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Old 04-08-2016, 01:11 PM
 
5,419 posts, read 3,440,673 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post
As for living in NC, I do love it and live in a lovely area. The problem is it is so lovely I could become a hermit here, so I need a place where it is encouraging to be more social, plus where I can continue learning and developing as an individual as well.
luv4horses, I'm struck by your post. You are living in an area you love, a lovely area, and you have horses....but you still find problems or deficits with it in the realm of sociability and isolation from enough relationships.

(I need to go back and read posts again, but I thought you mentioned having contacts with others who have horses)

I'm thinking that social isolation or isolation from meaningful relationships or a lack of just having enough contacts is part of the lives of many older people....and much more than many are willing to admit.

It's pretty easy to become too isolated as an older person.....even living among the best of circumstances as you do with horses you love and a beautiful area you love.

I think it's a perpetual challenge as an older person. Many of us think a different geographic locale may serve us better in several psychological or personal areas of living, and that may be true, but your post points out that even in the best of geographic areas for some needs of living, other needs are not met. Which may speak to that adage of 'we take ourselves with us wherever we go.' Although certain geographic areas certainly do not meet all personal needs. (I do not mean that personally to you...just to all older people who find all of their needs not being met)

Last edited by volosong; 02-04-2017 at 07:03 PM.. Reason: Inserted missing opening quote hypertag
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Old 04-08-2016, 08:52 PM
 
700 posts, read 537,876 times
Reputation: 544
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post
As for living in NC, I do love it and live in a lovely area. The problem is it is so lovely I could become a hermit here, so I need a place where it is encouraging to be more social, plus where I can continue learning and developing as an individual as well.
luv4horses, I'm struck by your post. You are living in an area you love, a lovely area, and you have horses....but you still find problems or deficits with it in the realm of sociability and isolation from enough relationships.

(I need to go back and read posts again, but I thought you mentioned having contacts with others who have horses)

I'm thinking that social isolation or isolation from meaningful relationships or a lack of just having enough contacts is part of the lives of many older people....and much more than many are willing to admit.

It's pretty easy to become too isolated as an older person.....even living among the best of circumstances as you do with horses you love and a beautiful area you love.

I think it's a perpetual challenge as an older person. Many of us think a different geographic locale may serve us better in several psychological or personal areas of living, and that may be true, but your post points out that even in the best of geographic areas for some needs of living, other needs are not met. Which may speak to that adage of 'we take ourselves with us wherever we go.' Although certain geographic areas certainly do not meet all personal needs. (I do not mean that personally to you...just to all older people who find all of their needs not being met)[/quote]

***********

It's an interesting topic. I think I'm convinced at this point that there isn't a retirement location that "has it all." Beautiful scenery, low cost living, access to interesting activities that can be done on a solo basis, classes, clubs, volunteer opportunities, opportunities to interact with other people on a regular basis, and of course, great healthcare and a great transit system to get around when driving isn't an option. I don't know of anywhere that has all of that, and if it did exist, it would become prohibitively expensive when so many retirees moved in!

But, the issue of isolation for older adults is real. I live in a large apartment complex with mixed ages (from retirees to families to professionals to students). Just doing laundry or the daily "coming and going" in a place like this means you are bumping into someone all the time. There are downsides, of course, when it gets a bit noisy, but overall, there is plenty of opportunity for casual interactions, and for making friends. It works for me, but others may need more space, a yard, etc. I personally can't imagine living in a single family house, where I would feel isolated, not to mention the upkeep, repairs, etc.

I've always been able to enjoy my own company and in the past have taken international trips on my own, or with a tour, and also have fun going to a movie or out to eat on my own or with a friend. Coffee shops and libraries are also great places to be around others while reading or surfing on an iphone, rather than sitting at home. I've had mixed results with volunteering over the years, but a part-time job can be fun and a way to stay engaged with others. I have taken classes in the past, and regularly use a community recreation center in town, though it's become more crowded over the years. Anyway, I think it's important to stay engaged with others on some level and find an environment that is supportive, especially for solo retirees.

Last edited by volosong; 02-04-2017 at 07:04 PM.. Reason: attributed quote to correct poster
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Old 04-08-2016, 09:01 PM
 
Location: Pac. NW
2,021 posts, read 1,519,998 times
Reputation: 3601
Ashland, Oregon.
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Old 04-10-2016, 07:00 PM
 
700 posts, read 537,876 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy64 View Post
Ashland, Oregon.
Oregon taxes are usually considered pretty steep for retirees, but it's a beautiful state with gorgeous scenery. I've not been to the city of Ashland. How large is it? Are there a lot of retirees?
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Old 04-23-2016, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Wilmington NC
19 posts, read 17,734 times
Reputation: 68
Dear No More Snow,

Your description of yourself reminded me of -- me! Except no dog. Would you be willing to share with me the cities you're considering? I gave myself 3 years in Wilmington -- but I think that will be way too long.

