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I have been told that moving closer to your kids in retirement is not good . we are about 10 yrs away from retirement and we are thinking about moving closer to my daughter . I know when we sell this house we will get a good profit and will most likely buy a condo close to shopping and close to my daughter so that she can help us , should we need it and she has already offered as such since she does not plan on leaving where she is at ever . But some folks are telling me that this is a bad idea , they think you should not rely on anyone for help in retirement . Do any of you feel the same way ? my daughter is not married and does not plan on marrying at her age . But she does have two daughters . I do plan on moving close to shopping so that one of us can walk in case we are no longer able to drive . My grandmother used to stress having a plan for the future and 10 yrs will pass before you know it . I'm just wondering if anyone else feels moving close to their kids and grandkids in retirement is a bad idea ?
Last edited by phonelady61; 12-20-2015 at 10:10 AM..
Reason: spelling
My only comment is she could one day marry again and move. She may have a job opportunity elsewhere. You cannot count on your daughter staying put and she shouldn't be tied down either. One of my kids suggested I move where they live which is quite a distance and not someplace that I would choose to live (terrible winters) but they in turn always say they hate it there and won't stay! It's a risk you'd take. I'm not going to rely on my three kids for anything...they have too much on their plates and all live quite some distance away.
Nothing wrong with moving close to your daughter if she is ok with it. As long as the location would be acceptable to you whether or not she lived there, and you understand that she may change her mind someday about never moving from where she is.
Since you asked, I'm not crazy about the idea.
No matter what she says now, you would be putting quite a burden on your daughter by assuming her care.
There's nothing wrong in your plan to move....but pick a spot where you can develop relationships among people your own age. I assume your daughter is fully employed and wants to stay that way.
My sister and brother in law moved to be near their daughter and her family with this in mind. They are now stuck in Texas with all their friends and rest of family states away as daughter and family just moved to Dublin Ireland this weekend. Thought when my sister moved they should have gone to Florida to be with people their age and where their friends were. You need to think this over as things can change and quickly.
Are you planning on moving there now, 10 years before retirement? If you are, then I say do it if you can find good jobs and really want to be there. In 10 years you will be able to make friends, and establish yourself in the community. You will also be able to determine if you want to stay there in retirement. Don't do it just because your daughter is living there. So very many things can change drastically in 10 years.
As someone who moved away from my birthplace for school/career/preferred location, and who had to move back to care for my parents when they became sick/disabled, I think it is amazing and wonderful that you are thinking ahead about these things.
When you retire, you'll be in your mid 60's?? What makes you think you'll need help then ? For most people that's still a pretty active stage of life. It will most likely be you in your late 70's, 80's etc. when you would need help.
Thus, you're really considering closer to 20 + years down the road. You daughter may marry or have a significant other at that time. Forget what she tells you- things change, life changes . She may decide to move closer to her own kids who will be grown and off on their own. She may or may not be in the best of health herself at that time for any number of reasons. In twenty years, she's not going to be a spring chicken either.
She's also just one person. Do you want her to be housekeeper, chauffeur, nurse, etc. for 2 elderly, sick people. What about her life ? You have just one child . What is fair to her ?
You have lots to think about and lots of time to think about it. Make your moving decision when you get to the point you retire. Then look at whatever might be going on in your daughter's life.
In the meantime, explore long term care policies, put as much aside as you can in anticipation of assisted living if it comes to that. The care you expect your daughter to give maybe very different than what she
is willing or capable of giving.
There is nothing wrong with moving close to kids. Always nice to have family nearby if they all get along. The problems arise when expectations are different.
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