U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: Move back near family or stay in relationship?
Move Back near family 26 86.67%
Stay in relationship 4 13.33%
Voters: 30. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-27-2016, 09:43 AM
 
21 posts, read 16,547 times
Reputation: 43

Advertisements

I retired at age 55 & moved a year ago from my family & don't know if I made a mistake. The relationship with my family is not the same even with Skype or calling; it can't compare. I left behind my adult children (35, 33, youngest 23) my grandchildren & my Parents. I know I will never get this time back. Perhaps my move was premature. I struggle with the idea of moving back but the man I am with refuses to move back. Torn up! My family & I are very close but all changed, Holidays, etc.
Do I move back to be close to my Family or stay in a relationship with my BF of 6 years?
He has no relationship with my family (complicated) which makes the distance even worse & I go alone to visit them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-27-2016, 10:25 AM
 
4,477 posts, read 4,737,152 times
Reputation: 9940
Seems to be more of a relationship issue with BF than living away from family.
Did this not occur to you when you moved away?

Are you going to grow to resent BF? Angry with him? Don't deny it. There are control issues. It's inevitable.


Is your family giving you a hard time about being away?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2016, 10:26 AM
 
6,303 posts, read 5,042,575 times
Reputation: 12805
If there is a complicated relationship between your man and your family, I would say ditch the man and find someone that is compatible with all.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2016, 10:27 AM
 
6,303 posts, read 5,042,575 times
Reputation: 12805
It really should not be either or.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2016, 10:33 AM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,183 posts, read 1,338,732 times
Reputation: 6286
So whose idea was it to move in the first place? Who picked the location and why there? And why move at all? How far away are you from your family? What was it that convinced you to move away from your family? Why does your BF refuse to move back?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2016, 10:35 AM
 
21 posts, read 16,547 times
Reputation: 43
I suppose deep within my soul I know there are problems in my relationship. Most likely control. Difficult to see when you are in it. It happens slowly. I do however long to be near my Family. I have a decision to make & suppose I am just scared. Sounds crazy at my age. Thank you all for your input.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2016, 10:39 AM
 
21 posts, read 16,547 times
Reputation: 43
Moved from NY TO FL because of weather, finances, etc. However I followed him... Not my idea. If sitation was different between him & family the move might not be bad but my Children should feel comfortable visiting me and they don't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2016, 10:53 AM
 
Location: SoCal
13,188 posts, read 6,301,958 times
Reputation: 9808
As long as they and I stay in California then it's all fine. My husband moved far away but he kept contact and we visited them often. When telephone became cheap, we call them every week for at least half an hour.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2016, 11:09 AM
 
8,115 posts, read 8,616,186 times
Reputation: 9075
If the choice is between a boyfriend, even one of 6 years, and your own children, the decision is a no-brainer.

I know that you are not married, but wonder if there is some financial incentive for the boyfriend alienating you from your family. Do have property and other assets?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-27-2016, 12:10 PM
 
2,321 posts, read 2,090,028 times
Reputation: 3835
The OP: It sounds like you really want to go back home; if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be posting this. I think you already know what you want to do but maybe just want / feel you need objective opinions, but I feel you instinctively DO want to move back and just need a little "push." Listen to your instincts; we don't know your life. You know the answer already.

You'll do the right thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top