One thing that just terrifies me is moving to a city where I don't know a soul. But I'm realizing that living in the wrong place is also frightening.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. I don't particularly mind snow, and am now wondering if I should've gone to Denver, which was something I was considering. Even though I was born in NC and lived here on and off for over 30 years, I cannot stand what NC has become.

Thank you,
JamieNYC
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Old 04-27-2016, 11:28 AM
 
Location: Ashland, Oregon
255 posts, read 132,427 times
Reputation: 484
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
I am a single female, 60 years old. I have learned that I need to live where there are a lot of classes I can take. Doesn't have to be a university town. Recreation classes, craft classes, group hikes, group bus tours. Things I can do without being a couple and where being a couple is not expected or required or considered. A senior center that offers ballroom dancing and pinochle is not going to cut it for me, either. I want to learn new and fun and interesting things in a group of strangers who are there to have fun as a group of strangers, and who aren't ready to think of themselves as people who do ballroom dancing and play pinochle LOL.

For instance, somewhere where I can take a class on how to cook Asian food, or learn flower arranging or collage or mosaics, line dancing, tai chi, etc. I want a recreation catalog that excites me every time a new one comes out because I know it will have something new to do in it.

I want to be able to join a bus day trip that will be going to see a matinee or to go to a museum, etc., as a group, where the group stops for lunch or dinner together.

I love joining a group of strangers to do this. I'm great at chatting with strangers in a classroom or on a bus tour. But, doing things alone is lonely. Just having museums and a theater, or beautiful hiking trails, or a farmer's market - where you go alone - is lonely.

I wouldn't expect to find anywhere where a single woman is welcomed with open arms by a group of couples. But, you can get to see the same people at the group trips and classes, and eventually maybe see them outside of the classes for coffee, etc. But, when I lived where I had these things, it was enough for me. I love joining a group and chatting with people, and then I'm glad to go home alone. But, if everything I do is alone, then I feel lonely.

I live now in a gorgeous place. I can walk across the street with my dog and be looking at the ocean within a 10 minute walk. I can drive to the giant redwood forest and walk with my dog. I can go to a movie theater by myself. I can go to the farmer's market by myself. I enjoy all of those things. But, it's not enough.

So, I'm in the process of saving money and getting on apartment waiting lists in a couple of larger city areas where there are all of the classes and group things I love to do. There will be a trade-off in traffic, hotter weather, and an area that's not as beautiful. But I know I'll be happier

I'm not a joiner, as group politics drive me nuts. I did try volunteering here at several places, and I either found them unwelcoming (mainly couples - some gay, some straight), or I didn't like the group politics. I do volunteer now delivering food from a restaurant to the food bank. I chat a little on both ends of my delivery, but the food bank is mainly about ministering (Christian) and I'm agnostic. I really like and respect them, but I don't hang out there, as I don't want to discuss religion.

A university town is not needed. What is needed for you, in my opinion, is a place with great classes and group tours you can join. Look for a place with a recreation and/or adult education catalogs that get you excited. And look to see if there are any day trip bus tours in the area. Sometimes these are through the senior or community centers or rec departments, but sometimes they are through private bus tour companies.

I'm looking out my window at beautiful mountains, and I'll take my dog for a walk at the beach today. But, all I can think about are the classes I'll be able to take when I move. I'm turning into a hermit up here in my beautiful retreat. And that's not good for me.

I wish you all the happiness in the world, and I hope you find somewhere you really love.
You may want to look into Ashland, Oregon. It has a very active OLLI program at the SOU; check it out. If you like that, the town is lovely, has the Shakespeare Festival and there are some lovely wineries in the area. Good luck in your search.
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Old 04-28-2016, 05:34 AM
 
2,447 posts, read 2,096,740 times
Reputation: 3564
I have never been to Ashland, but my daughter who lives in Portland (OR) mentioned it a few years ago as being a very cool, upscale town worth visiting and checking out. I have since heard it mentioned several times, all favorably.

As I recall though I think it is 3 to 4 hours drive from Portland or a major city-- and I dont recall anything stellar re health care/hospitals.
.If that is not accurate I hope someone pipes in here.
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Old 02-04-2017, 11:10 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,796 times
Reputation: 10
St Paul, MN...lots of retired experienced folks here...most Co-ops in the U.S....tons of sr. centers, w/lunches, exercise, music, dancing...bus tours, casino days...
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Old 02-05-2017, 01:02 AM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
7,224 posts, read 4,119,698 times
Reputation: 15530
Alaska. The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
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Old 02-05-2017, 03:36 AM
 
13,312 posts, read 25,542,533 times
Reputation: 20477
Anywhere you want to retire that you can afford!
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