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Old 12-22-2015, 08:09 AM
 
Location: CT
3,461 posts, read 1,862,020 times
Reputation: 4614

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Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
I have been told that moving closer to your kids in retirement is not good . we are about 10 yrs away from retirement and we are thinking about moving closer to my daughter . I know when we sell this house we will get a good profit and will most likely buy a condo close to shopping and close to my daughter so that she can help us , should we need it and she has already offered as such since she does not plan on leaving where she is at ever . But some folks are telling me that this is a bad idea , they think you should not rely on anyone for help in retirement . Do any of you feel the same way ? my daughter is not married and does not plan on marrying at her age . But she does have two daughters . I do plan on moving close to shopping so that one of us can walk in case we are no longer able to drive . My grandmother used to stress having a plan for the future and 10 yrs will pass before you know it . I'm just wondering if anyone else feels moving close to their kids and grandkids in retirement is a bad idea ?
Do you or your husband have health issues? Just asking since you're 10 years from retirement, assuming 65 or 66 years of age, that's the new 55 or 56 for normal healthy adults. You might be good well through your 70's, so why plan on needing help? If that were the case, you're talking 20- 25 years from now, an awful lot can happen to both you and or your kids and grand kids by then, meaning, they might have to move or they may relocate for a job. We're not planning to live near the kids, they're grown up and on their own, we have a 15 year old grand child, who knows where he'll be in 5 years. We'll be nailed down in our retirement locale and the young uns' can come visit and we'll spend some pretty good quality time together. If we become sick or invalid, we'll do what we have to do and deal with it, if our kids want to help we'll work with them, if not, we'll do what we can.
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Old 12-23-2015, 06:52 AM
 
39,339 posts, read 20,428,595 times
Reputation: 12805
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
close to my daughter so that she can help us , should we need it
Go to the caregiving forum and see how people feel about caregiving. It's not like the old days when woman were stay at home moms and puts a lot of stress on the kids when parents don't plan and have the expectation that the kids will drop everything to help you. You'll get a dose of reality of expecting your kids to be a caregiver in your older years.

Instead use your money to make plans for your own care. You'll be tying your daughter down where she won't have a life of her own and it will have very negative repercussions on her ability to take care of herself in her elder years. It's not that the kids don't want to help but there is much more to it than anyone imagines when they are still healthy.

When making your decision think about her too.
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Old 12-23-2015, 10:58 AM
 
6,353 posts, read 5,088,595 times
Reputation: 12920
Saw this interesting article in the NYTimes today:

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2...smtyp=cur&_r=0

The Typical American Lives Only 18 Miles From Mom
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Old 12-23-2015, 11:39 AM
 
11,953 posts, read 20,430,746 times
Reputation: 19384
Quote:
Originally Posted by petch751 View Post
Go to the caregiving forum and see how people feel about caregiving. It's not like the old days when woman were stay at home moms and puts a lot of stress on the kids when parents don't plan and have the expectation that the kids will drop everything to help you. You'll get a dose of reality of expecting your kids to be a caregiver in your older years.

Instead use your money to make plans for your own care. You'll be tying your daughter down where she won't have a life of her own and it will have very negative repercussions on her ability to take care of herself in her elder years. It's not that the kids don't want to help but there is much more to it than anyone imagines when they are still healthy.

When making your decision think about her too.
But helping isn't necessarily caregiving. My sister gets lots of help from her kids, and she is pretty hale and hearty. Her kids don't want her on high ladders anymore. And other things they do to ensure their mother will be fine.
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Old 01-03-2016, 12:06 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
25,378 posts, read 41,536,434 times
Reputation: 29457
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
I have been told that moving closer to your kids in retirement is not good .
That is not really a good rule. How about; It Depends?

When we moved away from our daughter, she followed, then moved 1,000+ miles away, then came back two years later...

We also have an adult son. He is also 1,000+ miles away... He never followed us around..

Like I said It Depends. It depends on a lot of factors.
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Old 01-03-2016, 12:38 PM
 
6,423 posts, read 3,601,801 times
Reputation: 7357
Down the street from your kids? NO. 1,000 miles away? NO. We are leaving Florida where we moved purely for a job 10 years ago. Our children live in NY. Do you have any idea how much $$$$ we have spent flying back to NY for not just Holidays but Births, Weddings, etc. My husband's heart attack? "Dad is going to DIE and we are a thousand miles away"! Do you want to deal with THAT? I don't.

We are moving to Pa., which is about a 2 hour drive away from our children. Close enough, but not TOO close.
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Old 01-03-2016, 12:45 PM
 
Location: Out there somewhere...a traveling man.
39,593 posts, read 47,862,313 times
Reputation: 110541
We live 5 miles from son/wife/grandchildren and have a great relationship with them. They go out of their way to help us if needed and are always fun to be around. It's been that way for nearly 20 years. So it depends as others have said upon your relationships.
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Old 01-03-2016, 04:40 PM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,230 posts, read 1,364,720 times
Reputation: 6455
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Saw this interesting article in the NYTimes today:

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2...smtyp=cur&_r=0

The Typical American Lives Only 18 Miles From Mom
How is this news? The charts they show are from 2008.

But I agree they made some interesting points. Other things just made me say: Duh.
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Old 01-03-2016, 04:43 PM
 
6,353 posts, read 5,088,595 times
Reputation: 12920
Quote:
Originally Posted by ansible90 View Post
How is this news? The charts they show are from 2008.

But I agree they made some interesting points. Other things just made me say: Duh.
Sorry
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Old 01-03-2016, 04:44 PM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,230 posts, read 1,364,720 times
Reputation: 6455
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Sorry
Don't be sorry. The article is recent. The data THEY used is old.
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