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Old 03-27-2016, 09:12 AM
 
22 posts, read 13,389 times
Reputation: 89

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Originally Posted by newcomputer View Post
I would get out more if my dog didn't hate to ride in the car
I think my beautiful shelties are better company than a lot of people I know. My generation loves to be negative and complain...
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Old 03-27-2016, 10:03 AM
 
6,351 posts, read 4,782,330 times
Reputation: 13043
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
Let me break in here, if you don't mind.

Are you a senior? Because I can find absolutely no one in the senior group around here who can address ANYTHING Emerson might have said. (I have never read Thoreau) Part of the problem is that I am in the Bible Belt, so all conversations among more than 3 people gets redirected back to what is said in the Bible, and the discussion quickly evaporates.

Is it just around here, in the South? It makes me crazy that most of our conversation gravitates toward college football, the Bible, and the people in our town.
Or is it like that most places?
My condolences.


I spent a long, long 18 months in Little Rock back in the '70s. I moved there because of a job and could not wait to leave. My first week living in Arkansas I thought there was an emergency evacuation. Turns out it was just Family Night at the local Church. Back in that era was even worse than today. It seemed a great many people there still believed the world was created as is about 6000 years ago. Some I think also thought the world was flat. There is certainly no way to discuss or argue about those sorts of beliefs, or should I call them interpretations?
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Old 03-27-2016, 10:49 AM
 
11,558 posts, read 8,487,412 times
Reputation: 7144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
Let me break in here, if you don't mind.

Are you a senior? Because I can find absolutely no one in the senior group around here who can address ANYTHING Emerson might have said. (I have never read Thoreau) Part of the problem is that I am in the Bible Belt, so all conversations among more than 3 people gets redirected back to what is said in the Bible, and the discussion quickly evaporates.

Is it just around here, in the South? It makes me crazy that most of our conversation gravitates toward college football, the Bible, and the people in our town.
Or is it like that most places?
You need to be hanging with the Unitarian Universalist.
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Old 03-27-2016, 10:54 AM
 
6,382 posts, read 5,105,233 times
Reputation: 12946
I was outside enjoying the nice sun and watering my veggies and remembered something.

It kind of goes with this thread. Went out to eat with my older female friends and they talked about their family and kids. They like visiting every now and then and like having them come over, but want them to leave and not hang around.

They enjoy being alone in their homes. They don't even like to spend the night at their kids' houses. They just want to be left alone at home. Neither has a male partner hanging around.
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Old 03-27-2016, 02:40 PM
 
22 posts, read 13,389 times
Reputation: 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by Listener2307 View Post
Let me break in here, if you don't mind.

Are you a senior? Because I can find absolutely no one in the senior group around here who can address ANYTHING Emerson might have said. (I have never read Thoreau) Part of the problem is that I am in the Bible Belt, so all conversations among more than 3 people gets redirected back to what is said in the Bible, and the discussion quickly evaporates.

Is it just around here, in the South? It makes me crazy that most of our conversation gravitates toward college football, the Bible, and the people in our town.
Or is it like that most places?
I had to laugh, not disrespectfully at all, but my family comes from the South, raised by Southerners in CA. Talk about lifestyle clashing, ha. But it was sports, politics, religion and what's wrong with the neighbors, ha. Mostly in that order, ha. I came from learned people who read extensively, but most convo's were highly predictable. I lived for a spell in CO and mostly it was convo's on the military and what it was or wasn't doing. I moved to LDS country, though I am not LDS. I did have a branch in the family that was, and you want FUR to fly, get Southern Baptists and LDS in the same room and have a death/funeral and there goes WWIII on where the dearly departed is or isn't.

