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Old 03-30-2016, 02:49 AM
 
81 posts, read 67,690 times
Reputation: 111

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My husband died suddenly two weeks ago at age 60. He was the main breadwinner. I am 55 with job skills that will not increase my Social Security (I will do better with his), but I think I can support myself and my adult daughter with a disability on Social Security (mother with child-in-care plus my daughter's survivor portion) by continuing to work in jobs that rarely offer 401Ks. There won't be much, if anything, left to save. My worry is that since my husband can't max his Social Security as we had hoped (both parents lived close to age 90), my daughter and I may not have enough to survive when I can no longer work. Hopefully, I can work well into my 60s, even until age 70. I will own our home, or nearly own it, and will have the $400,000 IRA my husband and I had saved so far. In addition, the estimated total Social Security would be $36,000 annually. I could live well into my 80s. Our 401K doesn't grow much and our house appreciation has been flat for four years. Is 20 years long enough to hopefully experience some growth in what we have already? I wish I didn't have to do this without him. I wish I had gone instead of him.
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Old 03-30-2016, 03:00 AM
 
Location: Backwoods of Maine
7,116 posts, read 8,160,025 times
Reputation: 18774
First, please accept my condolences for your tragic loss. Such things are never helpful, and always cause more anxiety than people should have to deal with.

Hopefully, your husband life you with life insurance. Almost anything at all, beyond simple burial, should be counted among your assets. I cannot imagine him not having a generous policy, given your daughter's issues.

Whatever the case, panic will not help it. I suggest you get all your records together, and sit down with a financial planner. Things may not be as bleak as you imagine. It never hurts to consult with a knowledgeable person.

I wish you best of luck!
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Old 03-30-2016, 04:38 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,615 posts, read 39,986,663 times
Reputation: 23772
So sorry for your lose, and yes, looks like you depended on him as provider, so I trust he retained a good Life Insurance policy (income replacement for wage earner is minimal for those still 'planning').

We have a couple excellent and informed posters for SSA and coverages, I trust that they will soon comment for you. You should be in decent shape from SSA perspective.

BE SURE to get an estate / trust planner to imediately assure YOU have coverage as caregiver to your daughter.

Don't jump to any conclusions, or make quick decisions. We trust this will work out fine for your family. Enlist a very confident and confidential friend who can make rational choices on your behalf. DO NOT BECOME SHARK-BAIT!!! Your phone is certainly ringing already.

Take your time, for healing and choices.

We will be with you through this ordeal. It is very nice we have few 'flamers' on this forum. Ignore' works very well for the two I find unhelpful.
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Old 03-30-2016, 05:37 AM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,938,980 times
Reputation: 6716
What a terrible loss.

I immediately noted that you have a rather large IRA. I do too. I have told my husband that the second thing he must do ASAP if I die after disposing of my body is to check about what to do with my IRA. There are some things you can do with IRAs after the owner dies. And - IIRC - people often have more than 1 option. There are time limits/deadlines involved. I assume you are the beneficiary on your husband's IRA (but that may not be the case). If you don't have an accountant - get one. Find out what your options are - what's best for you - and how to implement that best option. Robyn
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Old 03-30-2016, 06:33 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,797 posts, read 7,712,915 times
Reputation: 15087
I sorry about your husband, but I can't see why your worried. You're apparently healthy so you can work for years to come. You have 400K saved and close to paying off your house. That sounds pretty healthy and a lot better off than most people. Be glad your husband did so well to take care of you before he died.
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Old 03-30-2016, 06:38 AM
 
Location: Close to an earthquake
890 posts, read 678,100 times
Reputation: 2390
I'm so sorry to learn of your loss and my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

Previous advice is spot on but you'll have to be prepared to make cost-effective use of professional help. You'll need a good estimate of your annual living expenses moving forward so a simple family budget worksheet where you drop numbers to arrive at an annual total is a must. You can have multiple versions such as the "lean and mean" version and the desired version so that you have a range of annual expenses.

A good financial planner numbers cruncher will use this information, along with assumptions about inflation and investment rate of returns to see how long, if at all, before your retirement assets "go red" and then compare that future point in time to what your age would be if you're blessed to continue being alive.

This number-crunching process will give you a sense of comfort that, for me, is much better than the approach many people use of licking their finger and then doing some math in the air and in their mind's eye.

