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Old 03-25-2016, 02:47 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,492,863 times
Reputation: 29076

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
He did say he would let us know why he is asking the question. I figure since he only asked about women, that maybe his wife or significant other is becoming such a shut-in.

I also wonder if he is a Vietnam veteran. I have several BILs, a brother and my roommate that are Vietnam veterans. They can be something else at times. Sometimes you just want to be alone and away from them.

It isn't their fault, but you never know when they will just go off.
Watch it now. You're treading on thin ice with some gross generalizations that further stigmatize too many of my brothers in arms.
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Old 03-25-2016, 02:48 PM
 
6,256 posts, read 4,734,369 times
Reputation: 12853
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeriously View Post
Here's why I don't reply to threads over 4 pages long. They turn into cluster &#@$s.
Looks like you broke your own rule and still did not manage to make any useful contribution to the thread.


Personally I find value to the various points of view presented. It seems there are always a few who become aggravated when they read something they disagree with. That happens with short threads as well.
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Old 03-25-2016, 02:50 PM
 
6,821 posts, read 3,867,159 times
Reputation: 15540
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
Nice try. But I ain't going for it.

You did not ask me IF I always disliked my peers, you asked me if I HAVE ALWAYS disliked my peers. Then you followed that up with another try by referring to my "confusion". Condescension like that just doesn't work for me.

If you would like to know IF I "dislike my peers", I can address that:
It seems that my not viewing myself as old has irritated you in some way. You evidently feel threatened by the fact that a man 71 does not consider himself old, does not want to be around people who do consider themselves old, and will not volunteer at the Senior Center.
My answer is, "no". I do not dislike my peers. But I reserve the right to decide for myself who my peers might be; you don't get to do that for me. My peers are more likely to be out doing yard work than attending a function at the Senior Center.
And I like them just fine.

I am the one who brought up going to the Senior Center, to which you responded it wasn't for you. I think that is fine, and I certainly wasn't offended.

You may have an mistaken picture of the people who are there, however, at least at ours. They go for a couple of hours to have lunch together, visit, and listen to some music. Many of them have gardens which they work in, pets and livestock they care for, workshops out back, etc. They go on fishing trips and to local concerts, sometimes with friends met at the center. Many belong to civic organizations also.
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Old 03-25-2016, 03:21 PM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,673 posts, read 8,580,903 times
Reputation: 19871
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
Well you see you have to actually interact with your neighbors in order to do this.

OP sounds like the Gladys Kravitz type, peeking through the blinds.

As you said it could be for a number of reasons. Maybe some of them passed away.

My feeling is unless you're actually concerned and have a conversation with the husbands without being too invasive, and ask if they need any help, why does the OP care?

Sounds more like a case of someone being nosey.
In this case the OP (that would be me) wanted to know if he was seeing a black swan event where there are a cluster of older women who become more and more shut in, or was it fairly normal for this to happen. As I said, some of my long-time, long-distance friends complain about this as it applies to their wives, and I see it happening in mine.

Apparently, the answer is as complicated as the number of people responding. Some women truly love their homes and don't care if they leave at all. Besides loving where they live, others have perfectly good reasons for not wanting to venture out.

My original question was about women because I have not seen this behavior in men. For that matter, most of the respondents to this thread appear to be women.
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Old 03-25-2016, 03:23 PM
 
6,321 posts, read 5,058,385 times
Reputation: 12831
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Watch it now. You're treading on thin ice with some gross generalizations that further stigmatize too many of my brothers in arms.
I'm retired military myself - deployed several times. My father was a WW2 veteran also. All of us disabled veterans.
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Old 03-25-2016, 03:35 PM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,673 posts, read 8,580,903 times
Reputation: 19871
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Maybe she is just curious about why you think that way.

I am always wondering. I'm almost 20 years younger than you, and yes I would consider you old.

I have sisters almost your age and they also do not consider themselves "old", but they limp around like they are. And they are. I mean - you have to face it some time.

I don't care if someone considers me old. To younger people I am old. I just had a 'senior' breakfast this morning. Who cares.

My "roommate" will be 70 in a few months. I have to remind him that he isn't 50. I don't want to have to call an ambulance when he can't get up after doing something he shouldn't be doing.

And no, he looks far from "old". One lady was shocked when she saw him. By the way I speak of him, she thought he was some hunched up old fogey. He could easily pass for 50, but what you see is not what you get - lol!

So it is interesting to me, why people don't want to get or be "old". Its just a fact of life.

There was an interesting article about a doctor that decided that 75 was the perfect age to die. I agree with him. So I've got 20 years to go. I tell my sisters - 5 years - better get hopping to doing what you want - lol!

Oh and as for yard work - most of the limping around that my sisters and roommate do come from yard work. Bah - limp around from doing something fun, I tell them.

I realize this is a delicate/touchy subject. But very interesting to me.
..And I think you for your interest.


I guess when I was 50 (about your age) I considered people 70 to be old. But when I was 35, 50 was old, so it looks like the old "moving target" thing. FTR, I don't feel like I'm dying, just yet.

I'm not sure where "old" is now. There was a story a few pages back about a 90-something man who was traveling. At first everyone thought it was wonderful, but then they realized he really couldn't fend for himself and keep up. So that underscores your point in self acceptance, I think. "Man's gotta know his limitations", is the line that pops into my mind. (Clint Eastwood, Outlaw Josey Wales, I think)

.... He could easily pass for 50, but what you see is not what you get - lol!
That made me laugh. I know exactly what you are talking about. Maybe it's you that's keeping him young!

BOL!
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Old 03-25-2016, 03:43 PM
 
17,002 posts, read 20,682,700 times
Reputation: 33993
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
In this case the OP (that would be me) wanted to know if he was seeing a black swan event where there are a cluster of older women who become more and more shut in, or was it fairly normal for this to happen. As I said, some of my long-time, long-distance friends complain about this as it applies to their wives, and I see it happening in mine.

Apparently, the answer is as complicated as the number of people responding. Some women truly love their homes and don't care if they leave at all. Besides loving where they live, others have perfectly good reasons for not wanting to venture out.

My original question was about women because I have not seen this behavior in men. For that matter, most of the respondents to this thread appear to be women.

Actually you can see this behavior in men who have become widows. While some actually start seeing a woman not too long after their wife passes, while others retreat.

Also there are some men who as one poster said retire and the wife is driven crazy as he is now home all the time.
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Old 03-25-2016, 03:50 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,764 posts, read 7,827,604 times
Reputation: 13083
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post

For that matter, most of the respondents to this thread appear to be women.
Well, what did you expect when the word 'women' is in the thread title?

Last edited by Fox Terrier; 03-25-2016 at 04:19 PM..
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Old 03-25-2016, 04:33 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,492,863 times
Reputation: 29076
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I'm retired military myself - deployed several times. My father was a WW2 veteran also. All of us disabled veterans.
Then you should know better!
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Old 03-25-2016, 04:49 PM
 
6,321 posts, read 5,058,385 times
Reputation: 12831
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Then you should know better!
I was just talking about the people I know. And we discuss it amongst ourselves - the triggers and why and what to avoid, how to react.
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