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One thing to keep in mind. If you tell someone they can have something when you die, be sure to tell the rest of your family members or leave a note with your will. Might be a good idea to also let your family know that you did not promises anything to any one.
One thing that we discovered when one of my aunts died, at about age 85, was that she promised the same thing to multiple people over the years. There was a special vase. Apparently on my sister's 21st birthday my aunt promised it to her, then about 15 years later she promised it to our cousin Susie when she celebrated her silver wedding anniversary, then about 20 years later she promised it to a great-niece.
Ditto with the fancy dresser and the antique pitcher & bowl and the... and the... and the...
But, the joke was on all of us, as my aunt had left her house and everything inside the house to a neighbor when she died.
The neighbor had a big auction and we were able to bid and purchase the special vase, the fancy dresser, the antique pitcher & bowl, etc. etc.
I've been through the downsizing so won't repeat that but we are right now dealing with getting rid of a relatives mobile home where they snow birded in Florida for many years. Problem first was he thought he'd be going back there but finally last year, at 92, he agreed to let us sale it. Just can't sale a 50 yr old trailer in a park where it's land rent. Only way to get out of it is have it removed which is happening but now it is filled with all the STUFF which I really hated see going to a landfill. We almost traveled 12 hours, one way, to do a yard sale but then I got smart. By contacting an estates sale person I was put in touch with an outreach program the estate sales person uses to pick up items not sold through her sales. This group is going in and taking whatever they can use in their thrift store or to supply homes they support and send us a donation slip. I am thrilled.
I am currently downsizing (although don't have that much) and donating whatever isn't making the trip to Colorado with me in my retirement, from 1250 sq.ft. to 770 sq.ft. There's a wonderful little organization nearby that takes household goods and furniture to give to formerly homeless people who acquire a place to live, but don't have the stuff for daily life (tables, dishes, etc.) I am donating artwork that is too big for my new place to a fund that will sell the artwork to support people who can't afford to get vet care for their animals. Books to the library for their biannual sales. Clothes to St. Vincent Thrift Store at the Catholic church.
I suppose I could try and sell stuff, but it's not worth it to me. I just want it to have a useful life if it still is useful to someone.
I commend You. That is a wonderful way to give up still useful things.
I often set things out on the berm, it sort of tickles me seeing how fast they disappear. I cannot even think of putting nice furniture in the garbage.
There so many people who enjoy refurbishing old things. And I enjoy knowing something can have a new life.
I have one child. He gets it all. Although he has already made it very clear that he doesn't want any of my junk.
So I will ask him to donate as much as possible to charities. Such as my loom and pottery equipment. But I expect he will just throw most of it away as he thinks it is all "junk".
Examples of "junk":
Ankarsrum mixer, just a couple of years old
Potters wheel, brand new and not yet used because I don't have space for it yet
VitaMix, also just a couple years old
Glimakra Julia loom
35mm digital camera, brand new Pentax, and lenses and filters
keyboard
2 harps
native American flutes
saxaphone
flute
my Elan Excellence sewing machine, brand new
All my tools
All my books - thousands of them
With the exception of the musical instruments and the books, most of this was purchased recently after decades upon decades of doing without.
My sewing machine was purchased used in the 80s. I've never had a new machine of my own until now. I did without a good mixer or blender for all those years as well, and very much treasure the good appliances I have now and wish I had not put these purchases off for so long. I did my weaving and pottery at local guilds and parks & recs programs, where they existed, for all those years as well.
In order to see to it that these and other tools and equipment are best distributed after my death, I'll have to identify specific recipients in the area to receive these items because my son won't. The best I can hope for from him would be for him to call Goodwill to come haul everything away. Otherwise, he will quite literally just set everything on the curb to have it hauled away as trash.
I understand it is unlikely that my son, at this late date, will suddenly develop an interest in musical instruments or the tools of various creative enterprises. But come on - at least don't call the things that matter to me "junk" to my face!
There is a Free posting site on CraigsList and some cities like Austin Tx has strong recycle movement
Check your area
Maybe as you get closer to not using the items you have you can outsource your pottery/camera items that are still in good condition to maybe a local high school art/newspaper department
Posting other stuff on the Free site on Craigslist can usually find takers to come pick it up
Don't wait until you are gone--
If you aren't using this stuff start now...
