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Old 04-18-2016, 07:29 AM
 
197 posts, read 171,160 times
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I want to start a church called the "Church Of The Divine Misanthrope" mainly for tax purposes. An empty chapel would be a perfect chapel.
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Old 04-18-2016, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,579 posts, read 17,567,761 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eok View Post
Actually I think the standard definition of a hermit includes various motivations. Some are motivated by a desire not to talk to people. Some are motivated by a desire to be closer to nature. Some are motivated by phobias, making them not want to be in crowds or not want to be seen. Some are motivated by a desire to live cheap off the land so they don't need a job or a boss. Some hermits welcome visitors, and others shun them. Some may want to work on their art or project without being interrupted. Some may have overly sensitive ears, that feel pain when they hear children playing and using their outdoor voices. Some may be paranoid schizophrenics, and always feel threatened by the presence of neighbors, who might be spies or aliens. Some might love animals so much that they want to always have them around and make friends with them, and can't do that when there are too many people around, because the people scare the animals away. And some might just like to let their yards grow wild and not mow them, because they like the wild look better, but the city was imposing fines for failure to maintain their lawns, so they moved away from the city. But I think the one thing common to all hermits, which is a key part of the definition, is that they live alone, either single or divorced, and don't consider other people to be a significant aspect of their lives.
I wouldn't consider a paranoid schizophrenic, someone who refuses to maintain a lawn where there is a reasonable expectation of it being maintained, or someone who has some abnormal phobia about being around others a "healthy hermit." These people appear to mentally ill and could use help.
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Old 04-18-2016, 10:11 AM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 3,170,983 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
I wouldn't consider a paranoid schizophrenic, someone who refuses to maintain a lawn where there is a reasonable expectation of it being maintained, or someone who has some abnormal phobia about being around others a "healthy hermit." These people appear to mentally ill and could use help.
The key issues are whether they're happy being hermits, and whether being hermits solves their problems. From their point of view, letting a lawn grow wild might seem saner than being violent against that lawn, cutting it with deadly blades. A paranoid schizophrenic might be a lot happier being a hermit than being locked up in an insane asylum or being forced to take drugs they might be paranoid against.

Besides, once people start judging hermits by whether they're abnormal, it won't be long till all hermits are judged to be abnormal. Would you want the boy in "My Side of the Mountain" to be locked up for being abnormal?
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Old 04-18-2016, 10:38 AM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,433 posts, read 1,668,181 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eok View Post
The key issues are whether they're happy being hermits, and whether being hermits solves their problems. From their point of view, letting a lawn grow wild might seem saner than being violent against that lawn, cutting it with deadly blades. A paranoid schizophrenic might be a lot happier being a hermit than being locked up in an insane asylum or being forced to take drugs they might be paranoid against.

Besides, once people start judging hermits by whether they're abnormal, it won't be long till all hermits are judged to be abnormal. Would you want the boy in "My Side of the Mountain" to be locked up for being abnormal?
If you have ever lived near someone who is on and off their meds and acting erratically (Jekyll and Hyde behavior), I don't think you would use the bolded as an argument. Whether or not they are happier, which is questionable to me, living near anyone else won't work. Their behavior will invariably result in the poice being called if they are not living in an isolated location.

I lived next door to a paranoid schizophrenic for over ten years. On meds he was a sweet person, off meds he was a tortured soul and happy is not a word I would have used to describe him.

