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I think balance is the key. It can be tough to be happy when you are under intense financial strain, no matter how good your relationships are. On the other hand, allowing the pursuit of success to consume you to the detriment of your relationships is also bad.
So to me it is all about balance - enough money to be comfortable, not so much it rules your life. Enough success to be independent, not so much that you get ulcers. And above all, value those close to you.
Several years ago I was able to visit with the woman who lived across the road from me when I was growing up. At that time she was 102 and she lived to 103 I think. She lived in a nursing home and had just seen the beautician that morning so hair, nails, complete with earrings were all in place, and it wasn't because of my visit as she didn't know I was coming. I asked her what was the secret to long life. Her answer, "work, lots of it". It was true. When I was little she was the truant officer for our county (I never missed school!). Prior to that when she finished school she borrowed $300 and went to a teaching college, she taught in a one room school until she married. She then drove a school bus and later help run the local grocery store. Later in life she was the hostess at a restaurant in town then later worked as the bailiff in the court. She always drove a red car. I hope I can half her energy as I age.
I really do hate it when a study says it's findings are about everybody, when it's not. Like when they did studies and excluded blacks. 10 to 1 they used only white men.
"a research project that since 1938 has closely tracked and examined the lives of more than 700 menand in some cases their spouses."
Science has been eliminating females since before this study started in the 1930s. The researchers, and the reporters should have made it clear that the findings are for men. They later tagged on the spouses of the original male sample.
It's an important thing to know, and be careful about, when looking at what research is being presented.
Actually, this study applies only to white, heterosexual men, from Boston born long, long ago.
While I do wish the general public (ie: we posters here on CD) were more aware of such data skewing, I blame the researchers. Not the OP here. Just sayin'
i agree that relationships can add to a person's sense of fulfilment and happiness in life, but i feel that the quality of the relationship determines the depth of fulfilment. my relationship to my late husband-the security, the shared memories, the feeling of belonging and commonality was central to my life and my happiness. in a somewhat different sense, my 14 year relationship with the significant other provides much of those feelings now. however, having an essentially social relationship-someone to go shopping with, have lunch with, etc.- is pleasant, in that it provides diversion, stimulation, but, often, such relationships, even with those whom we consider friends, do not provide enough continuity, substance to translate into sustained happiness.
i grew up in what can be considered a fairly intense emotional environment, with many family members. although there was certainly stress at times, it was primarily a very rich, very communicative closely woven network of people living and sharing their lives together. i don't ever expect to duplicate that and some of it i wouldn't want to duplicate, but that experience has conditioned me to seek emotional closeness and depth in relationships on which i expend energy and time. although i have fairly superficial friendships with some and something more with one, possibly two, i have never felt that the existence of a relationship can obliterate aloneness or even loneliness, at least not for very long. these can provide distraction, but, in my experience, something less than happiness.
i agree that relationships can add to a person's sense of fulfilment and happiness in life, but i feel that the quality of the relationship determines the depth of fulfilment. my relationship to my late husband-the security, the shared memories, the feeling of belonging and commonality was central to my life and my happiness. in a somewhat different sense, my 14 year relationship with the significant other provides much of those feelings now. however, having an essentially social relationship-someone to go shopping with, have lunch with, etc.- is pleasant, in that it provides diversion, stimulation, but, often, such relationships, even with those whom we consider friends, do not provide enough continuity, substance to translate into sustained happiness.
i grew up in what can be considered a fairly intense emotional environment, with many family members. although there was certainly stress at times, it was primarily a very rich, very communicative closely woven network of people living and sharing their lives together. i don't ever expect to duplicate that and some of it i wouldn't want to duplicate, but that experience has conditioned me to seek emotional closeness and depth in relationships on which i expend energy and time. although i have fairly superficial friendships with some and something more with one, possibly two, i have never felt that the existence of a relationship can obliterate aloneness or even loneliness, at least not for very long. these can provide distraction, but, in my experience, something less than happiness.
catsy
But you have to start somewhere. Give an acquaintance time and a chance in a year you may end up with a real friend.
Not everyone is social. I think the key is to live within your means, and to try to be content with what you have.
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This study is about men, not all people
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