How to get your kids to come home for Christmas (grandparents, celebrate)
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What about parents that don't want to see their kids. I have a sister that is always invited by her daughter to stay over and visit. She always turns her down. I don't understand it. They would come get her and bring her back.
I never quite understood the expectation that the adult children, who are typically working longer hours, busy with families, earlier in career so less vacation time, etc. are expected to constantly visit elderly parents. It seems to be that retired parents who have far more free time should be the ones visiting.
Granted there are extenuating circumstances, being healthy enough to travel and having funds (although if the kids are travelling they need funds too).
I live in the same town as my parents, so it's a non-issue for me. My ex wife, we had to travel to visit her family and they were always harping on us to visit. Practically the first thing that would pop out of their mouths when we visited is when would we be visiting next. Never once visited us in four years though, even when we offered to pay.
As a parent of adult children, I never could understand older parents always expecting their adult children to visit them.
Even though both my husband and I are mildly disabled and traveling is somewhat difficult for us, we still travel the 2,000 to see our adult son, DIL & now a grandchild about as often as they fly to see us.
When they do come to our town they/we always get together with the extended family (aunts/uncles/cousins) plus our son & family sees as many of his high school & college buddies as he can that are still in the area (or visiting their families for the holidays). So, it is not like they only come to see the two of us.
PS. It will be great when/if our son starts to earn enough money to help us pay for our plane tickets (instead of the other way around) because our funds are quite limited.
Last edited by germaine2626; 12-03-2015 at 09:14 AM..
maybe it's a gray hair thing but I find it pretty pathetic most of the kids were notified of his death by text.
Now that's sad.
At least one son rec'd a phone call and one daughter seemingly opened a snail mail (which I found odd). The others you can't tell if it's text, email, voice mail, or a phone call. They could have rec'd a text saying "call me, it's urgent". That's what happened when we last had a death in the family. As soon as I saw the text, my heart dropped because I knew it had to be bad news.
Putting aside that the fictional dad set the whole thing up, I'm wondering how you would handle notifiying far-off relatives.
I firmly believe that people generally go where they feel happy, loved, liked, wanted, and valued. Unfortunately, to many people -- but by no means, all -- the thought of their family brings up mainly bad feelings. Who wants to go some place where they will just feel bad?
If your kids and grandkids don't visit you, I suggest that perhaps you take a good look at yourself and your history with them.
I firmly believe that people generally go where they feel happy, loved, liked, wanted, and valued. Unfortunately, to many people -- but by no means, all -- the thought of their family brings up mainly bad feelings. Who wants to go some place where they will just feel bad?
If your kids and grandkids don't visit you, I suggest that perhaps you take a good look at yourself and your history with them.
You said a mouthful there, but I think this may not be a popular line of thought.
"Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch."
I know someone who literally pays his children and grandchildren to attend holiday dinners. I believe that it started out as a joke but his kids got so excited that he continued. He gives each adult child (he has three) a crisp $100 bill and each grandchild (he has three) I believe a $10 or a $20 bill at the beginning of the meal.
He has done this for several years. Ironically, it seems like the attendance by his children has stayed about the same for most holidays. It actually has decreased for Thanksgiving since two of his children now spend Thanksgiving with their spouse's families.
WHY do you HAVE to have your children come home for Xmas???? Maybe they do not want to especially if they have a family.... Why not try spending a Xmas with just each other.....
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