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Old 03-22-2016, 11:45 AM
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,455 posts, read 1,688,418 times
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Originally Posted by katie45 View Post
And on the flip side: there are many retirees who do get out and about but their 'watchful" neighbors aren't watching at the times they come and go.

I have so much going on in my retirement I never really paid any attention.
Probably the same people that noticed if you wore the same outfit twice in a week at work and are retired now.

I had one more thought on this. Some relationships have an enabler that will do all the things the other doesn't want to do. These women staying in have a partner that's allowing it to happen if there is no physical or mental deterrents. It becomes a pattern/habit after a while. The side benefit is the partner that's out and about can complain about their partner and be a martyr all at the same time. I take these stories from husbands and wives with a grain of salt, I want to hear the other side, but never will.
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Old 03-22-2016, 11:54 AM
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
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I can understand how people (not just women) who retire can just stay inside and not venture out because I could easily be one of them.

Before people retire, I think it is important to decide on what activities will be part of daily life. I think it is easier to follow through if you have an idea.

I decided that I would spend most of my time at the Y and getting in better shape. Working 12 hours a day did not inspire me to get out and exercise at the end of the work day. I also knew that I would take cooking and baking classes, do some traveling, and I hoped to do some volunteering.

I do all of the above and more, but I did not plan on being seriously injured playing pickleball. I am now also in recovery mode. When someone is seriously injured, they are always expecting something else to happen to them. Some of them are just tired from working all of their lives.

If family and friends are concerned, they need to step in and find interesting things for their loved one to do. Once people get out and start doing some fun things, more fun things follow.
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Old 03-22-2016, 12:04 PM
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I can see that happening to me. My social circle has disbanded, people have moved, people have died, it's hard to make friends here. My interests are sewing, and crocheting and embroidery. I spend a great deal of time alone. That's maybe the biggest reason I still work.

I'm 56.

That's also why I want to move back east -- family is there and that will keep me busy, also some friends moved back so we'll have a social circle again.
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Old 03-22-2016, 12:32 PM
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
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My home is amazing and fabulous.

I don't leave unless I have to and I'm not retired.
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Old 03-22-2016, 12:43 PM
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Adding: There seem to be a fair number of women -- young AND old -- who just aren't used to going out and doing things alone; without a companion by their side, they think they "can't" go or it seems overwhelming, embarrassing, or not enjoyable, so they don't bother. I agree that it's great to have the inner peace to be happy at home; always having to be ripping and running usually belies an unquiet spirit or lack of comfort with one's own company.
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Old 03-22-2016, 12:57 PM
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I have never known seniors that act like this. My grandmothers were both heading out all the time to church events and shopping and chatting with friends and neighbors. My grandmother once had a stroke and drove her car into the backyard, and when my aunt found her and tried to get her to come out of the car, she was smacking her away insisting that she needed to get to her card game. Even my aunt and uncle who were a very insular couple were heading out to go shopping and visit family and go to church.

My parents, now divorced, are 69 and 84 and both have social lives far more active than my own.

Actually, there is one woman I know who is a senior and rarely goes out of her own volition. She has some mental health issues with anxiety and does not drive, but one son lives with her and all her children get her out of the house regularly.

I suspect this phenomenon is most common among people who are financially strapped, have mental health issues, lack a social network or cannot drive. And since I was in New Jersey, I suspect it has a lot to do with how rural or isolated their housing is.
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Old 03-22-2016, 01:03 PM
Location: Albuquerque NM
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I can also see myself becoming a shut-in. I'm an introvert and a homebody and am becoming more reclusive with age. While I work during the week, most weekends I don't even leave the house.
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Old 03-22-2016, 01:04 PM
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,783 posts, read 26,856,400 times
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My parents are in there late 70's and are very busy with life. No yard work anymore for them since they put in synthetic grass. My mom teaches women and girls from Church how to make pizza, bake, and cook from home. She has fun with it. My dad makes sure that someone is there to make sure they made it right. This is not a full time thing but it is something she does for fun. My dad has written 3 books so far, has a wood shop that he builds things in. They both spend time visiting friends and hanging out in the mall. They live in Surprise Arizona but not in the almost dead, age appropriate housing tracts. They live in an all age subdivision. Since they are one of the first home owners on the street, and they know most of the people on their street, they enjoy time with the neighbors, have neighborhood parties and and other functions.
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Old 03-22-2016, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
BTW - the NEXT generation of women won't be in the malls - they're shopping online....and "serious activity" just may last a lot longer than you think...if the guy is able and willing. What is "non-serious" activity, anyway?

I see lots and lots of teenage girls shopping at the local mall.

Into the 60's and 70's, I see many single women who give up looking for male companions. It is harder once the looks go, but regardless the odds are not good. For every mixed event I attend, women seem to out number men by 3 to 1 and I guess that does not even count those we are talking about who rarely leave the house.
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Old 03-22-2016, 02:33 PM
Location: Backwoods of Maine
7,125 posts, read 8,186,359 times
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I wonder sometimes...you hear or read of older folks who live in cluttered apartments or houses that have not seen company in a decade. If you go out and get around, you make friends, and oftimes you visit each other's homes. If your place is a mess, well...nobody is welcome, are they?

And then these days, it is so easy to live one's life on the computer. In my mother's day, there was just TV, but there were home shopping networks, and with credit card in hand, she ordered up a storm. She couldn't even open the boxes. After she passed, her front room was packed with unopened cartons.
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