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Old 03-17-2016, 03:10 PM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,257,322 times
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We just moved into our home in August and I started decluttering as I was unpacking then 8 days after closing I had a stroke so the unpacking/decluttering got put on hold until recently. I have 3 boxes sitting in the living room for donate waiting on someone who can put them in my vehicle for me. I still have limited use of the left side of my body so it takes me a while to get one box unpacked. Anyway, as I unpack it either gets put away, thrown away or put into a box for donation.
Once we are gone our families can do what they want with the things we left behind.
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Old 03-17-2016, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
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You can add addendums to your trust or will stating that certain possessions will belong to specified people. I wish I could tell you that I have done that. I haven't.
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Old 03-17-2016, 05:21 PM
 
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My old neighbor talked once of her mother's estate, after it had been picked over by the heirs, there was one old rocking chair, her mother's favorite, was left all alone, to go out to the curb. SHe said "that's what your life comes down to, an old rocking chair no one wants".


My spouse will get everything when I am gone.

After that, or if my spouse dies before I do, I DON'T CARE who gets what....I only hope the nephew/niece and the grand nephews {to whom everything is left} APPRECIATE the value of certain things left behind, and I don't mean antique furniture!

Those things will be VERY VALUABLE to them if they value them and take care with them!

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Old 03-17-2016, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Central IL
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I think most people realize that much of the stuff they've acquired is very personal and of little monetary value to others. That said, I doubt many would mind who it goes to if they didn't take the trouble to specify in a will or at least tell family ahead of time! There are lots of trinkets with sentimental value...but if no one remains who is sentimental for it then it may as well go to Goodwill or even into the garbage -I know I wouldn't care - so don't be so sad!
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Old 03-17-2016, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,756 posts, read 4,175,271 times
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Here's what my mother did about 5 years before she passed away.(our father had passed away years earlier)
She knew she was sick and wanted to be fair. (GREAT mom!!)

There are 4 siblings in our family

She went through her house with one of my trusted brothers and they listed anything and everything of value, family heirlooms, or sentimental value that someone might want.

First of all, anything that one her kids had given her or brought into the house, were to go back to that kid, no question.

Her and my appointed brother then went over the list and divided things up as fairly as possible and then we all had a look at it and agreed. We were told if we disagreed, then we would have to make a fair trade (which we didn't do)

We all signed it at the bottom and the list was kept in her file folder of important papers.

The end result? No fighting or hard feelings when she passed away and we cleared out her house and contents. We already knew who was getting what. That was the easiest and fairest.
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Old 03-17-2016, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Alaska
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Last Christmas, we had the boys go through their stuff that we kept. They went through it , part going to donations, part to trash, what they wanted to keep and what they didn't care about. On the what they didn't care about, my wife will likely keep most of it, in case they change their minds later. I had just read an article on retiree downsizing and one point made was do you want your family to get rid of it after you pass or get rid of it now? Every time I mention it as we sort through stuff, I get dirty looks.
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Old 03-17-2016, 06:43 PM
 
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I am the baby of the baby so nearly all of my close relatives are older than I. My husband will probably be the only one left of his immediate family. We have an unmarried daughter and a bachelor son who are very close and caring of each other.


I could certainly think of possible circumstances which could alter the situation. But if ever there was a situation which didn't require much pre-planning at this point it is ours.


We have seen a lawyer and drawn up a simple trust. Everything will go to our children to be divided as they see fit. I expect they will be able to work it out fairly. They are both of a generous nature and not particularly materialistic.


Sometime in the next few years I will sit down and draw up a short list of items to distribute to my nieces and nephews. I have already begun to give items away to friends and others who have been important in my life.


Neither of our children are interested in many of our more valuable possessions (jewelry, crystal, china, etc.) and I am considering attempting sales online to add the money to their inheritance.


The main problem is DH who absolutely can. not. part with anything and he has difficulty even discussing it. Unless this changes it will make a lot of work for the kids after he's gone.


Some good ideas in this thread.
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Old 03-17-2016, 06:45 PM
 
13,408 posts, read 6,706,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rjm1cc View Post
One thing to keep in mind. If you tell someone they can have something when you die, be sure to tell the rest of your family members or leave a note with your will. Might be a good idea to also let your family know that you did not promises anything to any one.
It needs to be in writing. People can change up really fast when these things happen. People who you'd think would never fight about stuff do.

I know my mother is looking down with sadness at me and my brother. To keep it easy, I simply concede eventually to whatever he wants. Because he wants every. last. thing. there is if there is any sort of value in it at all.

Obviously he assured her when she was alive the exact opposite.
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Old 03-17-2016, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,592 posts, read 17,582,380 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jencam View Post
It needs to be in writing. People can change up really fast when these things happen. People who you'd think would never fight about stuff do.

I know my mother is looking down with sadness at me and my brother. To keep it easy, I simply concede eventually to whatever he wants. Because he wants every. last. thing. there is if there is any sort of value in it at all.

Obviously he assured her when she was alive the exact opposite.
I was surprised none of this stuff was in writing for these people
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Old 03-17-2016, 07:04 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,756 posts, read 4,175,271 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jencam View Post
It needs to be in writing. People can change up really fast when these things happen. People who you'd think would never fight about stuff do.

I know my mother is looking down with sadness at me and my brother. To keep it easy, I simply concede eventually to whatever he wants. Because he wants every. last. thing. there is if there is any sort of value in it at all.

Obviously he assured her when she was alive the exact opposite.
I have one brother like this (he would have wanted WAY more than his share) and he couldn't do that to me or our other two siblings when our mother passed away. (Why? see my post #15 of this thread)
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