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Old 03-25-2016, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Ohio
1,217 posts, read 2,350,830 times
Reputation: 2214

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Good ideas on why older women (and men) stay home.
I'll add my 2 additional thoughts:

1. FOX News scares the crap outta older people who tend to believe everything that's labeled "news". News in general specializes in bad news because that's what keeps people watching. When you constantly hear bad news you want to stay inside and lower your chances of being carjacked, shot, etc.

2. As others have pointed out some younger people like staying home too. So when they retire and are able to choose to go out or stay in what would they choose? People also like to control their environment by living in gated communities. The first time I noticed this was when the first one was built in my small hometown and all the widow ladies with money lined up to buy. They liked the security as well as having someone do all home maintenance they couldn't do.

I am a semi-introvert who does not stay home (retired 60-something). I play pickle ball with regulars and strangers (drop-in game at county facility), love taking day trips to photograph outdoor scenes, but also spend hours indoors painting landscapes. If my spouse died nothing much would change but I'd miss having dinner with him and talking about things so might have to join a group to get more human interaction.

Conclusion: I think the major reasons people stay home is fear, lack of money, poor health and lastly because they've wanted to relax at home since they started working and now they can.
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Old 03-25-2016, 07:47 PM
 
632 posts, read 403,673 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
Clemencia, I think fat, dumb, and happy is just another way of describing what Thoreau called quiet desperation. I do not think he meant desperation to mean unhappiness.


Aside from the I point I mentioned, Thoreau had a wealth of interesting outlooks and observations. For those not familiar with his writings, I would recommend a few hours spent reading at least, Walden. You will find that Thoreau was not an intellectual philosopher, but rather a transcendentalist who believed in a life of simplicity, self sufficiency and contemplation and closeness to the natural world.
Desperation is defined as a state of anguish and despair. I do not see how you can define "fat, dumb and happy" as being even remotely comparable.
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Old 03-25-2016, 08:45 PM
 
6,249 posts, read 4,728,813 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vicky3vicky View Post
Desperation is defined as a state of anguish and despair. I do not see how you can define "fat, dumb and happy" as being even remotely comparable.
You are arguing with the wrong person. You need to argue with Thoreau. I would tend to agree that Thoreau's term "quiet desperation" is unusual and difficult to understand. He does not seem to mean anguish or despair or even unhappiness. He seems to mean a resignation in blindly following the norms of society without true understanding. He felt sorry for those who were concerned about making money and improving their status in society but had lost the ability to appreciate nature and spiritual ideals.


Thoreau's ideas are more complicated than what can be explained in a few sentences. If you want to "see" I would suggest you read Thoreau.
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Old 03-25-2016, 09:02 PM
 
6,249 posts, read 4,728,813 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imagardener View Post
.................

Conclusion: I think the major reasons people stay home is fear, lack of money, poor health and lastly because they've wanted to relax at home since they started working and now they can.

Nice list. I think there can be a lot of additional factors:


As we get older, we lose our friends and family. Some move away, develop other interests or don't get out much either. As we get older more and more of our friends die off. My very good friend died 5 years ago, the same year I retired. We used to do target archery together almost every Sunday afternoon. There is not a day I don't think of him. Also I about gave up target archery. There is no way I will ever re-create those old days.


Lack of opportunity can be a big issue. I live in suburbia. The elderly still living in their houses don't get out much. Snow and bad weather kill any interest. But worse there is not much to do. Going shopping or out to lunch gets old in a hurry. There is a reason the Villages are so popular. There are endless clubs and opportunities for activities that would interest older people.
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Old 03-26-2016, 06:08 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,764 posts, read 7,823,323 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
You are arguing with the wrong person. You need to argue with Thoreau. I would tend to agree that Thoreau's term "quiet desperation" is unusual and difficult to understand. He does not seem to mean anguish or despair or even unhappiness.
No, Vicky is arguing with the right person.

The above is just your interpretation of Thoreau.

There is nothing difficult about understanding the meaning of the word 'desperation'.


