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Old 03-25-2016, 11:49 AM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,687 posts, read 8,589,783 times
Reputation: 19907

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
My statement about enjoying the company of people of all ages especially those of whom are my age was not the question.

This might be a comprehension problem. I will attempt to explain. I asked if you have always disliked your peers. That would include a dislike of them at any age you might have been.

I understand you might be confused but it's really a very simple question.
Nice try. But I ain't going for it.

You did not ask me IF I always disliked my peers, you asked me if I HAVE ALWAYS disliked my peers. Then you followed that up with another try by referring to my "confusion". Condescension like that just doesn't work for me.

If you would like to know IF I "dislike my peers", I can address that:
It seems that my not viewing myself as old has irritated you in some way. You evidently feel threatened by the fact that a man 71 does not consider himself old, does not want to be around people who do consider themselves old, and will not volunteer at the Senior Center.
My answer is, "no". I do not dislike my peers. But I reserve the right to decide for myself who my peers might be; you don't get to do that for me. My peers are more likely to be out doing yard work than attending a function at the Senior Center.
And I like them just fine.
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Old 03-25-2016, 11:55 AM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,687 posts, read 8,589,783 times
Reputation: 19907
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delahanty View Post
Forget that.

Few things are more annoying than OPs who start threads to elicit opinions without first offering theirs. And I don't intend to scroll through pages of responses, either.
The intent was to ask for opinions without polluting the air with mine. If I had known in advance there would be this much discussion I may have done it differently.
You should read through the thread; there are some wonderful stories and comments.
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Old 03-25-2016, 12:27 PM
 
6,323 posts, read 5,064,142 times
Reputation: 12848
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
Nice try. But I ain't going for it.

You did not ask me IF I always disliked my peers, you asked me if I HAVE ALWAYS disliked my peers. Then you followed that up with another try by referring to my "confusion". Condescension like that just doesn't work for me.

If you would like to know IF I "dislike my peers", I can address that:
It seems that my not viewing myself as old has irritated you in some way. You evidently feel threatened by the fact that a man 71 does not consider himself old, does not want to be around people who do consider themselves old, and will not volunteer at the Senior Center.
My answer is, "no". I do not dislike my peers. But I reserve the right to decide for myself who my peers might be; you don't get to do that for me. My peers are more likely to be out doing yard work than attending a function at the Senior Center.
And I like them just fine.
Maybe she is just curious about why you think that way.

I am always wondering. I'm almost 20 years younger than you, and yes I would consider you old.

I have sisters almost your age and they also do not consider themselves "old", but they limp around like they are. And they are. I mean - you have to face it some time.

I don't care if someone considers me old. To younger people I am old. I just had a 'senior' breakfast this morning. Who cares.

My "roommate" will be 70 in a few months. I have to remind him that he isn't 50. I don't want to have to call an ambulance when he can't get up after doing something he shouldn't be doing.

And no, he looks far from "old". One lady was shocked when she saw him. By the way I speak of him, she thought he was some hunched up old fogey. He could easily pass for 50, but what you see is not what you get - lol!

So it is interesting to me, why people don't want to get or be "old". Its just a fact of life.

There was an interesting article about a doctor that decided that 75 was the perfect age to die. I agree with him. So I've got 20 years to go. I tell my sisters - 5 years - better get hopping to doing what you want - lol!

Oh and as for yard work - most of the limping around that my sisters and roommate do come from yard work. Bah - limp around from doing something fun, I tell them.

I realize this is a delicate/touchy subject. But very interesting to me.
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Old 03-25-2016, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,676,966 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
Maybe you're just old.
I'm not there yet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
Nice try. But I ain't going for it.

You did not ask me IF I always disliked my peers, you asked me if I HAVE ALWAYS disliked my peers. Then you followed that up with another try by referring to my "confusion". Condescension like that just doesn't work for me.

If you would like to know IF I "dislike my peers", I can address that:
It seems that my not viewing myself as old has irritated you in some way. You evidently feel threatened by the fact that a man 71 does not consider himself old, does not want to be around people who do consider themselves old, and will not volunteer at the Senior Center.
My answer is, "no". I do not dislike my peers. But I reserve the right to decide for myself who my peers might be; you don't get to do that for me. My peers are more likely to be out doing yard work than attending a function at the Senior Center.
And I like them just fine.
I guess you do not understand the use of the little "smilies" and their meanings. When you replied to my question you used this one: If you roll over it with your mouse you will see it says "confused" which is why I referred to your confusion. It was your choice of icons I was in no way being condescending.

I asked a simple question. I really wasn't asking for a psychoanalysis of my personality but it's understandable under the circumstances. It in fact says much more about you than it does me. Defensive. Accusing, Assuming. Ouch!

