U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-19-2016, 06:16 AM
 
6,314 posts, read 4,762,537 times
Reputation: 12968

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55 View Post
..... My husband used to work at the Ford assembly plant in Mahwah NJ during summers off from school. No scars - just plenty of funny stories. You sure didn't want to buy any car that he had anything to do with! Robyn
I suspect the stories are not that funny. There was plenty of sabotage and poor work ethic in the old unionized auto assembly plants. Of course that more than anything else killed the US auto industry. We continue to hear about the decline of US middle class and the loss of manufacturing jobs and we wonder what happened. It wasn't, isn't, just cheap Japanese or Chinese labor.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-19-2016, 06:16 AM
 
677 posts, read 842,767 times
Reputation: 1191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Siegel View Post
Mine isn't all that bad and isn't a scar but it is an event worth mentioning.

Going into the crash of 2008, my savings were almost entirely in cash and TIPS bonds because I thought the stock market was too risky. After the market did in fact crash, I thought I had found the formula for asset allocation - don't buy stocks! - and when the recovery came, I was totally unprepared. I never really got back in the market. (I have a little bit in equities.)

So, over 2009-2015, my friends and colleagues who have been about as successful as I am saw their net worth rocket past $3 million...$5 million...sometimes more. I can't complain about my own nest egg, but I have definitely fallen behind people I regard as peers.


And this is why we don't get out of the market. I was a wreck after the 2008 loss, but we came back ahead by not touching our money. I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned right now, but I am going to trust that our plan will work in the end.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2016, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,657 posts, read 17,640,506 times
Reputation: 27762
I don't have any catastrophic situations to remember, but a few years ago I moved across the country for a job sight unseen, and it didn't pay all that much more than the job I had at the time. I probably blew $10,000 getting out there, coming back, buying furniture then selling it, etc. That's not even accounting the fact that my wages were low for all 2013. I did get back in the saddle, but man, that sure was a hit and I should have never done it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2016, 07:51 AM
 
Location: The Carolinas
2,008 posts, read 2,023,024 times
Reputation: 6104
It has been said that smart people learn from their mistakes and VERY smart people also learn from others' mistakes.


My wife and myself have saved every penny possible over the past 30 years. We've gone on simple, fairly inexpensive vacations. Have bought, paid off, and sold two houses and paid cash for our current one. We have no debt, two paid-off cars, no more student loans.


Your collective scars and the scars of my parents and family and also my scars. Although, that has recently been tempered by the deaths of David Bowie, Alan Rickman, and Glen Frey. We have worked and saved enough. My wife is retiring end of next week. I'm retiring end of March.


We're tired of trading time for money, since we don't know how much more time any of us has. Could be 30 years--could be 30 seconds. At this point "we have enough".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2016, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,810 posts, read 4,859,778 times
Reputation: 19527
Quote:
Originally Posted by adams_aj View Post
It has been said that smart people learn from their mistakes and VERY smart people also learn from others' mistakes.


My wife and myself have saved every penny possible over the past 30 years. We've gone on simple, fairly inexpensive vacations. Have bought, paid off, and sold two houses and paid cash for our current one. We have no debt, two paid-off cars, no more student loans.


Your collective scars and the scars of my parents and family and also my scars. Although, that has recently been tempered by the deaths of David Bowie, Alan Rickman, and Glen Frey. We have worked and saved enough. My wife is retiring end of next week. I'm retiring end of March.


We're tired of trading time for money, since we don't know how much more time any of us has. Could be 30 years--could be 30 seconds. At this point "we have enough".

