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Old 02-06-2016, 09:14 AM
 
Location: A State of Mind
5,251 posts, read 2,096,969 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC View Post
I'm sitting here wondering why the OP wrote about the single, never-married women.

I was married for 21 years. I am divorced almost 33 years. I got nothing out of divorce except for a little more than half of our house value. I used most of it to put a down payment on a condominium. That was 1982/83. I did not receive half of his pension or half of his SS. I received nothing from the secret (to me) account he had. Thanks to my divorce attorney who thought I should be "just fine" with the job I had. However, at the time, companies were not laying off, downsizing, etc. I was in an extremely emotional state having learned some very ugly information during time of divorce. I just wanted out. Get me away from him. I was just 40 and far from thinking about retirement, etc. And no close friend who could help me get through it. I felt like I was tossed into the deep end.

My retirement is far from grand. He, however, has done quite well.

Before those with the grand retirement funds point a finger and tell me how I screwed up, I invite you to take a walk in my shoes.

So what the OP is writing about does not just involve the "never married."
I just showed up here and wondered that about the topic, too.

Your story sounds more than awful... Geeze...probably many have similar stories.

I did not go through that, not marrying, realizing I did not want that. I never liked the idea of giving up my independence. Those I knew were kind of juvenile, selfish guys, anyway. Sometimes I can be envious of those who seem really together, doing DIY projects, having a mutual, mature and loving relationship ...a few seem to have that.
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Old 02-06-2016, 10:03 AM
 
26,591 posts, read 52,392,336 times
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There are of course Mister Moms.... where the wife is the breadwinner... has the business dinners and travels for work...

Two areas I have come across this is professionals in their 30's where the wife has the big corporate job or registered nurses where the husband takes car or the kids and the wife has the job with benefits covering the family... all the nurses I know with stay at home husbands are from the Phillipines...

Mom always worked part time jobs after the kids were well into school age... her social security was $600... Dad kept working into his 70's and to a few weeks before he passed away... said Mom gave up her career and he wanted to maximize his social security for her... it's a little over 2k that she receives... which is a huge difference.

Last edited by Ultrarunner; 02-06-2016 at 10:33 AM..
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Old 02-06-2016, 10:42 AM
 
11,188 posts, read 8,579,925 times
Reputation: 28207
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunGrins View Post
Most retirees I know were couples with two incomes and gained some financial leverage over time. I have one friend who has remained single and just retired but she is fearful of every bump in the road. How does a single-for-life person plan for retirement? How different from a couple?
How? The same as everyone else. Start a 401K, put cash away in a Roth IRA, make investments, look for additional revenue streams to increase savings, etc.
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Old 02-06-2016, 11:01 AM
 
Location: East Coast
2,903 posts, read 4,590,310 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DelightfulNYC View Post
Sounds easy. I mean a man with a SAHW and five kids has to do it one one income.
Do you know many 30-ish men with a stay-at-home-wife and five kids? I certainly don't. For that matter, almost every 30-ish guy I know has a wife who works...with or without children.
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Old 02-06-2016, 11:08 AM
 
26,591 posts, read 52,392,336 times
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No... can't say I know any couples with 5 kids anywhere.

The most I know have 3 kids... stay at home Mom or Dad

Do people really have 5 kids today?

They must be either really well off or have nothing with government support.
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Old 02-06-2016, 11:09 AM
 
Location: East Coast
2,903 posts, read 4,590,310 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Being a landlord (landlady) isn't for everyone, especially if you're living in the same house. Sounds like easy money, but the income isn't really "passive." Consider carefully the responsibility it entails, unless you -- OP and daddy -- plan to manage things for her. Signed, "landlady of ten years and never again."
Good point. My mother-in-law owned a duplex. Lived in one unit, rented out the other. She paid a real estate company to collect the rent, but still LOTS of headaches...especially as she got older. I learned that I NEVER wanted to be a landlady.
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Old 02-06-2016, 11:12 AM
 
Location: East Coast
2,903 posts, read 4,590,310 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
No... can't say I know any couples with 5 kids anywhere.

The most I know have 3 kids... stay at home Mom or Dad

Do people really have 5 kids today?

They must be either really well off or have nothing with government support.
One of my nephews is expecting Baby No. 5 in a few months. They don't have a pot to pi$$ in, as the saying goes. They don't even own a house, they've rented their entire marriage. Currently, he makes a very good salary...but they spend it as fast as it comes in. :::shaking my head:::
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Old 02-06-2016, 11:13 AM
 
26,591 posts, read 52,392,336 times
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Being a housing provider is a job... no question about it.

A lot of people get headaches from their job...

For those that have the aptitude... it is rewarding... building equity, having a separate independent source of equity and appreciation are the top 3 plus perks that come with owning a business...

I would go one step further and say there are some people that stay renters for life...
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Old 02-06-2016, 11:21 AM
 
26,591 posts, read 52,392,336 times
Reputation: 20439
Quote:
Originally Posted by LibraGirl123 View Post
One of my nephews is expecting Baby No. 5 in a few months. They don't have a pot to pi$$ in, as the saying goes. They don't even own a house, they've rented their entire marriage. Currently, he makes a very good salary...but they spend it as fast as it comes in. :::shaking my head:::
Here are a few of people that thought they would always be single and childless.

Seems couples are having kids later... getting together later... my sister in law was 41 when her child was born... other friends were 50 when their children were born... interesting story there.

Of those I work with... mid 30's is very common for the first child some are single or not married...

The couple with their first child at 50...

They went to Highschool together and were always friends... each went their separate way to opposite ends of the country... she became a nurse and he a pharmacist...

They connected in the their late 30's through his mom... neither had married.

To make a long story short... they did marry and planned on having kids... even set up a college fund... after 10 years of trying... they decided it just was not going to happen for them... she even told him to take the college fund and buy the Mercedes SUV he liked...

At age 49 they find themselves pregnant... not only pregnant, but pregnant with TRIPLETS.

She could not have been happier... he not so much... actually said they will be in their 70 with three kids on college.

Sadly... the grandparents are all gone... pretty much on their own as far as family...

The kids are just starting school and she still could not be happier... and she knows kids... 10 years as supervisor for labor and delivery... seeing all these happy families welcoming newborns...

Sorry for going off topic...

It does seem we have more never married retirees than ever before... kids or no kids... marriage is no longer a requirement.
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Old 02-06-2016, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Jamestown, NY
7,841 posts, read 7,345,965 times
Reputation: 13779
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
No... can't say I know any couples with 5 kids anywhere.

The most I know have 3 kids... stay at home Mom or Dad

Do people really have 5 kids today?

They must be either really well off or have nothing with government support.
Occasionally you get a blended family where hers, his and maybe theirs adds up to five but even that's not real common, and often the kids are shuffling in and out between parental households anyways.
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