How have you planned to have your possessions distributed once you pass on? Do you have that in your will? Are specific or valuable items going one place, and less valuable or routine items going elsewhere? How do you feel about having your possessions picked over by family, friends, and neighbors? If anything, these situations I've been involved in are really good cases for better planning before the person is incapacitated/dead.
It needs to be in writing. People can change up really fast when these things happen. People who you'd think would never fight about stuff do.
I know my mother is looking down with sadness at me and my brother. To keep it easy, I simply concede eventually to whatever he wants. Because he wants every. last. thing. there is if there is any sort of value in it at all.
Obviously he assured her when she was alive the exact opposite.
This sounds like my brother. True, he was executor of my mom's 'estate' and he has yet to share a copy of her Trust with any of us. We all know we are in it but don't know what she planned for us. He simply 'took over' everything and made my life so miserable for a few months I actually got sick. I had been renting Mom's guest house for six years and she had told BOTH of us that when she was gone I could stay there for as long as I wanted/needed to. He disagreed I guess and wanted to rent out my little house for more money. His daughter lived there for a short time but it's been empty for a year now. I don't fight him. Like you I concede to it all. I bought my own home three months after Mom died so I don't have to worry about that but I still think we should be allowed to see a copy of that Trust. The difference between you and me, I guess, is that I KNEW what a jerk my brother would be and he proved me right.
This sounds like my brother. True, he was executor of my mom's 'estate' and he has yet to share a copy of her Trust with any of us. We all know we are in it but don't know what she planned for us. He simply 'took over' everything and made my life so miserable for a few months I actually got sick. I had been renting Mom's guest house for six years and she had told BOTH of us that when she was gone I could stay there for as long as I wanted/needed to. He disagreed I guess and wanted to rent out my little house for more money. His daughter lived there for a short time but it's been empty for a year now. I don't fight him. Like you I concede to it all. I bought my own home three months after Mom died so I don't have to worry about that but I still think we should be allowed to see a copy of that Trust. The difference between you and me, I guess, is that I KNEW what a jerk my brother would be and he proved me right.
yes my husband has a sister like that she got all his dads medals from the war ww2 which should by rights gone to my husband her brother and his fathers only son . She is a hateful witch and my husband told his dad he needed to put everything in writing and his father neglected to do that and who took the medals out of the house while over there ?, she did and she refuses to give them to my husband so my husband told her he knew she sold them to see how big of a liar she was and she did . This sister is the same sister that blamed the maid for stealing a ruby ring and his dad and mom fired the maid over it . So I got smart and told my husband I m going to take a picture of her to the local pawn shops and ask if they know if she pawned a ruby ring in there . Sure enough she did and she still denied it . I cannot tell you how important getting it all in writing is so there is no fighting or back stabbing going on. Because let us face it some of our children are greedy, money hungry people
I wanted to say this as well , we had a neighbor who passed away really fast and unexpected as well . Her kids had that house cleaned out within 6 hrs of her funeral and let me tell you the for sale sign went up on that house the very next day . talk about cold and heartless and they put all her furnishings and what they did not take to the curb and let the neighbors go through it . I took a rocking chair because I remembered seeing her in that chair all the time and it was a nice rocker and comfortable too . I still have it after all these years that chair has gone with me every where I have ever moved , if I move again and sell my house it will go with me because I feel like I have an angel in heaven watching over me . But my husband even commented on how cold and sterile those kids were . That is pretty bad because my husband usually never says anything to anyone about anybody .
Young people today largely neither collect "antiques" nor do they buy the houses big enough to showplace them. There was a depressing article in the Philadelphia city magazine a few months ago about this phenomenon. An elderly woman in a fancy main line house basically giving away antiques that she took a lifetime to collect. Items that retailed for hundreds or thousands of dollars back in the day. Perhaps this is a northeastern problem, but I suspect it's national.
When I downsized from the large house in Connecticut, I had several estate agents come through to estimate the contents. Only one was even halfway interested, and he insisted on doing the sale on premises to minimize costs. I'm talking about 19th century 10x13 Persian rugs, 18th century American furniture, etc. All in good condition or better. I netted about 30k on items that I certainly spent over 50k in stronger dollars to accumulate. Unless it's an exquisite or incredibly rare example, people are just not buying antiques for top dollar today. Dealers tell me they never recovered since the 2008 crash.
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