Both of these quotes could have been said by me. I try to learn and not make the mistakes others have. It might have made me a little too risk averse over my life, but hey all's well that ends well and I am enjoying how my life has worked out in the end. Everyone in my work place said "Why are you retiring so young? You can really boost your pension if you stay 5 more years". And "tired of trading my time for money" was my reply. We don't know what we're giving up if we don't know how long we'll live. Seeing my mom go at 65 told me what I needed to know.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2016, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Close to an earthquake
890 posts, read 679,554 times
Reputation: 2390
I remember a long time ago reading a book by Thomas Moore called "Care of the Soul". In the book, which I no longer have, was a story about how a young man (and a father to a young son) tried really hard to raise his son a certain way and be available to him because he didn't want to be how his father was to him.

Moore shared how this person's motives were misguided in that the reason this young man should want to do these things was because it was the right thing to do and not because he didn't want to be like his father.

These are not his exact words in the book but that is what I remember so very long ago.

I think there's something about that appealing to me. So often in our pursuit of doing good, financially or whatever, it is because we don't want to be like how someone was. Better, I believe and agree with Moore, our motives should be because it's the right thing to do. Easier said than done because family-of-original or yesteryear financial scars, as I call them, have an influence on the degree to which we accentuate the negative rather than the positive. Not all the time but still nonetheless.

And I speak for myself in what I've said realizing that some here may have been fed a bowl of cherries all their life and their far and few between negative experiences are not their motivators to the degree with which they may be for others.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2016, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,441 posts, read 7,948,543 times
Reputation: 53584
I was raised by an alcoholic stay at home mom and and alcoholic father who was frequently fired from jobs. Add to the mix his DUI's and accidents that kept him at home as well. I grew up hiding from strangers who knocked on doors, and having to deal with irate bill collectors when they would call. Evidently my parents thought they would be less hostile to a child. Wrong. I had to refinance my newly paid off car in high school to make a house payment lest it go into foreclosure. I was forced to think like an adult about money at a very young age.

I had to be creative and learn how to earn money for school clothes and for whatever else I wanted at around age ten unless I wanted to feel like some refugee wearing only hand me down clothes from the neighbors. Our house was the ugliest, dirtiest house on the block. Having friends over was embarrassing. The only escape I had from the abuse and misery was to channel that energy into making money.

I was on my own at 20 and there was no one to bail me out if I got into financial trouble. I did fine. I didn't need anyone to bail me out. I worked two jobs and nearly bought my first house alone at 26. To this day I view money as a tool and not much more.

John gave me the most amazing birthday card yesterday and in it he said "only you made us rich and happy by knocking on my door." (Yep that's how we met.) Life is full of twists and turns. People come and go, except for John. The money will always be a constant in my life as well. That habit is deeply ingrained.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2016, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,441 posts, read 7,948,543 times
Reputation: 53584
Quote:
Originally Posted by LAappraiser View Post
My financial scar from the past that affects me today is that up until about 40, I was always poor. I lived paycheck to paycheck and that nicer car or nicer apartment was always just out of reach. Fast forward to now, I'm 63 and my business has been very successful. I could easily retire with the money I've been able to save & invest. However, the very thought of no new money coming in every month scares the bejeezus out of me because of the fear of being poor again even though that would be almost impossible given my current position. Consequently, I know that I will never retire. When I've had a tough week of work and start complaining as we all do, friends and family will say, "why don't you just quit, you can afford to". I smile and tell them that I love what what I do. While this may be true, the real reason is that fear from the past.

I understand where you're coming from completely. Making money becomes a way of life in a comfort zone. I was a workaholic until I was looking at a two centimeter mass on my mammogram during a follow up diagnostic mammogram. It was on John's birthday last year as well. I made a promise to myself and him that if I was okay I would change my life. I retired about two months later at 58. He's been retired for two years now. The goals would be reached and I thought I would be satisfied, but no, it was never enough money, just like it's never enough sugar.

Well my workaholic days are over. I have no desire to enter that rat race again. We still have plenty of money and the sky didn't fall. Was it frightening for me to give up my paycheck with no money coming in for at least four to seven years when I collect my social security? YES!!! Was it scary to start using the money from the rental properties instead of hoarding it? Absolutely. Do I worry about losing a tenant? Sure, but the reality is that we have enough liquid income to add a tidy sum to our monthly income for the next twenty five years. We will also have another payout on top of that whenever we choose to take it that will last twenty years.

