U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-19-2019, 08:44 AM
 
11,288 posts, read 8,467,169 times
Reputation: 20521

Advertisements

LOL @ mlb
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-19-2019, 08:53 AM
 
4,454 posts, read 2,632,495 times
Reputation: 10396
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
I'm posting this in Retirement because I think it's an "older person" phenomenon. (Plus I can't stand the thought of putting it in the "Romantic Relationship" section.) He's 51, I'm 55.

We have two identical, really comfortable queen sized beds. One in our room, one in the spare/guest room.

If I wanted to read in bed, I'd go to the spare room so as not to disturb him. I normally take something to help me sleep but there have been many nights I'd lay awake, listening to him snore and eventually move to the spare room. So now it's evolved into sleeping separately.

We're both better rested and are in better moods. (Despite the cat migrating with me. ) We don't get resentful over having our sleep disturbed by the other. And our love life has actually improved, oddly enough.

So I'm not really sure how to explain it to the various offspring (of his) who come by. It's a little embarrassing because it gives the impression that we're not "together" when in reality our relationship is better than ever. I haven't migrated my clothes, etc over so right now I just scour the room before they show up. I'd be fine moving the dresser because I leave earlier so I get clothes together and stage them outside of his room anyway to allow him to sleep as late as possible.

Any similar stories? Any suggestions on the kids? Really I can see this is going to get to the place where we just don't care what anyone else thinks - we love our life together. It's not a big house so the bedrooms are for sleeping. We spend as many waking hours together as possible.

If someone visits I can bunk with him.
My MIL sent my FIL packing to the spare bedroom because...he snores like a freight train.

Simple to tell them this "he snores, so we both sleep better separately". Leave it at that.

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2019, 11:14 AM
 
Location: planet earth
4,897 posts, read 1,874,081 times
Reputation: 10933
Weird that children are "investigating" your rooms and that you think your sleeping arrangements are their (or anybody's) business - or that you would have to defend yourselves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2019, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,774 posts, read 4,777,332 times
Reputation: 28465
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Weird that children are "investigating" your rooms and that you think your sleeping arrangements are their (or anybody's) business - or that you would have to defend yourselves.
When we were kids our parents would from time to time visit a family in a nearby town. They were cool in our juvenile estimation because 1) they had a basement and 2) they'd been to Disneyland.

The basement was built out to be a large rumpus room and one bedroom, maybe a bathroom too, I can't recall. It was explained to us that Dad slept down there because he kept Mom awake with his snoring. Their kids were keenly aware that this was not what "most" people did. I think it actually caused them some anxiety.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2019, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
3,551 posts, read 1,670,524 times
Reputation: 10174
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Their kids were keenly aware that this was not what "most" people did. I think it actually caused them some anxiety.

Some kids just seem to have a gift for finding something their parents do that causes them anxiety. If it wasn't this, it would be something else.


When I was growing up it was pretty common to have kids inherit their parents' bed when the parents upgraded to a king size. Most of us thought that was pretty cool--you got upgraded from a twin to a queen. But one friend of mine was all freaked out because she "couldn't possibly sleep in the same bed where I was conceived." She was seriously freaked out by this thought.


Kids!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2019, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Kronenwetter Wisconsin
292 posts, read 142,579 times
Reputation: 600
When I got married my dad moved into my old bedroom. He snored and my mom couldn't handle it. My husband and I have not shared a bedroom in over 10 years. He also snores. I was wearing ear plugs but they hurt my ears. I lucked out and have the king bed with an attached bath and he has a queen across from the bathroom. In the fall our son and his wife and 15 yr old grandson moved in with us for the next year or 2. Luckily we had a enough room as not to change our sleeping habits. When we travel I have to bring ear plugs along so I can sleep in the same room as him.
I also love to read and sometimes stay up until after midnight. He likes to be asleep by 10 at the latest.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2019, 10:49 AM
 
Location: New Mexico
6,646 posts, read 3,700,783 times
Reputation: 12489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
I did get a CPAP machine this year that helps me sleep better but also cuts out the snoring problem.
That CPAP certainly ended my snoring. My wife was happy and it was almost Pavlovian in how it put me to sleep. Now, if I fall asleep without it my snoring wakes me up immediately.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2019, 11:36 AM
 
259 posts, read 55,312 times
Reputation: 370
Snoring is an issue and we do separate rooms now too. I am also a really light sleeper that has gotten worse with age and I need my sleep. I don't see this as an issue. The kids did wonder for a moment but they were aware of the snoring so it made perfect sense.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2019, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
9,018 posts, read 7,787,258 times
Reputation: 12283
Showing our age. Remember when it was fun sleeping double in a single bed?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-21-2019, 01:27 PM
 
659 posts, read 326,475 times
Reputation: 1974
My mother told me she never saw my grandparents share a bed. They always had seperate rooms. Somehow they managed to have 6 kids. Grandma acted like she hated men!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top