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Old 03-30-2016, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Nebraska
4,235 posts, read 7,274,325 times
Reputation: 6705

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jontwin4 View Post
My husband died suddenly two weeks ago at age 60. He was the main breadwinner. I am 55 with job skills that will not increase my Social Security (I will do better with his), but I think I can support myself and my adult daughter with a disability on Social Security (mother with child-in-care plus my daughter's survivor portion) by continuing to work in jobs that rarely offer 401Ks. There won't be much, if anything, left to save. My worry is that since my husband can't max his Social Security as we had hoped (both parents lived close to age 90), my daughter and I may not have enough to survive when I can no longer work. Hopefully, I can work well into my 60s, even until age 70. I will own our home, or nearly own it, and will have the $400,000 IRA my husband and I had saved so far. In addition, the estimated total Social Security would be $36,000 annually. I could live well into my 80s. Our 401K doesn't grow much and our house appreciation has been flat for four years. Is 20 years long enough to hopefully experience some growth in what we have already? I wish I didn't have to do this without him. I wish I had gone instead of him.
i am sorry for your loss.
Going through the grieving process and facing a change in finances is stressful. You may have to make adjustments. To start off with you might want to consider a change in residence. There are websites online that allow you to compare salaries and costs of living in different cities/states around the country. I think SSI and SSDI benefits are basically
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Old 03-30-2016, 08:28 AM
 
9,022 posts, read 2,789,583 times
Reputation: 5506
Jontwin4, I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope you have friends and family who can help you through this time of grief.

I agree with the others about taking time to process all that has happened. I know you must be in a panic, but as much as you can, please try not to make any drastic decisions initially.

Wishing you and your daughter peace and comfort in the coming days and months.
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Old 03-30-2016, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Nebraska
4,235 posts, read 7,274,325 times
Reputation: 6705
. . . sorry for the incomplete post earlier but my three month old kittens walked across my key board and submitted my message early.
cont. . . I think SSI and SSDI benefits are basically equal from State to State. So if you live in an area with a high cost of living you might want to consider selling your house and moving to an area where you can buy a house of equal value for a lot less money and taking any capital gains and investing them in an income producing investment. EDUCATE yourself in money management before you make any major decisions though.
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Old 03-30-2016, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,689 posts, read 3,260,089 times
Reputation: 12022
jontwin4, I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what a shock that was for you. And I can only imagine the fear that you felt along with the grief.

I am not a financial whiz by any stretch, but there are several posters who will add their posts here and the info they give you will be worth paying attention to.

Right now, you need to do the grieving everyone has said, take care of yourself. Try to rest. See your doctor if you are not sleeping or eating.

From what others have said here, you have time to get everything figured out. God bless you.
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Old 03-30-2016, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,531 posts, read 8,784,204 times
Reputation: 12240
You'll do fine. Just keep working and saving.
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Old 03-30-2016, 12:19 PM
 
13,695 posts, read 13,628,165 times
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I am so sorry for your loss. I think you actually could be set up quite comfortably. What sort of disability does your daughter have? I ask because it could have an impact on how you plan for the future financially. Also, what is your skill set? The job market is constantly changing. For example, I have a friend who is making really good money these days as an online personal assistant doing fairly easy tasks. Not a job that existed a decade ago.

I would do the following:
-Keep working

-Have a plan in place for your daughter should you pass. Are their group homes that would be good for her? Is there a relative who could care for her? Is there any chance of her learning a skill and so that she can be more independent?

-Downsize. I don't know how others feel about this advice, but I think selling your house and moving into a small 2-bedroom apartment would probably be best. Maintenance costs and responsibilities can be a real drain, and you have a lot on your plate. I would put the money in a trust for your daughter if that is possible.

-Do NOT be tempted to add more risk to your 401(k) assets to maximize returns. That can backfire. Make sure the portfolio risk is adjusted properly to account for your liabilities.

-Read up on investing (I recommend John Bogle's books) and then see a financial advisor and a lawyer who works in estate planning. But vet all potential candidates very carefully.

If you just keep yourself in the right headspace, I think you will be fine.
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Old 03-30-2016, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,973 posts, read 5,321,927 times
Reputation: 18060
So much depends on where you live. Are your real estate taxes $500 a year or $500 a month? COL means everything. At your income you can live great in some areas and not too good in others. No one can give you specific advice without much more info.
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Old 03-30-2016, 03:36 PM
 
Location: The sleepy part of New York City
1,970 posts, read 1,215,545 times
Reputation: 4353
I am so very sorry for your loss.

I'm not a widow but I can only imagine what you're going through right now. It's one of my fears actually as my husband is not in the best of health.

The only advice I can comfortably offer you is don't make any major life changing decisions now. You can afford to wait. Wait until your mind is clearer.

Another thing is if you do go to an accountant or financial planner, or even the Social Security office please take a trusted friend with you. Sometimes when your mind is swirling you can't concentrate fully and you may not remember what was said.

hugs.. Ellie
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Old 03-30-2016, 03:54 PM
 
13,695 posts, read 13,628,165 times
Reputation: 39929
Quote:
Originally Posted by elliedeee View Post
I am so very sorry for your loss.

I'm not a widow but I can only imagine what you're going through right now. It's one of my fears actually as my husband is not in the best of health.

The only advice I can comfortably offer you is don't make any major life changing decisions now. You can afford to wait. Wait until your mind is clearer.

Another thing is if you do go to an accountant or financial planner, or even the Social Security office please take a trusted friend with you. Sometimes when your mind is swirling you can't concentrate fully and you may not remember what was said.

hugs.. Ellie
Yes, this is a very good idea. But make sure it is someone who is rational about financial stuff. I had to talk my mother out of putting her retirement savings entirely into silver a while ago because she got an alarmist email from a friend who happened to be a lawyer (but also a financial idiot). I don't think you'd get sucked into something like that, OP, but if someone has strident opinions and voices them while you're in turmoil, it can affect you.
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Old 03-30-2016, 04:24 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,338 posts, read 4,894,543 times
Reputation: 21755
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Mine passed 5 1/2 years ago and my household income was cut by 2/3rds. I made some stupid decisions waiting for his military pension to kick in so don't rush into anything until you feel up to it. Deal with your grief first.
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