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Old 03-19-2016, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Southwest Pa
1,440 posts, read 3,722,267 times
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One of the best things I think I've done was to pre-distribute anything important in regards to family history. Photos, war materials, knick-knacky stuff, some other stuff that had been around forever. All went to two grown sons with only two rules. The first was they had to take everything I'd laid out without picking and choosing. The second was before they discarded anything to ask me what the significance of the item was. After that they were free to do as they pleased with the items.
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Old 03-19-2016, 08:14 PM
 
1,168 posts, read 2,401,166 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jencam View Post
It needs to be in writing. People can change up really fast when these things happen. People who you'd think would never fight about stuff do.

I know my mother is looking down with sadness at me and my brother. To keep it easy, I simply concede eventually to whatever he wants. Because he wants every. last. thing. there is if there is any sort of value in it at all.

Obviously he assured her when she was alive the exact opposite.

I'm very curious about this- how exactly does he make this known to you- what does he say?- I want that- I want that , I want that?
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Old 03-19-2016, 08:56 PM
 
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When my inlaws passed , there wasn't very many things of value and it was evenly distributed between my wife and her sisters. Only a gun collection which did seem to bring the most money. The other stuff, furniture and household stuff was distributed between the grands. My parents, on the other hand, had many very nice things which me, being the only child, could not absorb a lot of it. Hendredon, Drexel, Ethan Allen, Thomasville furniture we had to dispose of. I have a single daughter but she is living 1800 miles away and at the time was in an apartment. She, as a Millennial, bucks a trend and wanted my mothers Haviland china, Wallace sterling flatware and crystal. We took what we could and traded out their better quality furniture and then put the rest at an estate sale. The man running it did a great job and even returned a couple of things that didn't sell ( Franciscan Desert Rose pottery and a Howard Miller wall clock) which I did give the dishes to a cousin in CAL. I want to start to downsize but wife won't hear of it, ( she has TOO many books!!) . With only one daughter living far away, there will be a day of reckoning for us and I am not looking forward to it. (BTW, we are mid 60s)
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Old 03-19-2016, 09:18 PM
 
2,786 posts, read 3,963,138 times
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Inlaws passed and things went pretty smoothly. There was not much of value except a gun collection but not much else. My wife and her sisters divided everything they wanted and the grands who lived in the area got the rest that they wanted. Other stuff was at a yard sale. My parents, on the other hand, had a lot of nice things and with me being the only child, we absorbed as much as we could. My daughter who lived in an apartment 1800 miles away ( only grandchild) did want the Haviland china, Wallace sterling flatware and crystal which is unusual for a Millennial. The rest was handed over to an estate sale. It really hurt to see good furniture like Hendredon, Drexel, Ethan Allen and Thomasville go for practically nothing or end up donated to thrift store, but there was no option as we could see it. After cleaning out these households as well as 3 in the 90's, it has made me less of a packrat. Now if I could just convince wife. !! We are in our mid 60's but I know our day is coming.
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Old 03-19-2016, 10:01 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,850 posts, read 14,356,798 times
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What I notice is that wine glasses I see in antique and thrift stores are not like the newer wine glasses. I am not a big wine drinker, and I own a total of 6 glasses, but that is what I notice.

Apparently quality Early American antiques are no longer in vogue? I imagine the old quality pieces will always have buyers, but for pieces that are repros, even quality repros, perhaps not as much.

I tend to value furniture for its functionality, but I suppose others don't so much. I am not so much worried over what my kids might want, as how they would dispose of it. It is a pain to get rid of so much stuff. I remember going through my MIL's house after she died. Not pleasant. I don't want that for my kids. But, I don't appear to be in ill health now, so I am not doing a grand purge yet.

We did dispose of an awful lot of stuff when we did our big move. And if I bring something into the house, I try to take something out. Today I pulled three old purses, which will be donated to GW. In January, I got a new occasional table; I got rid of the old one immediately. I don't like to keep useless things around. But, still, there is a lot of stuff in this house.
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Old 03-20-2016, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
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I have about a dozen wine glasses. I live alone and only occasionally have someone here for a glass of wine, so I'm good for a while!
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Old 03-21-2016, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,571 posts, read 17,544,804 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bazzwell View Post
One of the best things I think I've done was to pre-distribute anything important in regards to family history. Photos, war materials, knick-knacky stuff, some other stuff that had been around forever. All went to two grown sons with only two rules. The first was they had to take everything I'd laid out without picking and choosing. The second was before they discarded anything to ask me what the significance of the item was. After that they were free to do as they pleased with the items.
Agreed. Even if there is a will, I think it would be easy for often small items to get lost in the mix.
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Old 03-21-2016, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Kountze, Texas
1,013 posts, read 1,158,814 times
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My MIL has put a few names on a few pieces - but she has 2 sons and she says they get to fight it out. This bothers me a lot as she has a large house filled with family treasures. At least now we are on 1 1/2 hrs from Mom instead of many states away - so BIL and DH will be able to go through things together - not DH getting there after BIL cleaned it all out.
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Old 03-21-2016, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Location: Happy Place
3,686 posts, read 1,866,292 times
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Should I outlive my husband (he's 70 I'm 60) I plan to arrange for an estate sale and then sell our house. I will take minimal items such as loveseat, tv, tv cabinet, bed, dresser, nightstand and move to a small apartment in the downtown area where we live.
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Old 03-22-2016, 12:35 AM
 
Location: Somewhere between chaos and confusion
324 posts, read 181,832 times
Reputation: 668
Quote:
Originally Posted by jencam View Post
It needs to be in writing. People can change up really fast when these things happen. People who you'd think would never fight about stuff do.

I know my mother is looking down with sadness at me and my brother. To keep it easy, I simply concede eventually to whatever he wants. Because he wants every. last. thing. there is if there is any sort of value in it at all.

Obviously he assured her when she was alive the exact opposite.
This and things change. My father left everything to my step-mother, with the idea that she would keep everything the same, divided between her children and me, equally, and he had every right too. She has since remarried and now has other adult step-children that she is favoring. I can only hope that the last few precious items of my fathers before they were married get to me, I don't expect much else. I wish that he would have put in writing the couple of items he wanted me to have. I have asked her to please put in writing her posessions so the right peeps can get them....I would hate for her boys to feel like I do.
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