My best to you in your pursuits. Be strong, grieve and mourn because it's necessary and then honor your deceased husband by how you live the rest of your life.
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Old 03-30-2016, 06:42 AM
 
753 posts, read 706,819 times
Reputation: 1175
Jontwin4, so sorry. I am a widow too so please take this to heart.

Take time to just breathe. Don't do anything financial for a bit. Really, I know things are swirling in your head and you feel you must sort it all out now to settle it, but do not.
Many financial decisions made now are not the best and they can be permanent.

We are vulnerable at this stage and an easy target for the not so ethical- and even well meaning family members.

Make an appointment to go to your SS office. You can get all your information on SS etc there from them. You don't have to commit to a thing, just tell them what happened and get the info. I found them to be extremely helpful. After thinking about their info, I went back later to sign up for benefits.

A fee only financial planner can be a great asset in the coming months. You might check out some in your area.

The pain in your heart and your head will calm down eventually. The fear will subside over time. Hang in there sweetie.
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Old 03-30-2016, 07:13 AM
 
662 posts, read 479,310 times
Reputation: 1690
I'm sorry for your loss. Do take time to grieve.

Another thing to consider is to not make any life changing decisions (money or otherwise) for one year. It's a common bit of advice in such circumstances, as one needs to not only grieve, but also come out of the grief zone a bit before changing anything. Your thinking will be different then.

The experts here will come in to help, but, imo, $36k a year in addition to $400k means you will be fine, although medical may be an issue, and I'm not sure what your daughter's needs are.

Breathe. You have time. Don't jump into anything or make any changes now. Let time do it's thing.

Best to you, and again, I'm sorry for your loss.
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Old 03-30-2016, 07:31 AM
 
Location: Prosper
6,268 posts, read 12,921,786 times
Reputation: 9377
Quote:
Originally Posted by jontwin4 View Post
My husband died suddenly two weeks ago at age 60. He was the main breadwinner. I am 55 with job skills that will not increase my Social Security (I will do better with his), but I think I can support myself and my adult daughter with a disability on Social Security (mother with child-in-care plus my daughter's survivor portion) by continuing to work in jobs that rarely offer 401Ks. There won't be much, if anything, left to save. My worry is that since my husband can't max his Social Security as we had hoped (both parents lived close to age 90), my daughter and I may not have enough to survive when I can no longer work. Hopefully, I can work well into my 60s, even until age 70. I will own our home, or nearly own it, and will have the $400,000 IRA my husband and I had saved so far. In addition, the estimated total Social Security would be $36,000 annually. I could live well into my 80s. Our 401K doesn't grow much and our house appreciation has been flat for four years. Is 20 years long enough to hopefully experience some growth in what we have already? I wish I didn't have to do this without him. I wish I had gone instead of him.
You will be just fine.

I am sorry for your loss, and I know everything probably seems overwhelming right now. That is normal and perfectly ok. Your financial situation sounds much better than a lot of people, however, so there's no need to worry right now.

Take some time, and learn to adjust to this new change in your life before you make any major financial decisions. One of the things I would recommend then would be to look at downsizing your home and taking a look at your expenses and begin finding ways to reduce them where possible. If you live in a $350k home for example, and owe $100k, think about downsizing to a $250k home and eliminate your mortgage. Also consider where you live. If the COL is high there, since you are no longer tied to the area because of your husband's job, you may want to move to a lower COL area.

Good luck OP.
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Old 03-30-2016, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,056 posts, read 17,376,569 times
Reputation: 41504
Quote:
Originally Posted by crusinsusan View Post
I'm sorry for your loss. Do take time to grieve.

Another thing to consider is to not make any life changing decisions (money or otherwise) for one year. It's a common bit of advice in such circumstances, as one needs to not only grieve, but also come out of the grief zone a bit before changing anything. Your thinking will be different then.

The experts here will come in to help, but, imo, $36k a year in addition to $400k means you will be fine, although medical may be an issue, and I'm not sure what your daughter's needs are.

Breathe. You have time. Don't jump into anything or make any changes now. Let time do it's thing.

Best to you, and again, I'm sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss.

I agree that you need to take your time before making major changes or decisions.

I have seen new widows/widowers making horrible life changing moves while they were still in the depths of their grief (things like putting their house on the market or moving within days of the funeral, or being remarried within weeks of the death of their spouse, or putting their entire retirement savings into the name of an adult child).
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