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Old 01-20-2016, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,681,631 times
Reputation: 35449

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See this gorgeous guy? He won the latest "America's Next Top Model" contest. For those who don't watch it that's a big deal. It has launched successful modeling and acting careers. Tyra Banks is the producer.

He has been totally deaf from birth as is his mother. He competed against twenty other beautiful contestants male and female after being chosen from thousands. He had a signing interpreter and a phone device that used an electronic voice to communicate but it was difficult to compete with hearing people during the challenges they had to participate in.

Sometimes he lost one of the weekly challenges the contestants had to go through because of his hearing impairment. That made him try even harder the next time. Sometimes the other contestants were mean to him like taking away his special phone. Other times they were kind when some of them tried to learn a bit of sign language. Through his interpreter he said he often felt isolated when the others were socializing.

Through all that he remained the nicest one there and comforted others as the fierce competition became an unbearable strain for young 19-22 year olds. Eventually everyone came to like and admire him even though he was clearly one of their strongest competitors. He was just so good natured.

He "talked" about being deaf all his life and the hardships it created but he said he wouldn't trade his life for anything. His mom raised him and his brother by herself. He was always encouraged by her to achieve whatever goals he set.

This guy is an inspiration. Sure his looks helped, but looks didn't get him where he got to in a field of equally beautiful people. Hard work and knowing he was worth it did. He deserved to win.

The worst disability of all is self pity.
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Old 01-20-2016, 12:03 PM
 
Location: SW US
2,220 posts, read 2,038,205 times
Reputation: 3829
The thread title has nothing to do with hearing loss, so it seems we have gotten into "which disability is the worst". Any invisible disability is worse because too many people think disability means only a visible mobility impairment.
I will add mine to the list - chemical intolerances resulting from a workplace chemical exposure injury. Perfumes, vehicle fumes, disinfectant residues, new clothing, fabric softener residues, new carpeting or paint, etc., all affect us negatively be it via brain malfunctioning or breathing problems or long term inflammation or auto-immune diseases. Because we need other people to change their behaviors to be around us, we are usually disparaged and rarely adequately accommodated. Unless we pass out in front of them, people will not see the effects of their lack of accommodation on us.
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Old 01-20-2016, 12:57 PM
 
4,069 posts, read 1,560,196 times
Reputation: 7411
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post



The worst disability of all is self pity.

Maybe, maybe not, but being a self-righteous twit is a serious contender.....
Of course, Mini, I don't mean you. Its the other ones that post on here.
Have a nice day.
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Old 01-20-2016, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,681,631 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Windwalker2 View Post
The thread title has nothing to do with hearing loss, so it seems we have gotten into "which disability is the worst". Any invisible disability is worse because too many people think disability means only a visible mobility impairment.
I will add mine to the list - chemical intolerances resulting from a workplace chemical exposure injury. Perfumes, vehicle fumes, disinfectant residues, new clothing, fabric softener residues, new carpeting or paint, etc., all affect us negatively be it via brain malfunctioning or breathing problems or long term inflammation or auto-immune diseases. Because we need other people to change their behaviors to be around us, we are usually disparaged and rarely adequately accommodated. Unless we pass out in front of them, people will not see the effects of their lack of accommodation on us.
That's an good point. I have an invisible disability besides the hearing loss as well. I sometimes have to ask people to bear with me because of it. They are usually very kind and understanding. For the one or two that aren't, well, they just don't stay in my life for very long. I don't ask them them to do anything drastic, just be patient sometimes.

When I stated that the worst disability was self pity, I should have said that I found that to be true for myself because I found that feeling sorry for myself only caused me to hide behind my disability and stop trying to make attempts at doing what I wanted to do. That in itself is disabling. I judged myself as others saw me and not by what I could do to the best of my ability.

Hearing loss isn't tolerated by many I certainly agree with the OP, but like any other disability, it's going to be misunderstood by others who do not have a disabling condition. So the person who has a disability has to try to work to come to terms with what they are dealing with and not let it define them.
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Old 01-20-2016, 03:31 PM
 
95 posts, read 75,700 times
Reputation: 253
I am hearing impaired. I wear 2 bte aids. I have been wearing aids for 25 yrs. There is nothing worst then my daughter mumbles something then when I say what did you say she says forget it mom. That is the wrong answer to say to me she knows it makes me so mad when she does it. now I don't even bother if I don't catch it on the first try.

