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Old 01-26-2016, 05:27 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,151,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post
Just wondering. Suppose you are single, never married, no kids, and elderly, with no long time friends nearby. Suppose you become incapacitated in some way and cannot advocate for yourself either for a short time or forever. Is there some way to set up a virtual advocate who looks out for you, your money, your resources? Someone to whom you give health care power of attorney, or who finds the best assisted living or nursing home for you when you can't do it yourself? Are there resources for low-income people? Are there resources for people with adequate retirement savings who can pay their way?

I would estimate 5 or 10% of the elderly would fall into this category at some point.
Hold that thought.

And the next question, do you have funding and a business plan?

'nuff said ...
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Old 01-26-2016, 05:28 PM
 
12,825 posts, read 20,151,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
Let me give you the Cliff notes version of how bad it can get. My sister and husband retired and moved to a small town close to a major city. That was 10 years ago and they made a lot of close friends during that time. A couple of months ago he died suddenly. He had managed the finances but was juggling huge credit card debts and a home equity loan. Before the grieving had even started my sister faced bankruptcy and losing the house. She escaped that barely due to insurance but has a very minimal income. The stress set off some hidden and serious medical conditions. She has been in the hospital 5 times in 2 months with high BP, dangerously low potassium and last time a stroke. She needs 3 major surgeries including open heart but the expertise is not available in the nearby city and she will need to go back and forth for a 3 hour trip to a major medical center. There have been 3 trips so far just beginning the evaluation and presurgical planning. Due to the medical issues my sister cannot drive and really cannot even safely live alone. Friends and neighbors have been great but they cannot carry this burden. My wife is trying to avoid a surgery with antibiotics and other remedies so I am not able to travel. My sister has a son and daughter a day's drive away. Both have visited for short periods. The son is trying to arrange a month's worth of leave to help with one of the surgeries. No one myself included has any idea of how to provide the many months of help needed. Her medical team even discussed the possibility of doing nothing; i.e., going home and waiting to die due to stroke, burst aneurysm or other causes. That may happen anyway since they are still trying to decide which initial surgery is least risky and no surgeries will be scheduled for at least a month or two. BTW, my sister just turned 65 and her husband was only a few years older.


This is a long and depressing story. I have no solution to this problem. I post this as a warning to others. When we first retire, we can come up with ambitious plans including moving away from friends, relatives and other support. Maybe that makes sense but thinking and planning for our future health needs is also important. Maybe the brother in law who died suddenly and unexpectedly was the lucky one.
Never, never, never, never retire if you are not financially fit.
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Old 01-26-2016, 06:46 PM
 
14,264 posts, read 24,004,620 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCBaker View Post
Many years ago in Arizona a person could just hang out a shingle and call themselves a fiduciary. After many reports of financial abuse and incompetency the state of Arizona stepped in. Fiduciaries now have to be certified, licensed and bonded. The state has also set maximum fees that a fiduciary can charge for their services.

Just as a reminder, just because a person is a fiduciary and is regulated by the state does NOT mean that the person will act in that manner. As a retired CPA, I get a dozen professional e-mails a week showing licensed attorneys, CPAs, EAs, tax preparers, and the like who have violated their responsibilities (as well as federal and state laws).

I am sorry but seeing how well Arizona regulates other businesses and professions would not give me a warm fuzzy feeling that I am being protected.
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Old 01-26-2016, 07:17 PM
 
6,294 posts, read 4,740,348 times
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Originally Posted by BayAreaHillbilly View Post
Never, never, never, never retire if you are not financially fit.

Turns out the now dead brother in law had a gambling problem that was bigger than suspected.
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Old 01-26-2016, 08:41 PM
Status: "I am Blessed." (set 10 days ago)
 
Location: Spurs country. "Go, Spurs, Go!"
3,417 posts, read 3,972,097 times
Reputation: 8870
Thanks for posting this. I was wondering how and why, at his age, he had huge credit card debts AND a home equity loan.

