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Just be careful of CCRC's. My mother was in a expensive and reputable one. There was a clause that said if the resident posed a danger they could be kicked out. She ended up in the Alzheimer's wing. The problem was, the staff did not understand how to manage people with the disease. They would force her into the shower and she would hit them. My mother was 5 feet tall and 100 pounds. They forced us to transfer her to a psychiatric hospital. They gave her treatments that rendered her unable to function. Once back at the CCRC, she was left all day in a chair, became dehydrated and hospitalized. Once she returned to the CCRC, she developed terrible bed sores and died six months later from the Infection. We sued the CCRC and won the lawsuit.
Just a warning. We visited often unannounced and it looked very good, but you never know. We paid a large entrance fee. We sued to make them accountable and hopefully get better training for their staff.
Last edited by organic_donna; 12-28-2015 at 06:56 AM..
Assuming I had no family or friends I wanted to give the money to, I'd probably leave the estate to the Salvation Army, my church/religious organization, or some other charity.
I do not want this chat to lose focus. I am not asking for help. I pretty well have it figured out for me personally though there are always things to be learned. I am saying let us educate each other about things. Just saying no to something is of little help to anyone. Explain your beliefs as some have.
Things can vary widely especially when one has a spouse and/or heirs to consider so clarify that even though this chat was started primarily saying no spouse or heirs to consider. This does not mean you must have no spouse or heirs if you have information to add but also they are not the main concern of this chat. Things can also be age dependent so add that in to aid in clarification.
One person mentioned death with dignity. I am of that school but hopefully it is pretty far away......I hope....LOL
Just be careful of CCRC's. My mother was in a expensive and reputable one. There was a clause that said if the resident posed a danger they could be kicked out. She ended up in the Alzheimer's wing. The problem was, the staff did not understand how to manage people with the disease.
I'm sorry you and your mom had to go through that.
What you describe is a problem that can happen in any Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing facility, whether associated with a CCRC or not. it's important to vet them as thoroughly as possible.
OP, it seems to me that if you have a home, and no heirs, you might as well consider a reverse mortgage, and pull at least some of the equity out. Reverse mortgages do have quite a few pitfalls that I know about, and probably some I don't. For example, if you miss a tax payment, or if the bankers are not happy with the condition you keep the shack in, they can eventually repossess the house, at least as I understand it. So you do lose some autonomy. Perhaps others will post up other plus and minus issues.
I guess I have absorbed enough Eastern culture, Russian culture, that I do want to leave our place to the step-daughter, consider building wealth from generation to generation to be worth doing. Easy for me to say, as I expect to retire with a decent sum in my 401K, a defined benefit pension of roughly 50% salary, and in normal times I think I would be fine with just the pension payment for running expenses.
I have the same "problem." No kids, I'm not married, and I no longer have to worry about my parents. I'll probably leave an inheritance to my niece, but even if I don't she'll still be a millionaire. So I'm more worried about having fun while I'm still alive. I'm now 64, so no telling how much longer I have. Given my family history, I should last another 20-25 years.
Based on the theory that I don't get to live "happily ever after," I'm doing my best to have as much fun as possible. Travel, buy whatever toys I want, etc. I'm not going to worry too much about how I might pay for an extended nursing home stay. With my luck, that won't happen and I would have saved all that money for nothing.
So as the saying goes, I'll spend most of my money on wine, women and song. The rest I'll just waste.
For some who have lived a somewhat frugal life and in the process have accumulated wealth of some sorts, telling them to spend it all isn't anything that is likely possible. I had a client who never married and lived at home with his mother for most of his life until she passed away (Italian thing). He passed away at early age 70 and had to scramble to identify charities to receive his $3 million plus accumulation. He was still rapidly accumulating at the very end.
It's not that easy to change deeply-embedded behavior. My friend probably had a "killer marble collection" as a kid growing up.
Done that, done Pebble Beach, done St Andrews. I have had a great life.
Was it difficult to get a tee time at St Andrews? It is one of those that have to be experienced.
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