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Old 01-06-2016, 06:13 AM
 
6,211 posts, read 4,715,040 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
Wow! I would not even use some of your terms to describe even the worst-looking/behaving old folks in skid rows or nursing home!!!!!

.....
Regarding ambition and goals in old ages, if someone still possesses a lot of desires or spunk, good for them. If not, IMO, old people are entitled to take it easy...........

Here is the links to webpages of or about some of my fascinating elderly friends/acquaintances

......


Apparently I was not clear. Let me repeat, looks are secondary. The way older people look is not important to me. I did not mention anything about living on skid row or in nursing homes.


Sure old people are "entitled" to take it easy. And many do. Regardless of health, they sit around the house taking it easy which often means spending a great deal of time watching TV. Some are even health motivated and exercise and keep themselves physically active. Others retreat into a fantasy world reading fiction. Sure they are entitled, but they are boring.


I avoid such people as much as possible and when I am around them I really have nothing to say and feel nothing in common. Many seem to live in the past. I am rarely interested in their old war stories and memoirs since few had interesting lives to begin with. Hearing about the grandkids is about as interesting as listening to the cute stories about their pets. Then there are the old clichés about walking to school both directions uphill in the snow. And they repeat the same stories endlessly.


Some take up drinking as a hobby. It is always unpleasant to be around them. Others seem to revert to childhood and take up hobbies such as playing with model trains. Some old people collect stuff: old clocks, plates, glass frogs, whatever. That can morph into hording junk, old newspapers and magazines.


Regarding bathing. I don't understand why that becomes a problem. Maybe it has something to do with their skin drying and thinning out. Or they lose the sense of smell.


I also know quite a few very interesting older people who retain a thirst for knowledge and personal growth. Unfortunately they are in a small minority.
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Old 01-06-2016, 07:31 AM
 
Location: delaware
688 posts, read 863,777 times
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as I have posted here often, I grew up with old parents, aunts, uncles etc. -all in the same house- as my parents were middle aged when I was born. I almost always enjoyed being around them and their friends, as all had a very dry wit, were great conversationalists, always ready to try a new restaurant, and they generally enjoyed being together. additionally, they were people of insight and perception about themselves, the world, and other people. being in their company, I learned much of the insight about myself and others, that I feel I possess today- at least on a good day. even as an adult, I would drop by my aunts' house for lunch, about once a week, to break up the work day. I looked forward to seeing them, and, at this point in life, have very good memories of those times.


I was an "old child", which has positives and negatives, but I would say, in retrospect, I would consider my experiences growing up in that house to be mainly positive. I have always been very comfortable with older people ( not as much with children ), worked with them in a professional capacity, as a social worker, and do not find aging to be a daunting, fearful experience. that is not to say that aging does not have challenges, and I think I am usually realistic about those.


so,even though I realize that there are some elderly who are complainers and talk of nothing except illness(my guess is that many of these were negative even when younger),my general experience has been more positive than that, and my perceptions of aging, when I was young, have not appreciatively changed.


catsy
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Old 01-06-2016, 07:39 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seeriously View Post
These are, no doubt, the best years so far. Finally, the time and the means to enjoy myself. But I still find many old people annoying. They talk too much about themselves.
I will be seventy-eight in four months, and I too have found my senior years to be the best - despite lots of health problems.

I have lived in the U.S., Portugal and Cyprus amongst the people of those countries and with large populations English and Germans, and for the most part I learned to avoid people in their sixties and seventies. The majority were stuck in a rut, which they defended mightily, and they had very little interest in anything outside their small bailiwicks.

BellaDL wrote: "There is a spectrum of personality, intelligence, ambition etc. in ALL age group. A person does not change and become boring just because he or she is old."

So, perhaps they were always this way.
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Old 01-06-2016, 04:46 PM
 
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When I was young I barely thought about old people or getting old. I certainly had none of the negative impressions conveyed in the OP. But one thing I will say ... a key reason for me not thinking much about aging when I was young was that I was really struggling to grow up and to reach what society deemed "adult milestones."

I wish I had questioned it more.

I nearly drove myself crazy in a race to be "grown up."

