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Old 02-07-2016, 09:53 AM
 
2,496 posts, read 2,531,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyMeAK View Post
Yes, seriously. If a person can't find a soul mate, it signals a serious personality issues. They are not always visible to the owner, though, so your doubt is understandable.
Or, it is the simple math of there being more females than males.

Whether married or single, it is the responsibility of each to save for their future needs, IMO.

To the OP: I've met several people who spent like crazy until they hit their early 50s. Then they got serious. While they won't have what long-time savers and investors will, they did okay.

Not what I would recommend, but it can be done.
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Old 02-07-2016, 09:57 AM
 
Location: Idaho
1,454 posts, read 1,155,436 times
Reputation: 5492
My reply in blue

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giesela View Post
Expensive children are a choice and you get some tax relief for them.

Having children is a choice for most people but not all and the tax relief 'pales in comparison to the expense of raising children' whether with one or two income.

People who are coupled really don't get what its like to be on your own. No safety net, no one to share decisions with, no other pay check to fall back on, social exclusion.

What makes you think that married people don't get 'it'? Sometimes, 'it' is the reasons why people get married ;-)

Speaking of taxes, according to a 2006 Forbes.com article, "The married couple also gets some relief on both federal and Social Security taxes, thanks to the slightly lower tax rates associated with joint filing. They pay out a combined 29% of their salaries, compared with the 35% the single person pays. For now, the marriage penalty is virtually eliminated so that the higher-earning spouse can protect his or her income from higher taxes.

This is not true for many married couples like the example I cited in a previous post. This article gives a complete and very detailed analysis of the marriage penalty or bonus for people with no children or with 1 or 2.

Understanding the Marriage Penalty and Marriage Bonus | Tax Foundation

Quote:
With no children, marriage bonuses can be up to 7 percent of a couple’s total income, and penalties can be as large as 4 percent of a couple’s income.

With one child, marriage bonuses can be as large as 20 percent of a couple’s income, and penalties can be as large as 12 percent of a couple’s income.

With two children, marriage bonuses can be as large as 10 percent of a couple’s income, and penalties can be as large as 12 percent of a couple’s income.
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Old 02-07-2016, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Idaho
1,454 posts, read 1,155,436 times
Reputation: 5492
Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyMeAK View Post
Yes, seriously. If a person can't find a soul mate, it signals a serious personality issues.

I disagree both with regards to finding a 'soul mate' and the implied notion that single people have personality issues!

I have been happily married for over 38 years. Yes, love was the most important reason why I got married but I have never considered my husband my 'soul mate' & find the soulmate notion being unrealistic.

People stays singles for many reasons (unlucky in love, too independent, too 'choosy', experience bad family marriage examples etc). IMO, none of these reasons can be considered personality issues. There are plenty of well-adjusted and happy singles in this world, and there are plenty of miserable, unhappy married people who are 'wronged' by their supposedly 'soul mates'.



Yes, this is why the mother should be more wise. Instead of involving her single daughter into boring conversations about retirement ...she should encourage and maybe even help her to expand her circle of friends, acquaintances, partners in extracurriculum activities.

I consider myself a very wise mother. I advise my single daughter on career, financial matters (savings, retirement planning) but leave it up to her with regards to her personal life. A parent can give some suggestions to a socially awkward or shy daughter but should also respect their personal boundaries and life preference. I certainly don't want to be a pushy, preachy or controlling mother.

.
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Old 02-07-2016, 11:10 AM
 
26,591 posts, read 52,303,280 times
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Each of us makes our own way in the world... with age often comes wisdom based on experience.

People are free to accept or reject advice.

I honestly know people that NEVER thought they would make it to retirement... they lived for the moment and some have had fantastic lives.

Others have meticulously planned... deferring to the time when they can enjoy life, follow their passions, etc. and then their world turns upside down... medical conditions... disaster strikes.

Some just go through life and come out smelling like a rose... right time at the right place... for others... life is always a struggle and they simply get by...

Your plan may not be her plan... met a few 30 somethings that are not particularly motivated... expect a big inheritance will come through down the road.

Plenty have been dragged down through marriage and most that have experienced this will do anything to avoid a repeat.

Last edited by Ultrarunner; 02-07-2016 at 01:28 PM..
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Old 02-07-2016, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Washington state
450 posts, read 373,780 times
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OP's daughter is already way ahead with a pension, many of us don't have one so count herself lucky.