I am saddened that your sister is going through what she is experiencing. I wish her healing and care for the rest of her years.
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Old 01-26-2016, 09:43 PM
 
Location: Arizona
419 posts, read 658,273 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jlawrence01 View Post
Just as a reminder, just because a person is a fiduciary and is regulated by the state does NOT mean that the person will act in that manner. As a retired CPA, I get a dozen professional e-mails a week showing licensed attorneys, CPAs, EAs, tax preparers, and the like who have violated their responsibilities (as well as federal and state laws).

I am sorry but seeing how well Arizona regulates other businesses and professions would not give me a warm fuzzy feeling that I am being protected.
You have only quoted part of my previous post, so perhaps you missed the part where I wrote: As in hiring any professional, you need to interview and check references of any potential fiduciary you wish to hire.

I worked as an accountant in Arizona for real estate and land developers the last 20 yrs. of my career. So, I too have seen my share of unscrupulous activity amongst many professionals. I can mention some high profile names but not allowed to do so on this forum Crooks are out there in all arenas of our society.

I mentioned the state of Arizona stepping in to put some controls in place to attempt to make it harder to take advantage of elderly people. Do the controls stop every crook out there? No, but it is much better than before the controls were implemented. Do people get ripped off from their own family members? Absolutely, it happens quite frequently. Nothing out there to protect those people.

Should we stop hiring attorneys, CPA's, financial advisors, roofers contractors, housekeepers, etc., etc., etc. because most of them are crooks? Of course not because most are not crooks. IMO, that's why it is so important to get your plans in place while you are still capable of making your own choices.
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Old 01-27-2016, 04:11 AM
 
38,239 posts, read 14,941,272 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCBaker View Post
Should we stop hiring attorneys, CPA's, financial advisors, roofers contractors, housekeepers, etc., etc., etc. because most of them are crooks? Of course not because most are not crooks. IMO, that's why it is so important to get your plans in place while you are still capable of making your own choices.
If only more of us took this to heart.

I can't tell you how many people I've asked, "What were your plans for this time of your life?" and gotten the answer, "I never planned to live this long."
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Old 01-27-2016, 08:38 AM
 
2,635 posts, read 3,377,645 times
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My grandfather lived in an assisted living facility for several years. His choice, as he didn't want to move out of state to be closer to family who could care for him. While my mother did all of his bill paying etc.., she was also the intermediary with his lawyer. His lawyer was a local man who for years had assisted many of the elderly folks in his community with Estate/tax issues and acted as a power of attorney for many who were alone or didn't have family involved. On the surface, he was a kind and friendly man and all the older folks loved him.

My Mom noticed that he did very poorly with my grandfather's taxes, making so many errors that she spent more time correcting them and trying to get him to fix them than it would have taken for her to have done them herself. She would have dropped the lawyer, but that's who my grandfather wanted. And the lawyer billed for everything.... even correcting his own mistakes.

And then a distant elderly wealthy cousin, who also lived in the assisted living wing of my grandfather's home, passed away. The lawyer (her POA and Trustee) distributed her very modest estate...... basically, no money left. This was a woman who owned multiple house, apartment buildings, etc... and had a lot of money. My mother kept writing to the lawyer asking for details on where all the money went. Never got any documentation, never got any explanation other than..... "nursing home expenses". My mother knew very well that was a lie, as she did all of my grandfather's assisted living finances and his were more expensive than my cousin's, and never could have eaten up all of her $$.

The lawyer had robbed her blind.

My mother called/wrote to this lawyer on and off for a couple years, and got no where. She lived far away, had many other stressors in her life and no help from her siblings, and finally gave up.

That lawyer became governor of a small US state on the coast. I kid you not. And he fit right in.
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Old 01-30-2016, 06:07 AM
 
7,983 posts, read 11,667,446 times
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So people who are alone in life have no one to act in their stead. There is no option. That's what I get here.
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Old 01-30-2016, 10:58 PM
 
2,635 posts, read 3,377,645 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giesela View Post
So people who are alone in life have no one to act in their stead. There is no option. That's what I get here.
Read again.
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