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Old 02-27-2016, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
3,536 posts, read 2,231,462 times
Reputation: 10579

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Speaking as someone who has put great thought into who will inherit my assets when I die, I can say that you should ABSOLUTELY NOT violate your Uncle's wishes by giving HIS money to people who he obviously didn't want to get it. To have people defy my wishes and change my plans would be the worst thing I could ever imagine. Just follow his wishes. Period.
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:37 PM
 
5,425 posts, read 3,445,259 times
Reputation: 13698
I strongly agree with JustMike77 at post #71.
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:45 PM
 
14 posts, read 12,008 times
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Justmike77 I'm not sure if it's the way your wrote that or the truth in the spirit behind it, or both but that just made me feel like if I called him and told him all of this, that he'd feel so disrespected by them and me for talking of it! I had a pretty good chat today with my brother and I think I was able to nip it, at least for the time being! anyways, thanks for your post!
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Old 02-28-2016, 01:18 AM
 
Location: Seattle some of the time now.
727 posts, read 524,103 times
Reputation: 1238
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby242250 View Post
theres not much to the story really 50% is 50%..Yes I have seen the will, I have met with the lawyer, he has had both of us sign off on many things as beneficiary even outside of the will. It has started with the one brother creating and stirring trouble up with the other ones (I am 1 out of 5) he does have deeper issues before any of this was talked about against me says things like "I'm already the one with a house and nice cars" ...but both my husband work full time.. Where his wife just stopped collecting unemployment and he hisself only works a couple hours a week. My parents didn't mean to stir it up they told them with the intention on preventing them from being more hurt done the road.. I am not under 18 I just talk to my parents. At first I was upset really upset with them for saying anything but my father kept telling me that if they find out 10 years from now that you knew this whole time they will just be so offended..which I can now see they would be right..I assure you this isn't made up, I just didn't want to share every detail just make my point ask my question and get other people's opions
Okay then I apologize for being so insensitive. I've been in different but similar situations as yours. I can tell you any amount of inheritance can cause people to change.

I have 5 siblings & like you, I am the one who has been the most responsible & has a stable lifestyle.

My parents had next to nothing but my father put his 401k account with me as the beneficiary. While my father lay dying of cancer in my home one sibling called me every day & reassured herself that I "would do the right thing" with the money, meaning divide it equally between us. She refused to talk to or come see him.

I handed the check over to another sibling who is a bookkeeper & who divided all money remaining according to each sibling's expenses as they related to our parents' things. For example, one sibling stole our dad's car, he received no cash.

When our aunt died, she left everything to each of us equally. And we all received a very tidy sum. Still, there was squabbling, accusations of it not being equal, one sibling asking another for a loan prior to any distributions made. One wanted to take the car. It was quite embarrassing really. But thanks to our aunt's good foresight, her attorney was the executor & he made sure our aunt's wishes were fulfilled.

I don't think there is any way of avoiding relatives coming out of the woodwork as they say. You are given specific instructions and I agree with others that you should carry them through.

I still think it would have been better if your parents hadn't said anything. I'm glad you & your brother talked. I hope this doesn't continue to stress you out.
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Old 02-28-2016, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Cochise County, AZ
1,317 posts, read 833,634 times
Reputation: 2864
I can remember when my uncle passed away and he had named one of my cousins as executor. His will stated that his assets were to be equally divided between his siblings and their offspring. There was a lot of rancor because my cousin took the full share of his IRA fund. She stated to my father that the money was hers because she had to pay the taxes on the amount she received. Part of the blame for this fiasco is due to the fact that there is a ton of paperwork for multiple beneficiaries, and the lawyer advised her to keep the IRA for herself.
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Old 02-28-2016, 09:01 AM
 
3,758 posts, read 10,633,208 times
Reputation: 6685
Agree with all those who says this is your Uncle's decision, and the best you can do is respect that he has made it. Especially as he has assured you that he is very comfortable and confident with his choice.

Additionally - agree that who knows what may change... depending on your great uncles age, he could have many decades of life left.. and who knows what may happen in that time.

If when your uncle does pass, you remain his heir, and there is something left to inherit - accept it in the spirit that it was intended. He appreciates your thoughtfulness and love, loves your daughter, and gets along well with your husband. He wants your family to do well and is trying in his way to help to ensure that outcome. So - honor that by using any inheritance from him to see to your own financial security (including trusts for your daughter's college). If after that is complete, you have any left over and wish to gift it to one of your siblings (or a charity, or whatever) - know that is what *you* want to do with the money, and honor your great-uncle for giving you the means to make it happen.
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Old 02-28-2016, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,304 posts, read 10,758,877 times
Reputation: 20540
The man isn't even dead yet and they siblings have already lost their minds! You may end up with 5 bucks. Not this $300K they're throwing around. He could become incredibly ill and need nursing care and his funds would disappear quickly then.

Go with your gut. Your siblings sound like ungrateful, jealous people who are nothing but trouble. Sounds like the man made a wise decision to not leave them a penny.
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Old 02-28-2016, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Great State of Texas
86,093 posts, read 72,479,637 times
Reputation: 27565
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby242250 View Post
Justmike77 I'm not sure if it's the way your wrote that or the truth in the spirit behind it, or both but that just made me feel like if I called him and told him all of this, that he'd feel so disrespected by them and me for talking of it! I had a pretty good chat today with my brother and I think I was able to nip it, at least for the time being! anyways, thanks for your post!
But yet that's something you said you might do.

I do agree with justmike77. There's a reason he chose you. There's a reason he didn't split everything up.
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Old 02-28-2016, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Alaska
5,356 posts, read 16,342,402 times
Reputation: 4023
I think you should go with the will, but expect you'll be estranged from your siblings, especially after he passes. My wife is going through something similar, but being the one on the other side. She's not contesting the will though. The history behind it will likely cease all communications with her sibling once everything is settled.
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Old 02-28-2016, 11:32 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,202 posts, read 6,308,074 times
Reputation: 9815
The will doesn't override the name of the beneficiaries of the IRA as one poster wrote. This is why make sure the beneficiaries are named correctly. But if you have to split, then split it after the taxes are paid.
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