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Old 02-26-2016, 10:59 PM
 
14 posts, read 12,044 times
Reputation: 31

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Quote:
Originally Posted by shamrock4 View Post
It sounds like your great-uncle wants you to inherit this money so it will benefit you and also your daughter. Sorry if I missed this, but are you a single mother? No spouse to profit from this money or is it a spouse he likes?

The reason I ask is your great-uncle must be very aware that your brother's wife, whom he does not like, could also profit from an inheritance. Technically an inheritance is for the heir, but if one penny is used for mutual benefit the spouse could make a claim on the money in case of divorce.

I have heard estate lawyers say a big part of their business now is preventing in-laws from getting their hands on money their child will inherit, particularly with a high divorce rate.

And yes, several years in a nursing home at $80k a year or more may make this problem disappear. Too bad your parents even brought this up.
I am not a single mother, he gets along very well with my husband. my husband has gone through this similar situation when his father passed away and so he has been very helpful in reminding me that A-things can change B- you're not the one being crazy and C - he is still alive stop them from talking about it
He told me he wants nothing to do with it that it's 100% my thing my decision as it was for him when his father passed, I never asked him for anything.. Extra or even brought it up as some exciting thing ugh he was so sad at the passing of his father anyhow I just let him do what he wanted with his fathers inheritance and trusted him that he'd be respectful about it. His siblings didn't talk for a year and now they talk again... Different situation as his siblings had addiction issues and other baggage..
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Old 02-26-2016, 11:16 PM
 
14 posts, read 12,044 times
Reputation: 31
[quote=biscuitmom;43163371]Why is this in the Retirement forum?[/

OH! That was an accident lol it was really late at night when I posted and must've changed the category somehow ... I suppose it is someone's hard work? Sorry total newb 1st post on here ever
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Old 02-26-2016, 11:19 PM
 
10,827 posts, read 8,103,448 times
Reputation: 17067
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby242250 View Post
I specifically asked him if maybe he could leave somethings for them and he said no that he felt confident in his decisions.
There's no right or wrong answer much less a solution to your dilemma but the above makes me wonder why you suggested he leave something to your siblings while at the same time you resist the idea of sharing with them. What is the difference?

If I were in the same circumstance as you describe (and I've been in a similar though not the same), I'd happily share the spoils with my siblings. That's not to say you're wrong in feeling conflicted. But only you know where that conflict is coming from, you certainly haven't given enough information here for us to know.

Further, I'm all in with those who pointed out that it's not over until your great-uncle dies.
He may or may not include you in his final will and he may or may not have anything left to give you. Which might be the best way to respond to your siblings if/when they bring up the topic.
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Old 02-26-2016, 11:53 PM
 
14 posts, read 12,044 times
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[quote=biscuitmom;43163462]There's no right or wrong answer much less a solution to your dilemma but the above makes me wonder why you suggested he leave something to your siblings while at the same time you resist the idea of sharing with them. What is the difference?

I'm glad you asked this because then I asked myself and took a minute to think about it..honestly i mainly had my one brother in mind I could tell that my brother would be hurt when he finds out (which obviously he knows now) I felt like maybe it would be nicer if something came from my great uncle rather than coming from "me" from him after he passes.. and you are right there are many more details to this story(originally I went to my parents and told them I wanted to include my brother somehow) another detail is where I felt like I had a heavy secret and knowing my family that they'd be so mad at me not telling them, they actually ARe mad at me that my parents told them and not myself...countless hours driving to see him he is about 6-7 car ride away from me and I go frequently with my toddler even when she was a baby which anyone with a baby knows that can turn a 6 hour ride into 9 or they can end up sleeping lol ...also my brother was going to spend a summer helping him and changed his mind at the last minute which he has brought up to me before and maybe he is bitter about that I'm not 100% sure anyways It might sound silly written out but the reality of it is a lot harder, I love my family a lot I wanted to just not tell them until it happened but that's too late now I already feel different when we see each other. Everyone's advice and opinions do help a lot both pro split and anti split I think it's important to not make any rash decisions and as I said in my original post that he is still alive and I just need to keep telling them that.
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Old 02-27-2016, 12:10 AM
 
