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Heck, if anything, I'm of the "money is the root of all evil" frame of mind.
As for Bob's comments, yeah. No. The whole "men get better as they get older while women just get old" trope is worn out. Barring a major turn of emotional or physical events that takes a tremendous toll on them, attractive people who take care of themselves generally stay attractive as they age. Health and wellness remaining relatively constant, no 50-year-old is as attractive as their 30-year-old self, woman OR man, but it's not like suddenly a person's face and body suddenly lose symmetry upon hitting some birthday ending in a 0.
That said, one's lifestyle and habits tend to come home to roost in one's 40s, so if you've treated your body like a garbage dump, smoked, and baked in the sun, it's going to show up on your face and body at some point in your 40s. Yet others improve with age, like those who were overweight in their youth who adopt healthier habits, lose weight, and take better care of themselves.
It always amuses me when certain men (usually with brand new screen names, you notice?) get on here and go on about how older men can always get with younger women. Take it from someone who was once 25, sorry, but to most 25-year-old women, a 45-year-old man is just old. I know a lot of young guys in their 20s like to feel that someday, the cosmos will pay them back for all the rejection they face now, and all those women who reject them now will be alone and lonely while they are bathing in nubile nymphomaniacs who can't resist a paunchy old coot, but it just isn't so.
Yea, that whole thing for money is just creepy. Don't the old money guys care that the young hotties are probably cringing with every touch? It's sad that they take advantage of someone doing anything to get out of poverty.
One good thing about growing old together. You see each other every day and there are no surprises as you age.
Reminds me of an episode of Sex and the City. Samantha tried to have a relationship with a 75 yr old guy. One look at his naked butt and she took off.
I continue to be shocked about the emphasis people place on being thin and good looking when discussing relationships. The word is shallow. What a sad society we are if people really believe that the physical effects of aging or someone's weight diminish a persons capacity to be interesting, engaging, caring, compassionate, etc. etc. etc.
And wealthy? ...Because all wealthy men/women are without flaws? NOT! Wealth isn't an indicator of someone's moral character.
Perhaps as people age they don't consider the opposite sex irrelevant as much as they can't imagine trying to build a history with yet another person so late in life and can't imagine how their past history will fit into that new relationship. This could be why some people are content to have a part time relationship as opposed to making a full time commitment.
Yes, "shallow" is the word. There is a lot of good information in this post.
Thin and good looking, well, we woman usually want someone who is in good health. Most of us don't want an overweight man who doesn't take care of his health. Or a drunk.
Money? Old fashioned men tend to still think it's the 1950s when most women didn't work and depended on men for money. Between my divorce and remarriage, I shoved so many men away--men with money--because I wanted a man with character with whom I could easily build a relationship and have some fun in life.
I sure did get a "character"--lol. He's a laugh a minute. And he USUALLY takes on his share of the household responsibility and doesn't leave it to me just because I happen to be a woman. To leave all the work to the woman is childish and selfish. Women have worked all their lives too, you know. Why not SHARE the chores now that both are retired? Make it pleasant for both, not just one.
I have actually had a few old geezers around my age try to impress me with how much money they had. Big deal. Because that's all they had. No personality, no character and not much in the looks department either. Not impressed, maybe I would have been at age 20 but not as a mature, intelligent woman who knows what's important in life.
I'm still laughing at the "men get more desirable as they get old while women get less desirable as they age."
Money? Old fashioned men tend to still think it's the 1950s when most women didn't work and depended on men for money. Between my divorce and remarriage, I shoved so many men away--men with money--because I wanted a man with character with whom I could easily build a relationship and have some fun in life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah
I have actually had a few old geezers around my age try to impress me with how much money they had. Big deal. Because that's all they had. No personality, no character and not much in the looks department either. Not impressed, maybe I would have been at age 20 but not as a mature, intelligent woman who knows what's important in life.
I'm still laughing at the "men get more desirable as they get old while women get less desirable as they age."
I can now die saying I've heard it all.
This goes back to the New World Order in which men have to carve out a new role for themselves. The role of provider isn't a gimme anymore because most women can and do provide for themselves. The only times I see men in the provider role are when they have small children. Then once the youngest is in grade school, the moms start working again if after-school daycare wouldn't negate their entire check. Otherwise, the moms go back to work when the kids are in junior high and old enough to let themselves in, feed themselves, and be trusted to do their chores and so on before one of the parents gets home. I was a latch-key kid at 9, but it tends to start a little be older overall, around 12--about the age when the kid could be a babysitter for someone else's children.
When men go on about how much money they have, I regard it much the same way as I would should a man send me a photo of his junk: Is that all you have to offer a woman? That's the gist and sum of your life and existence? That's what you're all about?
Here's my favorite thing to post in the Relationships forum, and it's so true (with apologies for the NSFW language in the piece):
It's about how important it is to not only have good character, but to actually do something productive with it that makes the world a better place.
A snip:
Quote:
How many of you are walking around right now saying, "She/he would love me if she/he only knew what an interesting person I am!" Really? How do all of your interesting thoughts and ideas manifest themselves in the world? What do they cause you to do? If your dream girl or guy had a hidden camera that followed you around for a month, would they be impressed with what they saw? Remember, they can't read your mind -- they can only observe. Would they want to be a part of that life?
Long story longer, I just can't respect a man who thinks money is everything, makes money a priority in his life and what he seeks in a partner, or insults me with the presumption that I am so stupid and materialistic as the be impressed with his wallet. I'm a writer. Never been wealthy, never will be, and I'm fine with that. Somehow, I've managed to get along for 28 years, my entire adult life after college, without a man supporting me.
I equate a man trying to impress a woman with how much money he has with a woman who has a pretty face and uses only that to attract a man and keep his attention. Two shallow people. They deserve each other.
But looks fade and money can be lost. Then where are they?
Long story longer, I just can't respect a man who thinks money is everything, makes money a priority in his life and what he seeks in a partner, or insults me with the presumption that I am so stupid and materialistic as the be impressed with his wallet. I'm a writer. Never been wealthy, never will be, and I'm fine with that. Somehow, I've managed to get along for 28 years, my entire adult life after college, without a man supporting me.
And yet there is still a stigma that hangs over men who don't make as much money as their partners/wives.
And yet there is still a stigma that hangs over men who don't make as much money as their partners/wives.
I would love to have that. According to Indeed.com and other sites that give average wages, we shouldn't be far apart in earnings but they are significantly different; I make a lot more. So if she takes a few days off, I can just put in a few more hours here and there (we are both hourly paid contract employees) and even it out for the month. If I ever take days off, it usually ends up being flexed (I still work it just as extra time on other days). I don't think I have had but one year under 2000 billable hours in the last 20 years and probably at least 15 were over 2100 with a few over 2200.
Love is a serious matter and has to do with compatibility of dreams and intellect (imo). People who are looking just for financial security or a nurse?
Good luck to them, but emotional compatibility is all that really matters in a relationship. I hope that these days the seeking of money, whether by women or men, is more a mid-century situation than a 21st century situation.
People are never irrelevant, but if they try to attract partners by irrelevant means it's not too likely they will have a happy result, imo.
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