, and how to service a swimming pool.
Yes and I know women who own homes who are on their own and know how to do these things as well. This knowledge is no more gender specific than housework.
Let's just say these things you bring up apply only to "taking care of a house," not a home because not everyone lives in a house. Some people live in apartments so the type of "taking care of" isn't always in play. Older people especially often sell the house and live in condos or some other type of apartment style homes to avoid this kind of work. Some people have never lived in a house.
The discussion here is shared work and how some people feel there is a gender bias as to how it is distributed.
For me, "taking care of a house" goes far beyond cleaning, laundry & cooking. For me, "taking care of a house" means knowing when, why and how to change the sacrificial anode in a water heater. It means knowing how to replace a garbage disposal. It means knowing when, why & how to clean the rain gutters, seal the driveway, add friction enhancers to walkways, test the irrigation system for leaks, maintain an RO system and a water softener, how to rebuild a carburetor on a snow blower, how to lay tile, how to change a sink, and how to service a swimming pool.
yep - I'm a female and I wonder about the complaints against men for not cooking, cleaning, etc - inside house things. What about outside and other tasks generally known as "man" things? I figure since the "man" things are not a daily thing, they get forgotten - but if we timed everything - I think it would be about even.
I refuse to do yard work unless it is my garden, so I don't mind cooking every now and then. Its a trade off.
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