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Old 12-24-2015, 05:25 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,830 posts, read 4,944,472 times
Reputation: 17299

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Watch this TED talk. It mirrors my experience.

Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED Talk | TED.com

The Beatles had it right: Can't Buy Me Love; All you need is Love

Merry Christmas to all.
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Old 12-24-2015, 10:04 AM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,924 posts, read 987,556 times
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I was puzzled until I realized (I think) that your link takes us to Waldinger leaving the stage.


Maybe you can fix it.


I will comment anyway. Money can't buy love but it sure is easier to be in love when you have enough money, and All You Need is Love is pretty much just a song title.


Merry Christmas
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Old 12-24-2015, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,830 posts, read 4,944,472 times
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Here is that talk from the beginning: Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED Talk | TED.com
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Old 12-24-2015, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,726,438 times
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That was a very good talk! If other readers here are hesitating about clicking on it, I urge them to do so. What makes the good life, according to the talk, is avoiding loneliness by having relationships of good quality. It was pointed out that one can be lonely in a crowd, and also lonely in a marriage. It seems that in marriages, what matters is whether we feel we can count on the partner. We can bicker and argue, but if that feeling of trust is there (being able to count on the other), then one's health and longevity benefit. (None of that is my opinion only, projected onto the talk - rather I am trying to share the salient points as I remember them. But don't trust me - listen for yourself!)
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Old 12-24-2015, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Western Colorado
11,083 posts, read 12,461,714 times
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I have two dogs. They don't complain, don't criticize me, don't try to change me and don't insult me in front of their friends. Yup, you're right.
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Old 12-24-2015, 01:20 PM
 
13,314 posts, read 25,546,272 times
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Jim, what kind of pooches to you have?
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Old 12-24-2015, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Central Massachusetts
4,800 posts, read 4,843,254 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jim9251 View Post
I have two dogs. They don't complain, don't criticize me, don't try to change me and don't insult me in front of their friends. Yup, you're right.
Yup and to prove that loyalty lock the dogs in the trunk of the car and do the same to wife or husband. Who is going to give you a big kiss and who will use the shotgun when you let them out?
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Old 12-24-2015, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,962 posts, read 3,452,717 times
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That was a good talk. Thanks for sharing.

Beginning about ten years ago, three good friends died. I don't know if I've closed my heart or just not found anyone who I've let into my life. It's hard to meet people who have the interests I have.

My dearest friend I met when I was 10. He was my sister's classmate but he & I clicked & a friendship was born. His death was the most devastating to me. The next one I expected for a long time as she had diabetes & would not take care of herself. The third one was unexpected but, she was overweight & I did expect her to go before her time just not as soon as she did.

I'm still hoping to find a good friend but there is so much I can no longer do and I'm not getting out as much as I should. But, I am getting better so we'll see.
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Old 12-24-2015, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,726,438 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
That was a good talk. Thanks for sharing.

Beginning about ten years ago, three good friends died. I don't know if I've closed my heart or just not found anyone who I've let into my life. It's hard to meet people who have the interests I have.

My dearest friend I met when I was 10. He was my sister's classmate but he & I clicked & a friendship was born. His death was the most devastating to me. The next one I expected for a long time as she had diabetes & would not take care of herself. The third one was unexpected but, she was overweight & I did expect her to go before her time just not as soon as she did.

I'm still hoping to find a good friend but there is so much I can no longer do and I'm not getting out as much as I should. But, I am getting better so we'll see.
Your post highlights the dilemma of those of us who are getting up there in years but who are divorced or widowed and live alone. Our close friends with whom we have a long shared history start to die off, or a few even start to get seriously weird in their own old age. I think we need to do what we can to guard against becoming socially isolated, even if we do not create a close domestic partnership. For me volunteer work is one element in that.

I can see the value of living in an over-55 community in this regard. Although that is not my personal cup of tea, others have reported making many friends quickly upon moving into one.
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Old 12-24-2015, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,962 posts, read 3,452,717 times
Reputation: 10475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Your post highlights the dilemma of those of us who are getting up there in years but who are divorced or widowed and live alone. Our close friends with whom we have a long shared history start to die off, or a few even start to get seriously weird in their own old age. I think we need to do what we can to guard against becoming socially isolated, even if we do not create a close domestic partnership. For me volunteer work is one element in that.

I can see the value of living in an over-55 community in this regard. Although that is not my personal cup of tea, others have reported making many friends quickly upon moving into one.
I do live in a senior building & people have tried to get close but, as I said, there is so much I can no longer do. We have a community room and I do go to community events but, it really hurts to sit long in a "regular" chair. After an hour I can barely get out of the chair, much less walk down the hall to my apartment. I am getting better so maybe later on.
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