She's only 30 wouldn't rule out her getting married or starting a family. Marriage isn't necessarily better though. My MIL was never married mid 30s and ended up marrying a man nearly 20 years her senior and while she's a beY@$!ch...being tied to a rapidly aging old man who needs her to keep on working to bring in some cash and also to drive him around...well I'm sure it's no picnic.
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Old 02-07-2016, 05:38 PM
 
1,293 posts, read 949,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by branDcalf View Post
Or, it is the simple math of there being more females than males.
.
This is the trick: only after 35 males start to die out, giving up to women. American FactFinder - Results
Before that, there is more males than females. So the OP's daughter still has 5 years to catch her gold fish. But if mom will interfere with these dull retirement matters, she never will.
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Old 02-07-2016, 06:16 PM
 
Location: R.I.
979 posts, read 606,070 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ansible90 View Post
Quoting this because it bears repeating.
Ditto!! My mother was age 21 and 7 months pregnant with my sister when her husband died. From going through that difficult experience and struggling to support herself and my sister on low wage factory work, my mother drilled into my and my sister's heads that we absolutely needed to pursue professions that would provide the ability to be self supporting in the event we should remain single or experience spousal death at a young age as she had or divorce. Thankfully we were both smart enough to take our wise mother's advise. My sister pursued a teaching career, and me nursing, and at age 44 I became a widow and 3 years later my sister would experience the same at age 53.
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Old 02-07-2016, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Cochise County, AZ
1,318 posts, read 835,236 times
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OP, since you seem very well informed of your daughter's financial situation, can you show her with numbers how contributing to a pension plan or even a simple IRA would reduce her current income tax? Sometimes seeing those kind of numbers is enough to convince a person to start retirement planning.
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Old 02-07-2016, 10:33 PM
 
1,734 posts, read 1,949,697 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyMeAK View Post
In my not very humble opinion, you should care more about her finding a soul mate, not about her retirement. If she will feel lonely, she would probably never retire, or worse. Don't make an old lady out of her before time. Every time you want to start retirement fund conversation, shut yourself up and kick her out of her house to go and meet people.
Wow. Just Wow.


By that I mean: this is one of the more ignorant comments I have read in recent times.


It's right up there with a C-D question on another thread, from a 40 YO female poster, widow, who works part time at minimum wage and lives in a house that used to belong jointly to her and Mr., prior to his death. Mr. left her $100K.


Said 40 YO minimum wage widow moved in her "boyfriend"/"fiancé". He has advised her to sink her $100K into the house to pay it off. He has no assets, other than a mortgaged house of his own which is "not as nice" as her $100K house. He is a real catch, because he does NOT make minimum wage.


So, she is left with no liquid assets and he gets 50% of the house once he walks out, in the community property state.


She has not run a criminal background or credit check on him because she LOOOOOVVVVVES him, he is her SOULMATE!!!!


BusyMeAK, in terms of ignorance, your comment ties with the self-justifying saga cited above.
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Old 02-08-2016, 12:48 AM
 
1,293 posts, read 949,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
I married late in life (age 27) and was married for nine and a half years. That means I've been single (divorced) for 35 years (from age 36 to age 71) - long enough so that it feels at times like I'm a single "never-married" retiree. So while technically I do not qualify to answer the thread question, I will do so anyway because I think I'm close enough.

I think a single person plans for retirement exactly like a married couple does. True, the married couple has some advantages tax wise, and they have another big advantage if they are a two-earner household, but that doesn't fundamentally change planning for retirement. That is because people have to plan given their income level and their spending habits as well as the specifics of their job situation, and all that remains true for couples and for singles.

In one respect the single person has fewer complications in making choices; just think about the whole complex spousal benefit issue with Social Security. If the single person has a pension, all those options about survivors benefits purchased through reductions in the primary pension amount are simply moot.

Your single friend being "fearful of every bump in the road" may be more the effect of her own personality than the effect of being single, it seems to me.
You can call me ignorant, if you wish, but you look at the surface (retirement funds) while I'm trying to look a bit deeper. The question is - why a mother of a 30 years old independent woman worries about her retirement? Is she too controlling, too caring, or both? If she cares about her daughter's well-being, the right partner is more important just now. If she gets one, she will start thinking about future. If not, who knows?
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