I'm learning how not to make work my life and I'm amazed at how easy the transition has been. Much easier then giving up sugar. I hope you find a way to exorcise that money making demon and find a way to live LA. This feeling of total freedom has made me realize that I wasn't living being a slave to my work addiction. It was just in my comfort zone. I was missing so much life and fun for that next fix.

Someone once told me on City Data to come on in. The water's fine about retiring and all that unnecessary anxiety that went along with it. I'm going to pay it forward to you. Now to get back on the wagon about that sugar problem. I was knee deep in shorties since Friday and three more came over for my birthday yesterday bearing some of my favorite treats. Okay I made it 17 days without it, one day isn't so bad. I swear I'll quit tomorrow.

Retire LAappraiser before you waste your entire life just existing. Go out and have some fun.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2016, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Close to an earthquake
890 posts, read 679,554 times
Reputation: 2390
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
I understand where you're coming from completely. Making money becomes a way of life in a comfort zone. I was a workaholic until I was looking at a two centimeter mass on my mammogram during a follow up diagnostic mammogram. It was on John's birthday last year as well. I made a promise to myself and him that if I was okay I would change my life. I retired about two months later at 58. He's been retired for two years now. The goals would be reached and I thought I would be satisfied, but no, it was never enough money, just like it's never enough sugar.

Well my workaholic days are over. I have no desire to enter that rat race again. We still have plenty of money and the sky didn't fall. Was it frightening for me to give up my paycheck with no money coming in for at least four to seven years when I collect my social security? YES!!! Was it scary to start using the money from the rental properties instead of hoarding it? Absolutely. Do I worry about losing a tenant? Sure, but the reality is that we have enough liquid income to add a tidy sum to our monthly income for the next twenty five years. We will also have another payout on top of that whenever we choose to take it that will last twenty years.

I'm learning how not to make work my life and I'm amazed at how easy the transition has been. Much easier then giving up sugar. I hope you find a way to exorcise that money making demon and find a way to live LA. This feeling of total freedom has made me realize that I wasn't living being a slave to my work addiction. It was just in my comfort zone. I was missing so much life and fun for that next fix.

Someone once told me on City Data to come on in. The water's fine about retiring and all that unnecessary anxiety that went along with it. I'm going to pay it forward to you. Now to get back on the wagon about that sugar problem. I was knee deep in shorties since Friday and three more came over for my birthday yesterday bearing some of my favorite treats. Okay I made it 17 days without it, one day isn't so bad. I swear I'll quit tomorrow.

Retire LAappraiser before you waste your entire life just existing. Go out and have some fun.
You hit a home run twice with your two shares and I'd like to thank you. Your recent one hit a mental chord with me as I struggle to let go of what I'm doing and turn to a new chapter of my life where work and my profession is what I did rather than what I'm doing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-19-2016, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Idaho
1,457 posts, read 1,159,750 times
Reputation: 5540
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
I understand where you're coming from completely. Making money becomes a way of life in a comfort zone. I was a workaholic until I was looking at a two centimeter mass on my mammogram during a follow up diagnostic mammogram. It was on John's birthday last year as well. I made a promise to myself and him that if I was okay I would change my life.

......

Retire LAappraiser before you waste your entire life just existing. Go out and have some fun.
animalcrazy,

Yes, I had a similar scare when my daughter was a high school senior. I did not make any resolution but the incident clearly influenced my life attitude and made me more determined to 'live the moment' and to 'seize the day'.

I second your suggestion to LAappraiser to go out and have some fun. For married folks, I would like to suggest to take your spouse's feeling and health condition into consideration in deciding when to stop working and making money. Life is short and unexpected so we constantly have to evaluate all tradeoff options.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top