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Old 01-16-2016, 09:52 AM
 
11,278 posts, read 8,448,832 times
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I'm posting this in Retirement because I think it's an "older person" phenomenon. (Plus I can't stand the thought of putting it in the "Romantic Relationship" section.) He's 51, I'm 55.

We have two identical, really comfortable queen sized beds. One in our room, one in the spare/guest room.

If I wanted to read in bed, I'd go to the spare room so as not to disturb him. I normally take something to help me sleep but there have been many nights I'd lay awake, listening to him snore and eventually move to the spare room. So now it's evolved into sleeping separately.

We're both better rested and are in better moods. (Despite the cat migrating with me. ) We don't get resentful over having our sleep disturbed by the other. And our love life has actually improved, oddly enough.

So I'm not really sure how to explain it to the various offspring (of his) who come by. It's a little embarrassing because it gives the impression that we're not "together" when in reality our relationship is better than ever. I haven't migrated my clothes, etc over so right now I just scour the room before they show up. I'd be fine moving the dresser because I leave earlier so I get clothes together and stage them outside of his room anyway to allow him to sleep as late as possible.

Any similar stories? Any suggestions on the kids? Really I can see this is going to get to the place where we just don't care what anyone else thinks - we love our life together. It's not a big house so the bedrooms are for sleeping. We spend as many waking hours together as possible.

If someone visits I can bunk with him.
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Old 01-16-2016, 09:59 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,253 posts, read 8,556,682 times
Reputation: 35693
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
I'm posting this in Retirement because I think it's an "older person" phenomenon. (Plus I can't stand the thought of putting it in the "Romantic Relationship" section.) He's 51, I'm 55.

We have two identical, really comfortable queen sized beds. One in our room, one in the spare/guest room.

If I wanted to read in bed, I'd go to the spare room so as not to disturb him. I normally take something to help me sleep but there have been many nights I'd lay awake, listening to him snore and eventually move to the spare room. So now it's evolved into sleeping separately.

We're both better rested and are in better moods. (Despite the cat migrating with me. ) We don't get resentful over having our sleep disturbed by the other. And our love life has actually improved, oddly enough.

So I'm not really sure how to explain it to the various offspring (of his) who come by. It's a little embarrassing because it gives the impression that we're not "together" when in reality our relationship is better than ever. I haven't migrated my clothes, etc over so right now I just scour the room before they show up. I'd be fine moving the dresser because I leave earlier so I get clothes together and stage them outside of his room anyway to allow him to sleep as late as possible.

Any similar stories? Any suggestions on the kids? Really I can see this is going to get to the place where we just don't care what anyone else thinks - we love our life together. It's not a big house so the bedrooms are for sleeping. We spend as many waking hours together as possible.

If someone visits I can bunk with him.
It's interesting that now we're concerned that our kids might think their parents are NOT having sex so there's the need to conceal sleeping separately when not that many years ago we were concerned (perhaps both as kids AND parents ourselves) that our parents ARE sexual.

I think you just have to do whatever is easiest for you. I'd hope your kids have enough discretion that they don't even ask about it - it is none of their business!
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Old 01-16-2016, 09:59 AM
 
Location: WA
5,397 posts, read 21,412,400 times
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We start every night in one king and move around to two other bedrooms occasionally as snoring happens on both sides. No explanation needed, just the way it is.
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Ft Myers, FL
2,593 posts, read 1,294,589 times
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It probably wont be a big deal to them you guys are grownups now, and hopefully so are they. But since you asked, if it comes up, Id tell them, We're both better rested and are in better moods, our love life has actually improved, our relationship is better than ever, and we love our life together.
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:23 AM
 
Location: SoCal
6,075 posts, read 9,542,279 times
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My dad's parents always had separate bedrooms. As a kid, I chalked it up to grandpa's snoring being the issue. I don't think it'll be an issue with the kids.
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:25 AM
 
16,720 posts, read 14,723,824 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
So I'm not really sure how to explain it to the various offspring (of his) who come by. It's a little embarrassing because it gives the impression that we're not "together" when in reality our relationship is better than ever.

My husband and I do this. When our last kid moved out, he moved in to her old room.


We watch whatever we want on TV, we each get great sleep at night, I can have the fan on and he can sleep under heavy covers, etc.


The kids didn't think it was weird because we didn't act like it was weird.


When they noticed, we just said we couldn't be happier with separate bedrooms, and we still meet in the middle if that's what they are wondering. They quit asking. LOL


Both of our parents had separate bedrooms anyway, so the kids understand, in fact, our oldest and her girlfriend have separate bedrooms too.


It really saves a relationship.


Welcome to the club!
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Ocean Shores, WA
5,081 posts, read 12,981,967 times
Reputation: 10649
Default Sleeping Single in a Double Bed

My Old Lady snored
So I killed her Dead
Now I'm Sleeping Single in a Double Bed
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:32 AM
 
4,490 posts, read 4,751,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Freddy View Post
My Old Lady snored
So I killed her Dead
Now I'm Sleeping Single in a Double Bed

there ya go!
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Old 01-16-2016, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in northern Alabama
17,904 posts, read 54,244,442 times
Reputation: 30436
Why worry about what kids think? Get a whipping rack and some fuzzy cuffs and let their eyes bug out.

On a more serious note, please suggest that he have his snoring checked out in a sleep study. Sleep apnea is a VERY serious medical issue. DW had sleep apnea, and even with use of an APAP the damage that was building up in her lungs eventually led to her death. I think our sleeping together and my nudging when she got into breathing problems extended her life and quality of life.
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Old 01-16-2016, 11:15 AM
 
11,278 posts, read 8,448,832 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Freddy View Post
My Old Lady snored
So I killed her Dead
Now I'm Sleeping Single in a Double Bed
IS THAT HOW THE SONG REALLY GOES??
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