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Old 02-05-2016, 03:36 PM
 
Location: Near Manito
19,520 posts, read 20,905,707 times
Reputation: 13855

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LS35a View Post
I'm a man and when I tell people I'm retired less than half of them ask what I'm retired from.

So... another example of a woman picking a fight over nothing. Good God, get over yourselves.
And soon we'll have a female President who complains about glass ceilings.

Honestly, the hypocrisy of politicized feminists is truly breathtaking sometimes. They have certainly achieved equality with men in that unfortunate area.
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Old 02-05-2016, 04:51 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Beach
1,499 posts, read 1,190,426 times
Reputation: 3790
When we have 50% representation in Congress and Boardrooms we will have equality. The misogyny on this board is revealing.
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Old 02-05-2016, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,365 posts, read 3,700,708 times
Reputation: 4105
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
I like our eye doctor, the guy who gives us our eye exams every year. He diagnosed a detachment, which we are watching, but which does not seem to be progressing. I went in today for a checkup. While he was looking in my eyes, he asked me about DH, whom he also treats. He asked me what he did before he retired, and I told him.

I couldn't help noticing that he didn't ask me what I did before I retired! I wonder why not?

Most of us female baby boomers had careers of one sort or another. Why didn't he think to ask me?

I'm not angry, but I guess I feel slightly slighted as if my work is automatically devalued in some way.

Maybe it is just me? How would you feel?
My Dr did not ask me what I did before I retired. The info did not seem to relate to the exam and talked about out items.
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Old 02-05-2016, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,888 posts, read 25,327,549 times
Reputation: 26385
I'm curious. How old is the eye doc? If he was older than me, it's sort of what I would expect. But it would surprise me if he was 30something.
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Old 02-05-2016, 10:33 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,869 posts, read 14,377,315 times
Reputation: 30751
I don't want to bash my doc; he's good. I think he is a kind person. I just rated his business highly in a survey. So, I am not angry, not irritated, not wanting to trash the guy. And I really don't care what his wife does, so why would I ask?

It is interesting to me that most of the guys think this is nothing; many of the women respond with their own stories.

So, I think my post has a point. I am not sure how we got going on being invisible, but it I guess it does apply to this discussion. To men, the work of women does seem to be invisible, many times. Since many of us value ourselves by what we do for a living, and how well we do it, I guess that means that to some guys (certainly not all) women do not count for as much as most guys do. We generally make less, and we often work in the service industries. And, many of us have not worked for as many years before retirement, as we might have taken some years off to raise a young family.

However, that does not mean that our work is not important to our culture or to us or to the financial welfare of our families.

My original post was not political, and I wasn't referencing any political thing by my question.

I like men, by the way. Always have. I like talking to them and being with them. So I am not antagonistic to the opposite sex, and I still appreciate a well turned out guy with a twinkle in his eye.

To the female vets and service people who posted, you have my admiration and respect. Thank you for all you do and represent. I mean this sincerely. I appreciate the points of view you posted about.

I do think my original post hit a nerve though. And I think the ongoing discussion is good. I am enjoying reading the posts.
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Old 02-05-2016, 11:22 PM
 
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
4,404 posts, read 5,925,325 times
Reputation: 7121
Not prying, but I wonder if he thought you are an affluent couple and the husband MUST surely have had some impressive professional position. Maybe your husband himself has impressed the doc. But it is very weird that he would ask YOU, while not asking you the same question. Because obviously your career doesn't matter, you've probably just glommed on to your husband's big salary and perks. :-)
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Old 02-06-2016, 07:30 AM
 
6,623 posts, read 3,748,154 times
Reputation: 13693
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTGal View Post
Just there for an eye exam and the doc is asking about your DH's past career? Just seems odd that a doc would be asking that, not unless you are in there so regularly that you are comfortable with each other.

Also have to wonder why he was asking about the DH when you were the one he was examining, kind of strange
Seems like he was either making small talk or trying to have good bedside manner and be more personable. Nothing wrong with that.
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Old 02-06-2016, 07:34 AM
 
6,623 posts, read 3,748,154 times
Reputation: 13693
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
I don't want to bash my doc; he's good. I think he is a kind person. I just rated his business highly in a survey. So, I am not angry, not irritated, not wanting to trash the guy. And I really don't care what his wife does, so why would I ask?

It is interesting to me that most of the guys think this is nothing; many of the women respond with their own stories.

So, I think my post has a point. I am not sure how we got going on being invisible, but it I guess it does apply to this discussion. To men, the work of women does seem to be invisible, many times. Since many of us value ourselves by what we do for a living, and how well we do it, I guess that means that to some guys (certainly not all) women do not count for as much as most guys do. We generally make less, and we often work in the service industries. And, many of us have not worked for as many years before retirement, as we might have taken some years off to raise a young family.

However, that does not mean that our work is not important to our culture or to us or to the financial welfare of our families.

My original post was not political, and I wasn't referencing any political thing by my question.

I like men, by the way. Always have. I like talking to them and being with them. So I am not antagonistic to the opposite sex, and I still appreciate a well turned out guy with a twinkle in his eye.

To the female vets and service people who posted, you have my admiration and respect. Thank you for all you do and represent. I mean this sincerely. I appreciate the points of view you posted about.

I do think my original post hit a nerve though. And I think the ongoing discussion is good. I am enjoying reading the posts.
I am a woman and totally get it. The dr. automatically thought of you as an extension of the husband. Like a child would be. This is an attitude that is common throughout our society, though it is less so now than it was years ago.

There is a chance he was asking for some reason related to your husband. Maybe he said something, or tried to tell the dr. what to do (my brother does that to professionals), so the dr wanted to know what he had done in his working life to give advice to the eye doctor or something. But most likely it was to categorize your family, by what the husband did.

The truth is that although most women work, it is still the man who will likely be the main breadwinner or the one who is the professional. This is changing with younger generations, but it's still true, esp. with older couples.
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Old 02-06-2016, 09:16 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,398 posts, read 7,923,957 times
Reputation: 53518
I would not be offended if someone didn't ask me about what I did for a living before I retired. Not only would I not be offended I'd appreciate it not coming up in conversation.

I'm trying to forget about it and the miserable life that went along with going to work everyday. While I loved my job before it turned to crap, I've always hated doing the work that went along with the work place. I can't even bring myself to go visit yet.

I had to drive past it yesterday on the way to an appointment and just driving that route again filled me with anxiety, so no I don't care to ever discuss it again.

I'm so much happier with that life style behind me and I'd just as soon forget all about it thank you.
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Old 02-06-2016, 10:58 AM
 
11,133 posts, read 8,540,714 times
Reputation: 28104
Life is too short to worry about nonsense like this. Let it go.
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