I should have know as much when I saw your post was just regarding women shut ins.

So have the last word which I am sure you will, I am usually correct about these things because I have a feeling this thread was started for the purposes of revealing more of your own braggadocio than for the purpose of seeking real opinions.

But I won't see it because I'm gone, won't be back, bye.
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Old 03-25-2016, 01:30 PM
 
5,397 posts, read 6,540,598 times
Reputation: 10472
^^^^^ that is the way it came across to me as well
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Old 03-25-2016, 01:45 PM
 
6,323 posts, read 5,064,142 times
Reputation: 12848
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
I guess you do not understand the use of the little "smilies" and their meanings. When you replied to my question you used this one: If you roll over it with your mouse you will see it says "confused" which is why I referred to your confusion. It was your choice of icons I was in no way being condescending.

I asked a simple question. I really wasn't asking for a psychoanalysis of my personality but it's understandable under the circumstances. It in fact says much more about you than it does me. Defensive. Accusing, Assuming. Ouch!

I should have know as much when I saw your post was just regarding women shut ins.

So have the last word which I am sure you will, I am usually correct about these things because I have a feeling this thread was started for the purposes of revealing more of your own braggadocio than for the purpose of seeking real opinions.

But I won't see it because I'm gone, won't be back, bye.
He did say he would let us know why he is asking the question. I figure since he only asked about women, that maybe his wife or significant other is becoming such a shut-in.

I also wonder if he is a Vietnam veteran. I have several BILs, a brother and my roommate that are Vietnam veterans. They can be something else at times. Sometimes you just want to be alone and away from them.

It isn't their fault, but you never know when they will just go off.
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Old 03-25-2016, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,396,297 times
Reputation: 16288
I believe what he was saying is: There is 70 and then there is 70. This applies to any age. Some people look old, think old and act old. Others the same age do just the opposite. Age is insignificant to me but how people think & act is.
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Old 03-25-2016, 01:59 PM
 
17,002 posts, read 20,690,362 times
Reputation: 33994
Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
So many possibilities.

Do they have yardwork done now and the wives feel no need to go out in the yard anymore?

If they had dogs, have their pets died and they no longer have a reason to get out for a walk?

If they were sick, have they become accustomed to not moving around and find they no longer can as easily and so they don't.

And along those lines, if they have been housebound from an illness, have they been watching TV/news more than usual and now have a distorted view of the dangers outside?

Are they depressed from friends and relatives dying and they can't see the point of participating in life any longer after losing so many they have loved?

Finally, are the wives still doing the lion's share of housework, preparing meals and cleaning up afterwards? They may no longer have the energy to do it all without any help and still have the energy for much else.

Some reasons have simple solutions, some need intervention.

In my family, my MIL is busier than I am, her social calendar is booked, while my mother rarely gets out now. MIL is 85 and an extrovert and my Mom is 90 and an introvert.

Well you see you have to actually interact with your neighbors in order to do this.

OP sounds like the Gladys Kravitz type, peeking through the blinds.

As you said it could be for a number of reasons. Maybe some of them passed away.

My feeling is unless you're actually concerned and have a conversation with the husbands without being too invasive, and ask if they need any help, why does the OP care?

Sounds more like a case of someone being nosey.
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Old 03-25-2016, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,872 posts, read 13,560,066 times
Reputation: 29033
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
Or perhaps this happens if one depends only upon their grandchildren to get them out of the house. I know of too many situations where elderly women sit waiting by the window for their adult grandchildren to come by to take them out. Or in the case of young grandchildren, their elderly person's adult children to come by and take them to see the grandchildren.

Better to strive to have one's own plan for a social life. If there are mental issues, these must be addressed.
Minervah makes some very good points here. I always advise new retirees here to HAVE A PLAN for their old age, in terms of where they will live when they are impaired, can't drive, can't do housework, etc., because so few do. Many of us want to "age in place" but are very unrealistic about how that can happen.

Same is true of the social life. As a caregiver who knows many other caregivers, I see so many elders who just wait, wait, wait for others to visit them, take them somewhere, etc. Of course, some elders are physically unable to go out without assistance. But it would help if they had some plan of things they wanted to do besides waiting for things to happen TO THEM.

Ask a retired person if they know what kinds of transportation options are available for them where they live. I guarantee you will find that many of them have no idea. They just expect their families to take them places. Meanwhile in many locations there are public transportation options and/or private services so that even the most disabled person can be taken wherever they need to go. People act as if being unable to drive is a death sentence without even being aware of van services in their areas.
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Old 03-25-2016, 02:34 PM
 
4,346 posts, read 6,061,197 times
Reputation: 10443
Here's why I don't reply to threads over 4 pages long. They turn into cluster &#@$s.
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