I have come to appreciate Thoreau more and more as I age...simplify...and add for goodness sake, we all come into this planet the same, we all will exit, so in the meantime, try to get along. Or if you can't be kind, kindly SHUT UP.
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Old 03-29-2016, 09:32 PM
 
4 posts, read 5,207 times
Reputation: 16
My company was sold and they let all of the Corporate office go. I am going crazy sitting in this house but since I don't drive I have no choice unless I walk 3 blocks to catch the bus. I don't have a problem with that because it gives me some exercise. My other issue is now that I am not working my kids think I should be babysitting all day. I do not want to become that woman, the one that watches the grandkids and knits all day. I already told them that they better not get use to it because I plan on getting another job. My Mom worked well into her 70's and I plan to do the same.
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Old 03-30-2016, 12:26 AM
 
Location: Gulf Coast
1,168 posts, read 657,174 times
Reputation: 2274
Thoreau. Oh, give me a break. When I read him I thought he was the biggest bag of wind.... our Father of Conservation or whatever bathed in the lake and from what I read didn't have an outhouse... and walked down to relatives or friends and ate meals with them - what a mooch! Was not impressed.

We all have different personalities. Some are introverts, some extroverts. Why does that change after retirement? I've already acknowledged to myself that I'm an introvert and once retired will have to force myself not to become a recluse. I will work on that. But if I want to just chill out and stay home, that's what I'll do some of the time.

Health problems, difficulty getting around, depression, poor eye sight, money issues, all contribute. And our basic personality. I don't judge what another person does.
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Old 03-30-2016, 03:05 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,788,557 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat Answers View Post
....................

We all have different personalities. Some are introverts, some extroverts. Why does that change after retirement? I've already acknowledged to myself that I'm an introvert and once retired will have to force myself not to become a recluse. I will work on that. But if I want to just chill out and stay home, that's what I'll do some of the time.

Health problems, difficulty getting around, depression, poor eye sight, money issues, all contribute. And our basic personality. I don't judge what another person does.
You wrote a thoughtful and intelligent analysis - a good exposition of the other side of the coin and a good summary of reasons contributing to people being shut-ins. However, I cannot help but come to the conclusion (judgment?) that being a shut-in is sad. I try to imagine someone who never leaves the four walls of his or her house or apartment and first, I cannot imagine that such a life would be truly satisfying, and therefore second, I feel sorry for that person.

Sure, there are interesting and worthwhile things one can do at home, and you have plenty of company in wanting to "just chill out and stay home,.....some of the time." The key is what I bolded, "some of the time". I like to read, and I like to discuss concepts and ideas on City-Data, and I do that at home. The subject of the thread is shut-ins, which means they are home all of the time.

I do get it that introverts prefer their interactions with other people in small doses. O.K. But isn't there still a desire for an occasional change of scenery? Being outdoors once in a while, especially in decent weather, is a near universal desire, is it not? Visiting a museum by oneself involves very close to zero interaction with other people, for example. Ditto for taking a drive to a nice park and going for a walk in the park. Ditto for going to a concert, or to the opera (by oneself).

Let's take the case of someone who has macular degeneration and is almost blind. Who could "blame" such a person for being a shut-in, or nearly so? But it's still sad - it's not a desirable condition. That is my "judgment" of the situation.
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Old 03-30-2016, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Gulf Coast
1,168 posts, read 657,174 times
Reputation: 2274
I do agree, being a complete shut-in is sad. It really narrows one's life. I will watch that I do not become like that.

This past weekend over the holiday we took a 3-hour trip and stayed with relatives 3 days and 3 nights. It was wonderful. Got to see 16 different people, all relatives and friends. So refreshing. When we got back home and I got a good rest, I felt very rejuvenated and happy and anxious to get going with things I'd been neglecting. It does help one's outlook to get out and see a little more of the world.

I'll just bet people who are shut-ins suffer some depression, and maybe that could lift a bit if they got out sometimes. I used to visit a lady in a nursing home who had mobility issues and never got out. She had noone but me and 1 other lady come to visit, all her family had died off. I used to feel very bad for her and she was questioning why she was still living at all. It was very sad.
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Old 08-02-2016, 09:08 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
898 posts, read 1,250,896 times
Reputation: 771
What about women who are reclusive even within their own homes?
For example a mother/grandmother who seems to hold back and doesn't have anything to say when visitors come over, but just nods and smiles...
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