Last edited by jean_ji; 04-18-2016 at 10:51 AM..
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Old 04-18-2016, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
10,461 posts, read 5,928,514 times
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I have a question for you self-proclaimed hermits. Someone once suggested it would be a really nice thing to do to offer to join a senior who is sitting alone at a fast food place. The idea was this person is probably alone and very lonely and it just sounded like a nice thing to do. Well today I found myself in that position and I chickened out. There was a very sweet looking old lady sitting alone and I was tempted to join but I just felt it would be an intrusion. Thoughts?
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Old 04-18-2016, 02:33 PM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 3,170,983 times
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Originally Posted by DaveinMtAiry View Post
I have a question for you self-proclaimed hermits. Someone once suggested it would be a really nice thing to do to offer to join a senior who is sitting alone at a fast food place. The idea was this person is probably alone and very lonely and it just sounded like a nice thing to do. Well today I found myself in that position and I chickened out. There was a very sweet looking old lady sitting alone and I was tempted to join but I just felt it would be an intrusion. Thoughts?
To know if she wants to be alone, you have to know what she's thinking. Is she thinking about something that she doesn't want her thinking to be interrupted? You almost have to read her mind. Try staring into her eyes, putting your hand on her forehead, and see if you can get a hint of what she's thinking. You might get a clue if she's thinking the wrong thoughts she might slap you or something.
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Old 04-18-2016, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
10,461 posts, read 5,928,514 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eok View Post
To know if she wants to be alone, you have to know what she's thinking. Is she thinking about something that she doesn't want her thinking to be interrupted? You almost have to read her mind. Try staring into her eyes, putting your hand on her forehead, and see if you can get a hint of what she's thinking. You might get a clue if she's thinking the wrong thoughts she might slap you or something.
LOL. She did notice me looking at her and maybe I made her uncomrtable. I mean my idea is kind of a weird thing to do.
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Old 04-18-2016, 02:56 PM
Status: "Support the Mining Law of 1872" (set 9 days ago)
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,580 posts, read 10,923,342 times
Reputation: 19205
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveinMtAiry View Post
I have a question for you self-proclaimed hermits. Someone once suggested it would be a really nice thing to do to offer to join a senior who is sitting alone at a fast food place. The idea was this person is probably alone and very lonely and it just sounded like a nice thing to do. Well today I found myself in that position and I chickened out. There was a very sweet looking old lady sitting alone and I was tempted to join but I just felt it would be an intrusion. Thoughts?
There's a local restaurant where the customer places his order at the counter and a staff member brings it to the table. It's not a fast food restaurant so all meals are prepared to order. They have excellent food.

I went there for a late lunch one day and was sitting at a table reading while waiting for my order. An older man, almost certainly a tourist, walked over and asked if he might sit down to keep other tables clear. I told him that there were plenty of free tables. He kept telling me that he would like to sit with me. I stood up and told him in a loud voice that could be heard in the entire restaurant to get away from me. He walked away to the counter to place his order; the owner walked over to him and told him to leave.

Leave people alone. No one wants your company.
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Old 04-18-2016, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Eastern Washington
14,242 posts, read 44,911,592 times
Reputation: 12823
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
I was a full time RVer for my first two years of retirement. Due to family issues my wife was only with me about half of that time. There were many days when my only conversations were with the cat.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
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Old 04-18-2016, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,737,509 times
Reputation: 32304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
There's a local restaurant where the customer places his order at the counter and a staff member brings it to the table. It's not a fast food restaurant so all meals are prepared to order. They have excellent food.

I went there for a late lunch one day and was sitting at a table reading while waiting for my order. An older man, almost certainly a tourist, walked over and asked if he might sit down to keep other tables clear. I told him that there were plenty of free tables. He kept telling me that he would like to sit with me. I stood up and told him in a loud voice that could be heard in the entire restaurant to get away from me. He walked away to the counter to place his order; the owner walked over to him and told him to leave.

Leave people alone. No one wants your company.
Well, I don't know about "no one" but I wouldn't feel comfortable either if a total stranger wanted to sit at my table at a restaurant. Indeed it's assuming a lot to think that if someone is sitting alone that the person would like a "remedy" for the situation. If someone sees me sitting alone at a restaurant (a frequent occurrence) they would have no way to know that I have lots of face-to-face interaction with other people most days of the week and I'm not seeking more. Saturday afternoon I took a female cousin of mine to a concert at Disney Hall; at other times I attend concerts there alone. It varies and I'm fine with that variation.

This thread has proven that the amount of interaction we wish for is quite variable. I confess I do not underrstand if the preferred amount is zero but my understanding is not the be-all and end-all for other people's behavior.
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