10,827 posts, read 8,103,448 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby242250 View Post
I'm glad you asked this because then I asked myself and took a minute to think about it..honestly i mainly had my one brother in mind I could tell that my brother would be hurt when he finds out (which obviously he knows now) I felt like maybe it would be nicer if something came from my great uncle rather than coming from "me" from him after he passes..
Yes, that was what struck me, the emphasis on that one brother. To me, someone on the outside, it looks like you want to lay the blame on your great-uncle for not including him in the inheritance. Since the inheritance is a future event that may or may not happen, it makes me wonder what is going on right now between you and your brother that you're trying to avoid facing.
Just imo, this isn't about your inheritance at all, it's about you and your brother. Figure that out and the inheritance issue will solve itself. Otherwise, long after your great-uncle is gone, you'll still be dealing with your brother issues. FWIW, I had those too and at age 67 I've made peace with my brother, he's my greatest ally. I wish you well.
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Old 02-27-2016, 01:30 AM
 
6,940 posts, read 7,338,710 times
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Quote:
Why is this in the Retirement forum?
Why are any number of threads in the retirement forum. I've seen threads muuuuch more questionable than this one.
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Old 02-27-2016, 01:57 AM
 
Location: Seattle & Seal Beach
727 posts, read 526,789 times
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Your story seems a little off the mark. What do you mean by, "appointed you 50%?" You inherit 50% of everything he owns? He has named you as executor of 50% of everything? Who gets or is executor of the other 50%? Are you supposed to split his personal belongings with the other 50% appointee?

Have you seen a copy of the will and/or trust?

At first you state one of your siblings is freaking out. Later, without saying how many siblings you have, you include all siblings as thinking this isn't fair. So is it one? Or all of them?

Why would your parents stir things up by prematurely informing your siblings of something that doesn't concern them, unless you're under 18? How would they know what this "distant" relative put in his will?

Sounds made up.
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Old 02-27-2016, 06:01 AM
 
14 posts, read 12,044 times
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theres not much to the story really 50% is 50%..Yes I have seen the will, I have met with the lawyer, he has had both of us sign off on many things as beneficiary even outside of the will. It has started with the one brother creating and stirring trouble up with the other ones (I am 1 out of 5) he does have deeper issues before any of this was talked about against me says things like "I'm already the one with a house and nice cars" ...but both my husband work full time.. Where his wife just stopped collecting unemployment and he hisself only works a couple hours a week. My parents didn't mean to stir it up they told them with the intention on preventing them from being more hurt done the road.. I am not under 18 I just talk to my parents. At first I was upset really upset with them for saying anything but my father kept telling me that if they find out 10 years from now that you knew this whole time they will just be so offended..which I can now see they would be right..I assure you this isn't made up, I just didn't want to share every detail just make my point ask my question and get other people's opions
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Old 02-27-2016, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Idaho
2,514 posts, read 2,297,022 times
Reputation: 5262
Sounds like your siblings are a bunch of greedy **** (you fill in the words). Tell them to at least wait till he passes before crying like babies. Then do what you want. But my advice is always to follow the last will of the person who is leaving the estate. There may be reasons he is doing what he is doing and it was HIS money.
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Great State of Texas
86,093 posts, read 72,701,554 times
Reputation: 27571
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby242250 View Post
I have been appointed 50% of my great uncles everything..He is still living and I feel awful even having to vent about this, but now my siblings have found out that this is taking place and one of them is really freaking out over it and declaring that he deserves half of it and or that it should be divided up between all the siblings...My response continues to be " THe man is still alive he has every right to do what he wants with his belongings and money that he has worked his whole life for, I'm not talking about this anymore, he could fall inlove and change his will tomorrow" Basically I just feel pressure that because he is a distant relative, that question of " why did he choose me?" Comes in and then with my siblings all up in arms about it, I'm starting to feel terrible. Should I just tell them I will split it up when and if the time comes? I don't want this drama but at the same time, there is a reason why he did pick me to handle things. I specifically asked him if maybe he could leave somethings for them and he said no that he felt confident in his decisions. I don't understand why they feel so entitled. Plus out of all my siblings only 2 of them have ever even met him before. I'm not sure what to do, my gut is telling me to just let them freak out but then the heart in me doesn't want the family to be divided all because someone left me money and not them. An honor to be chosen and a beautiful potential blessing is becoming a heavy burden and worse of all I just visited him and I am going to be so sad when his time comes. any advise on this would be greatly appreciated as I choose not to discuss this with anyone as it makes my stomach turn.
Tell your siblings to call him up and talk to him, not you.
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