The kind of hearing loss I have is distorted. All sounds and speech sounds garbled like I am under water. She knows the hair cells died in both of my ears hence the speech regonishtion being so poor.

had a x friend tell another friend of ours that I was faking my hearing loss so I can catch her talking about me? huh?? oh and don't forget that check you get know since your hearing is so bad.

Had my audiologist mail her my last 14 yrs of hearing tests showing my hairing loss over the years an can no longer work with the disablility I know have due to my hearing loss.
1.Menieres disease
A.Vertigo
B.Tinintus
C.hearing loss

2.Verstibular nerve disfunction
A.cant bend over with out falling over
B.cant wash my own hair in the shower unless sitting on shower chair due to the room starts to spin
\ looking up causes me to loose my balance with my eyes closed as trying to wash and condition my hair.

3. No Driving/vertigo attack can happen anytime, any where

4.No more working. this was and still is the hardest thing for me to grasp. I loved my job (nursing) it was a job I was good at even though I couldn't hear I can read lips very well.

I was told I would have to file for SSDI since I worked all my life full time for 37 yrs. I was devastated but I did as told and filed for SSDI and received my award letter 98 days later saying that I am disabled due to my menieres. it is what it is. I still wish I could still work but had to retire at the age of 55.
thanks for listening
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Old 01-20-2016, 05:13 PM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 3,174,500 times
Reputation: 8464
Disabilities do define people. If hearing loss makes you become a hermit, it changes who you are. If you have a combination of disabilities that nobody understands, and it makes you lose a major job opportunity that would have led to a brilliant career, that changes who you are too. Being in that career might have changed your whole life, and made you a different person. Not being in it likewise changes your whole life and makes you a different person. But the one thing everyone can try to do is make the best of their situation. The time you spend as a hermit or a janitor, you might think creative thoughts during that time, and end up inventing something that changes the world. So, when disabilities define you, don't let the definition stop there. Keep refining it, working on ways to make it a clearer and more positive definition.
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Old 01-20-2016, 06:13 PM
 
11,270 posts, read 8,439,906 times
Reputation: 20472
I've always been drawn to the hearing impaired, for some reason. Even as a small child I would play with another preschooler and I guess I never thought of him as different. He couldn't hear me but he played with me anyway. His mother wanted to take me home. He had never played with anyone before.

We have a few hearing impaired people where I work. Good peeps.
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Old 01-20-2016, 06:22 PM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 3,174,500 times
Reputation: 8464
What's the difference between hearing impaired and deaf? If the preschooler couldn't hear you, wouldn't that imply he was deaf?
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Old 01-20-2016, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,745 posts, read 4,221,259 times
Reputation: 6866
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
<snip> I sometimes have to ask people to bear with me because of it. They are usually very kind and understanding. <snip>So the person who has a disability has to try to work to come to terms with what they are dealing with and not let it define them.
This. People with invisible disabilities need to speak up...nicely.

My father still refuses to speak up and tell his health care providers that he cannot hear and he cannot see. So, he always needs someone to accompany him into the examining room and speak up on his behalf.

It took the better part of 30 years before my ex would even try to wear a hearing aid. Don't get me started...

Today I had my hearing checked and received a referral to an ENT. There is no doubt that I have some hearing loss. If someone is speaking to me and I can't understand what she is saying, I tell her I couldn't hear what was said and indicate that she should repeat the sentence. Will I wear a hearing aid if prescribed? Of course.

A few years ago I was mortified when I forgot a simple word or worse, when I substituted an unrelated word for the word that "went missing". It didn't take me too long to learn that most folks were really kind and helpful when I told them I had a "memory problem".

Maybe I approach disabilities differently because I provided legal representation to children with special needs and mentally ill adults who were in locked wards.

BTW, if you are of sound mind, you can adopt strategies that will lessen the effects of your disability. My schizophrenic clients who accused me of "stealing their souls", could not. There but for the grace of God, go I.
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Old 01-20-2016, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Ohio
1,217 posts, read 2,352,672 times
Reputation: 2214
Choosing a "least tolerated" disability is impossible. So many disabilities cannot be seen at a glance. I've had one for the last 15 years and gained empathy for others with all types of disabilities, seen and unseen, they are all around us, all ages, colors, religions.

Intolerance is the disability that causes the most problems. When we overcome intolerance we will have peace in the world.
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