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Old 03-23-2016, 01:33 PM
 
6,323 posts, read 5,064,142 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I went to physical therapy yesterday, recovering from a fall down some stairs in January.

The therapist was talking to a woman, explaining something about the way her neck works and so why he had given her the exercise he had given her. After she left, he told me she is 93 years old and very angry that she cannot climb up and reach things in her high cabinets the way she used to. Her arms didn't stretch as well anymore. She wants to know WHY everything doesn't work the way it once did because she feels as if she should still be able to do everything.
yeah - isn't that crazy!! I just hope I am not that way when I get older. A man has to know his limitations! A woman too.

Someone told me about a group trip they took last year. One of the group members was 94 or so. They thought it was wonderful that he was still traveling. I guess they figured he was fully functional, since he wasn't going with a companion.

It turned out to be a nightmare because they turned into quasi care givers/minders for the old guy. He wasn't as spry as he thought he was in his own mind.

The older gals I hang out with all want to do their own thing too, but I see them limping around with aches and pains. I just shake my head. Why hurt yourself doing some dirty exhausting yard work. At least do it while you are out having a good time!! LOL

As for the old lady in the OP - did the doctor tell her she couldn't do those things because she was OLD??
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Old 03-23-2016, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,130 posts, read 54,613,656 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
yeah - isn't that crazy!! I just hope I am not that way when I get older. A man has to know his limitations! A woman too.

Someone told me about a group trip they took last year. One of the group members was 94 or so. They thought it was wonderful that he was still traveling. I guess they figured he was fully functional, since he wasn't going with a companion.

It turned out to be a nightmare because they turned into quasi care givers/minders for the old guy. He wasn't as spry as he thought he was in his own mind.

The older gals I hang out with all want to do their own thing too, but I see them limping around with aches and pains. I just shake my head. Why hurt yourself doing some dirty exhausting yard work. At least do it while you are out having a good time!! LOL

As for the old lady in the OP - did the doctor tell her she couldn't do those things because she was OLD??
I think he did, but in a much nicer way than that. He had to tell her that our bodies change as we age and we get different limitations--the same as he told me (57) when I complained about getting weaker and feeling as if my muscles atrophied in six weeks after my fall. We lose our strength more quickly, apparently. I have always been fairly strong, and I was dismayed to find out how wimpy I'd become.

His response to that was to give new and more difficult exercises to build up strength. Squats yesterday. My butt hurts today.

My mother is 87. She had a quadruple bypass last September, and she's made a pretty good recovery, and that finally got her to a place where she doesn't try to do everything herself. She lost weight and needed new clothing, so she asked me to accompany her to the store so I could run around and get different sizes for her to try on. In the past, even a year or so ago, she would never have asked one of us to help her shop for clothes.
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Old 03-23-2016, 02:28 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,764 posts, read 7,828,996 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nor'Eastah View Post
One lady my wife knows had the police show up at her door. She hadn't called them; a neighbor did. The neighbor said that her front window was broken; it wasn't. The police bombarded her with questions: did she live alone? was she diabetic? how close was her family? A couple days later, a woman from the town hall came by and wanted to do an "assessment". She walked right into the house and started taking notes. Turns out, this lady had too high an income to "qualify" for town "services". She never asked for any, and was perplexed about the whole incident.
Sounds like someone wants her property!
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Old 03-23-2016, 02:39 PM
 
6,323 posts, read 5,064,142 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fox Terrier View Post
Sounds like someone wants her property!
The wife only knows one side of the story - the "victim". Who knows what is really going on. Maybe she has been acting weird, but doesn't know it and the neighbors are concerned. That is one thing that can happen when you get old. Your reality can be distorted.
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Old 03-23-2016, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,747,361 times
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Default This topic has so many aspects and facets!

This fascinating thread has shown the thread topic to be broader and more complex than stated, as it can involve men as well as women and younger people as well as older people.

One reason people can be near hermits (recluses) at any age is being at the extreme introversion end of the introversion/extroversion spectrum. I remember reading a couple of threads about that in another City-Data forum, probably Psychology. I was amazed by the degree to which a few posters sought to eliminate human contact. For example one talked about doing grocery shopping only where there were self checkout lines; even the minimal pleasantries we exchange with a cashier were to be avoided if possible.

Of course if the hermit/recluse did not have those tendencies previously, then there are different dynamics at work, one of which being the possibility of the beginning of Alzheimer's disease, as stated by another poster.
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Old 03-23-2016, 05:46 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,764 posts, read 7,828,996 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
The wife only knows one side of the story - the "victim". Who knows what is really going on. Maybe she has been acting weird, but doesn't know it and the neighbors are concerned. That is one thing that can happen when you get old. Your reality can be distorted.
That could be true. It's just the first thing that popped into my head. I watch too many true crime shows! haha
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Old 03-23-2016, 05:58 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,764 posts, read 7,828,996 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
This fascinating thread has shown the thread topic to be broader and more complex than stated, as it can involve men as well as women and younger people as well as older people.

One reason people can be near hermits (recluses) at any age is being at the extreme introversion end of the introversion/extroversion spectrum.
I tend to be introverted; always have been. I'd rather watch and observe, and I'm not really comfortable at a party or among a crowd.

Another reason someone might want to avoid contact is because they have been hurt by many people. They are afraid that the next person who wants to get closer to them is just another hurt.

Personally, I've had quite a few 'friend' requests here on C-D but I haven't responded to any of them. I remember the first one I got; my immediate reaction was a pounding of the heart and the thought 'what do they mean, friend?'.

Silly, I know...but I'm not so bad that I can't exchange pleasantries with a cashier!
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Old 03-23-2016, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Washington state
450 posts, read 374,070 times
Reputation: 637
lot of good reasons listed so I won't repeat them, but will offer up two in our families that IMHO are reclusive for sadder reasons:

1) shut-in since mid 50s but even worse now in her 60s. controlling abusive husband that she won't divorce, and things just got worse after she stopped driving. A lot of it is mental because her physical ability to drive is there meaning she's not seizure prone or amputee or anything like that, but once you stop at that age fear takes over.

2) semi-shut in since about age 65 but this one is a man. Used to be quite independent, we were quite shocked he stopped driving so young and started relying on younger spouse to the point of being ridiculous, won't even drive locally to the store anymore so more and more under the control of 3rd wife

In both cases the spouses seem to relish the control of being the sole driver and haven't encouraged the shut-ins to become more sociable or independent.
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Old 03-23-2016, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque NM
1,661 posts, read 1,527,824 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misscross View Post

In both cases the spouses seem to relish the control of being the sole driver and haven't encouraged the shut-ins to become more sociable or independent.
It always bothers me when couples in retirement decide to switch to one car to save money. This seems to be a surefire way for the wife to lose her independence or at least her ability for highway driving. And I've known couples in their 80's where he did all the driving but then dies and she is left alone and has very bad, unsafe driving skills. Many years ago, one of my co-workers told me of an argument she had with her husband as he insisted on doing all the driving on trips. Her response was, "Do you want me to be like my mother who can no longer drive on highways and interstates?" Her mom was in her 60's.
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Old 03-23-2016, 06:52 PM
 
635 posts, read 405,350 times
Reputation: 3608
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retire in MB View Post
Okay, I'll admit it - some days the biggest deterrent to going out is having to put on a bra.
OMG! too funny! Cancer sucks. that being said, my silver lining to breast cancer with double mastectomy and reconstruction, is that I never have to wear a bra. especially since I did not get nipple reconstruction [just some nice, 3d looking tattoos.
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