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Old 09-22-2018, 06:23 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,960 posts, read 3,451,255 times
Reputation: 10475

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Out of Jersey! View Post
I seriously considered Arizona, but having always lived in the Northeast I was afraid I wouldn't be suited to a desert lifestyle. (My younger daughter just moved to New Mexico and truly loves it. She'd never even visited before she took the plunge, but at 24, her mistakes would probably be less "costly" to her in terms of time misspent than even a couple of years would be at my age. lol)



I'm so glad to hear that you're loving it! AND that your piggy bank is getting chubbier since your move. Just eliminating my HOA would save me tens of thousands over the course of 10 or 20 years or more. So many communities here have HOAs now. They're so costly and restrictive, and being a bit of a rebel, it just irks me to have to ask permission to plant a little tree in my backyard or to get my roof repaired.



AZ is a big change from MN. Did you need a period of time to adjust, or did you take to it right away?
It was right away for me. When I visited, to see if I would like it, the first thing I noticed was that I could breathe. My allergies had gotten so bad in Minnesota and I had trouble breathing because of them.

Then, I noticed my neck didn't hurt from my pal arthritis. The sun helped settle it down.

Then, there were NO mosquitoes! Didn't see a single one.

The clincher was the lower cost of living. Everything is cheaper here than in Minnesota. And the sunsets are normally gorgeous.

It did take awhile to adjust to the altitude but, just the fact that I could breathe better was worth it.
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Old 09-22-2018, 10:49 PM
 
Location: Florida Baby!
5,179 posts, read 668,775 times
Reputation: 3122
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aqua Blue View Post
Everywhere I have lived as a single person has been that place. I don't think it is the place, I think it is a state of mind. I regularly go to events, movies, travel etc by myself and feel accepted (actually I don't really care whether I am accepted or not)

I have found as I have gotten older more acceptance, probably because there are many more widowers and widows in this group. (I'm 63 by the way, single for 20 years and basically single tho married for 19 years before that)
Quote:
Originally Posted by PAhippo View Post
Baby steps-doesn't happen over night.

go to a movie (matinees are cheaper and you don't have to drive at night)
gallery/museum where you can wander around and look at the displays. Ditto local fairs, carnivals, craft shows.
fast food place. I know, not the healthiest but occasionally won't hurt and there will be a lot of people eating alone there. You can dawdle if you like and feel comfortable, then move on to a better place.
I started to do this in the 1970s while in my 20s--the dating thing never seemed to pan out and I got tired of of staying home--and I began with going to the movies. This was monumental for me as I was/am extremely shy and it felt extremely awkward.

One time I was coming out of a movie theater and a co-worker who was with her husband was also there. She asked me who I was with, and when she realized I was alone she exclaimed, "Oh, Daisy!" and gave me a pitiful look. Oh how times have changed since then!

I just got back from my 4th solo trip to Pinellas County, FL to look for an apartment as I will be relocating there. I went out for meals every day (mostly breakfast/dinner) and just asked to be seated at the smallest table possible (I feel more comfortable that way) or I just eat at the bar. I can busy myself by looking at my cell phone like everyone else does these days so it really isn't so weird. Before cell phones I would bring something to read, or if near a window or seated outside I would people watch. Being out alone has become so second nature to me it's become a non-issue.

Pick a place you think you'd like to live and do the things you like to do--you can make social connections through your interests. Explore meet-up groups in the area, do volunteer work for a cause you care about or if you are so inclined, joint a church community or senior center. I would agree that you would probably have better success in a metropolitan area or college town rather than suburbia or a small town. If you are perceived by others as an "odd duck" or are judged solely by your marital status, that's NOT your problem.
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Old 09-23-2018, 03:04 AM
 
71,457 posts, read 71,629,249 times
Reputation: 49006
my buddy got dumped as district manager for a large pharmaceutical company when they were taken over .

he spent years waiting for that elusive job that paid an equal salary . in the mean time he spent down so much money from his 401k and savings that i said to him why did you not buy a business with the money instead ? i had other friends that bought a wise potato chip route when that happened and did great .

his answer ? i never thought about it .
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