Probably underlying much of this was being scared sh__less of adult responsibility and independent living. The world was changing so fast especially here in the US. It was becoming more and more impossible for most people to settle into some sort of middle of the road, middle income groove. So there was subconscious fear messing with my head.

A cliche but a good one - I wish I knew then what I know now.

I would have taken a very different road - one less traveled.
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Old 01-06-2016, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Connecticut is my adopted home.
2,276 posts, read 3,076,777 times
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jrkliny wrote:I also know quite a few very interesting older people who retain a thirst for knowledge and personal growth. Unfortunately they are in a small minority.I also know quite a few very interesting older people who retain a thirst for knowledge and personal growth. Unfortunately they are in a small minority.

BellaDL wrote:"There is a spectrum of personality, intelligence, ambition etc. in ALL age group. A person does not change and become boring just because he or she is old."

We were just talking about this today and it is an interesting subject. I think there are a lot of dynamics that play into the "old elderly" syndrome. I'm observing it first hand in my mother and my in-laws.

I think as one gets older, progress such as the digital age has passed them by and is intimidating to them. Every new appliance or piece of technology is complex and not intuitive to people raised in the analog era. At some point the comfort zone zooms inward and people just get cut off from mainstream life. Music, media, art and fashions are confusing and causes discomfort. Some of it challenges moral and ethical codes instilled from childhood like modesty and propriety which are often considered outmoded concepts. In fear and disorientation old folks retreat to their homes and to the past.

It is uncomfortable to find yourself behind the power curve when for most of your life you were out in front of it. It takes courage to keep your standards and yet remain relevant in the face of a changing world and it takes energy and intellectual curiosity to get out there every day and keep up with the daily hustle. I also think at some point and that is when that energy to do these things becomes consumed with just daily living that it becomes, "Why bother anymore?" Myself at 57 and still in the mix might bear no resemblance to myself at 77 but maybe I will.

One thing is for certain, you are as comfortable in your own skin as an older person as you will ever be. If I had my mature mind in my 20 year old body, it would really have been something.

Again, interesting subject.

Last edited by AK-Cathy; 01-06-2016 at 05:56 PM..
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Old 01-06-2016, 09:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AK-Cathy View Post
....................

I think as one gets older, progress such as the digital age has passed them by and is intimidating to them. Every new appliance or piece of technology is complex and not intuitive to people raised in the analog era. .........
Your argument might have made sense 20 years ago but not anymore. Computers have been common for 25 years or longer. Same with lots of other digital devices. The newer devices and appliances have way more capability but are often easier to operate than the older devices. VCRs and home stereo hookups were a nightmare years ago and often components were not compatible. Now most are plug and play.
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Old 01-06-2016, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Connecticut is my adopted home.
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I guess I'm looking at it like a girl and a bit of a Luddite...

Digital stoves, smart function appliances, phones etc. to me are more difficult to manage with every new iteration anytime I must replace an old one. Yeah, they have more features, often not what I want in the first place and the basic things that I do use like setting timers require more steps than before. Thank God for Apple and my DH or I'd probably not be computerized. When I was single I didn't have VCRs or stereos as I'm hopeless and hapless with technology. My Mom can't be bothered to learn to use a computer at all. I stand by my premise. I'd be willing to bet that you are male which does make a difference in the matter of gadgetry.
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Old 01-06-2016, 10:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AK-Cathy View Post
....... I'd be willing to bet that you are male which does make a difference in the matter of gadgetry.

Whoa. I have a wife and two daughters who would take offense at that, especially my younger daughter who has an engineering degree from Johns Hopkins.


I am willing to bet the difference is more geography. Living in the "hills" of Kansas sounds rural. Jobs and lifestyles might be less involved with technology.
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Old 01-07-2016, 01:12 PM
 
4,343 posts, read 6,052,492 times
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Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
Whoa. I have a wife and two daughters who would take offense at that, especially my younger daughter who has an engineering degree from Johns Hopkins.


I am willing to bet the difference is more geography. Living in the "hills" of Kansas sounds rural. Jobs and lifestyles might be less involved with technology.
You cant swing a dead cat in here without offending someone. My apologies if I offended cat lovers.
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Old 01-07-2016, 01:42 PM
 
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No offense taken. But I would not try to use gender as an excuse for not keeping up with technology.
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