Quote:
You will find that Thoreau was not an intellectual philosopher, but rather a transcendentalist who believed in a life of simplicity, self sufficiency and contemplation and closeness to the natural world.
Well, according to you then, Thoreau was advocating for limiting one's time in trivial pursuits and becoming what we call today A SHUT-IN! You know, those people leading lives of quite desperation...
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Old 03-26-2016, 07:20 AM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,837 posts, read 4,952,340 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imagardener View Post
Good ideas on why older women (and men) stay home.
I'll add my 2 additional thoughts:

1. FOX News scares the crap outta older people who tend to believe everything that's labeled "news". News in general specializes in bad news because that's what keeps people watching. When you constantly hear bad news you want to stay inside and lower your chances of being carjacked, shot, etc.
That made me laugh.

I have a friend who is retired, has Fox News going on 2 TVs all the time, who lives in a gated community, and always carries either a loaded 9 mm pistol or bear spray whenever he wanders outside his guard gates.

He also drives a 3/4 ton pickup with massive after market bumpers on both ends. His truck is also armed.

As for me, I dumped DirecTV several years ago and I rarely watch TV.

I refuse to live my life in fear.
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Old 03-26-2016, 07:30 AM
 
6,249 posts, read 4,728,813 times
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I used to live next door to an ex-cop who is now collecting guns and ammo just in case. He is hoping Trump will be elected and handle the bad guys. Becoming mentally ill in older age is unfortunately very common and I am sure that accounts for some hermits.
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Old 03-26-2016, 08:07 AM
 
10,331 posts, read 9,376,947 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vision67 View Post
That made me laugh.

I have a friend who is retired, has Fox News going on 2 TVs all the time, who lives in a gated community, and always carries either a loaded 9 mm pistol or bear spray whenever he wanders outside his guard gates.

He also drives a 3/4 ton pickup with massive after market bumpers on both ends. His truck is also armed.

As for me, I dumped DirecTV several years ago and I rarely watch TV.

I refuse to live my life in fear.
CNN, MSNBC, Fox or any news channel is doom and gloom because bad news raises ratings, only reporting good news lowers ratings. But then I suppose the poster may just have a thing against Fox.
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Old 03-26-2016, 02:31 PM
 
2,677 posts, read 1,071,493 times
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Originally Posted by goossens View Post
I am only 53, but suffer from the same thing. It started when I crushed 3 vertebra in my back, and then had to go on permanent disability because they could not fix it "good enough." Shortly after this, my husband of 25 years left very unexpectedly. I am now in on incredibly small fixed income, can barely pay rent/utilities and then have to try for groceries...I have also been losing weight unwillingly, lots of stomach pain, nausea, and no appetite.
The GI doc finally decided that I had Chronic Pancreatitis, gave me an enzyme pill, nausea pill, and an appetite stimulant. However during 4 years of this, malnutrition set in, I lost a BUNCH of teeth (no dental insurance of course) and when I look in the mirror, I see a skeleton with a bunch of missing teeth. I don't want people to see me. I look like I have meth mouth, and that disturbs me worse than anything else. It also contributes to my eating problem, because I have no molars to chew with.

I have lost touch with every friend I used to have (they were, of course, mainly "couple" friends) and without work, it's truly hard to meet people, especially when you are so disgusted about your appearance.

Volunteering is difficult, because I never know when I will have a good day or bad, so it's really hard to commit.

Feel like there is very little quality of life, the only thing that keeps me going are my 3 kids, but they are all adults and out doing their own thing, although they do make me a priority, but that is my only link to the outside world. I don't even have television, because it is just too expensive.

I realize this was an extremely lengthy post, but I thought that maybe it may help some of you understand better why some of these issue may happen.

Good luck to all of you.

I am so sorry to hear your story. It's heart breaking.
Luckily I live in Alberta Canada where there are special gov programs for the low income persons and disabled that covers the rent, utilities, medical bills, and prescriptions. University dental department does free dental and denture procedures.
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Old 03-27-2016, 08:50 AM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,655 posts, read 8,573,131 times
Reputation: 19863
Let me break in here, if you don't mind.

Are you a senior? Because I can find absolutely no one in the senior group around here who can address ANYTHING Emerson might have said. (I have never read Thoreau) Part of the problem is that I am in the Bible Belt, so all conversations among more than 3 people gets redirected back to what is said in the Bible, and the discussion quickly evaporates.

Is it just around here, in the South? It makes me crazy that most of our conversation gravitates toward college football, the Bible, and the people in our town.
Or is it like that most places?

Last edited by Marka; 04-01-2016 at 01:10 AM..
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