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Old 01-19-2016, 01:16 PM
6,886 posts, read 7,295,373 times
Reputation: 9791


Well, FIRST I would address the issue of why you are married to someone who makes fun of that and so rudely!
I stopped wondering a long time a log why people stay with or marry people who make fun of, or mistreat them, belittle or debase them.
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Old 01-19-2016, 01:46 PM
1,039 posts, read 659,906 times
Reputation: 1730
Funny you should bring this up

I bumped into an old squeeze and was introducing him around to people.

I remembered, all of a sudden, how hard of hearing he is.

He was huh? Pardon? to everyone.

This is so common in my peer group its not funny - being that we are all hangovers from the 60s and 70 when hair was long and music was loud, a concert was nothing if you weren't having your eardrums burst open by standing in front of megaspeakers.

I myself worked in a Rock Hall and that's where I learnt to lipread. It was so loud you couldn't hear the orders being shouted at you.

What im getting at is, no one is teased or discriminated against within my peer group or older, that I know of, for Hearing difficulties. Its just so common.
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Old 01-19-2016, 02:08 PM
6,684 posts, read 3,175,268 times
Reputation: 8464
Originally Posted by anitak1982 View Post
I mainly am referring to physical disabilities such as seeing, hearing, walking etc. Depression, drug abuse, mental health etc these disabilities are a different topic
What about Down's syndrome or Asperger's syndrome? Do you consider those mental health issues, and therefore a different topic? Down's syndrome is caused by a chromosome, and is therefore definitely a physical disability, not a mental health issue. Asperger's syndrome is actually caused by physical brain problems, so it too is the same kind of disability as deafness, blindness, being in a wheelchair, etc. And people hardly tolerate Asperger's syndrome at all, because it causes people to have strange personalities that other people don't like. So instead of thinking of them as having a disability, they just think of them as jerks. Isn't that exactly the same problem you're talking about?

And what if a person has both Asperger's syndrome and deafness? A person like that might not even be able to keep custody of their own children, because a typical judge would perceive them as being incompetent jerks who should not be trusted with the care of any children, not even their own. In rural counties, with population below 100,000, people with such disabilities and combinations of disabilities lose custody of their own children all the time. It's almost routine. It just takes a minor trigger event, such as a child gets in some kind of trouble, or someone perceives the parent as doing something wrong, or anything like that, and someone calls the police, and the police perceive the person as being an incompetent jerk, and charge them with whatever crime can even remotely fit the circumstances, to let a judge decide what to do about them. And what the judge often ends up deciding is that even if the parent didn't actually commit a crime, the children should go to foster care for their own safety.

So it's a much more general problem than just with deafness. It's society's intolerance of disabilities in general, with the intolerance being greatest for disabilities that are hard to understand. Especially in relatively rural areas, where people tend to be less educated and less tolerant of differences.
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Old 01-19-2016, 02:18 PM
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,685,445 times
Reputation: 35449
I began losing my hearing in my early 60's as did my mom who was completely deaf in her 80's. I have hearing aides but they only help a bit. I can still many things but not under some circumstances. Maybe better ones would work but I only have those I can afford.

I tell people don't talk to me with your face turned away. I can't hear you. They do it anyway then ask "Didn't you hear me?"

Cochlear implants are only for some hearing conditions as are hearing aids. Besides being expensive, hearing aids are not comfortable for many people. I can't get through the day with them. If I'm home by myself, out they go. So saying this condition can easily be corrected is false.

I would not say that hearing loss is the least tolerated disability though. In fact, I don't know why anyone needs to compare disabilities to begin with. "My disability is worse than your disability?"

Every disability sadly comes with its problems and challenges. There are always going to be jerks who are intolerant no matter what the disability may be.
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Old 01-19-2016, 02:40 PM
Location: The Carolinas
2,007 posts, read 2,021,287 times
Reputation: 6104
Originally Posted by selhars View Post
I stopped wondering a long time a log why people stay with or marry people who make fun of, or mistreat them, belittle or debase them.

This gets to the heart of the original poster's and my comments: if someone doesn't see [insert your disability here] as a disability or understand the profound implications it can have on a person, it is "not tolerated" to the point of being ridiculed.

Aside from this, my wife is an incredibly intelligent, thoughtful, and loving person to me--always has been. I just haven't been able to cross the "this-is-a-disability" threshold with her on this one. It's all good.
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Old 01-19-2016, 02:41 PM
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,851 posts, read 919,515 times
Reputation: 5409
My 'least tolerated disability' would be ignorance.... All others can be overcome and overlooked...but that one... won't ever get my 'approval'.
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Old 01-19-2016, 04:05 PM
9,688 posts, read 15,881,967 times
Reputation: 16046
My mother was hard-of-hearing for much of my life. I admit, with much shame and guilt, that I was intolerant of her, to the point of meanness. In my defense, much of my intolerance was when I was younger and simply lacked understanding and empathy that only comes from maturity.

Now, at age 62, my hearing is slightly impaired. Its quite minor, usually only when using the phone, or in conversations where's there's a lot of background noise. Although my hearing loss is minor and within normal range for my age, its still very frustrating. I feel isolated in group conversations. I wanted to go back to college for a Master's in Library Science/History, but fear not being able to follow along with the class. I do telephone work, a little supplemental income. I/m fine when I use my own equipment, with volume amplifiers and tone stabilizers, etc, but I'm almost in tears trying to use a cell phone, especially when the other party is using a cell. Oftentimes its due to them not speaking directly into the mouthpiece, but they can converse with others, just not me. Those who know me know to speak into the mic, not all over the place, but its hard to ask others to do so. I resort to email, text for essential information, like time, date, numbers, etc.

It truly is an invisible disability.
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Old 01-19-2016, 04:13 PM
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,814 posts, read 7,719,752 times
Reputation: 15118
My son has autism, and people are usually nice to him, or they just ignore him. Most don't know though because in some ways he's normal. Personally, I think being really ugly is the one disability that gets the least sympathy. And some people just can't help it, but if you have a deformity in your face, people have a hard time even looking you in the eye.
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Old 01-19-2016, 04:13 PM
12,825 posts, read 20,157,976 times
Reputation: 10910
ASD is another one.

Now imagine ASD + all the other "typical" areas of decline with aging. Oh, and in many (nearly all?) cases of folks 55+ who have ASD, there was no diagnosis until very recently (if at all). So no mitigation or therapy (if any) until way too late.
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Old 01-19-2016, 04:31 PM
Location: Alexandria, VA
11,419 posts, read 20,287,954 times
Reputation: 16495
I know OP was looking for confirmation of hard-of-hearing, but there are many things. Hard of hearing can be difficult, having to speak louder, etc., why did you answer the question that someone had asked your husband?
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