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Old 04-14-2016, 10:05 PM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,761 posts, read 7,689,871 times
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We've all read stories or known people that turned into hermits later in life. I have an uncle who was an electrical engineer for GM for years. He worked on the Apollo program and helped develop the onboard computers for that, or at least that's what I was told. A lot of his work was military as he could never talk about it. He'd had it kind of rough. Had a wife and three kids when he was young, but she was a classic gold digger and dumped him for another guy after she had the kids. So he got stuck with the check.

He was the classic quiet egg head nurd type guy. Never remarried. Then when he retired, he moved to the north woods of Wis. We didn't hear too much from him after that. Getting close to that retirement age myself now, I'm getting less tolerant of people, our materialistic society and its screwed up lifestyles. Withdrawing from society has a lot more appeal than it used to. Becoming a hermit is more understandable. Anyone else considered this or done it?
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Old 04-14-2016, 10:26 PM
Status: "Support the Mining Law of 1872" (set 5 days ago)
 
Location: Cody, WY
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I'm sure that there are many who would consider me to be a hermit. I don't try to avoid people, but neither do I seek out their company for the sake of company. I love to read, spend time with my pets, and engage in other activities that don't require others. My wife died over ten years ago. We had a wonderful marriage but neither of us ever wished to have children. We lived in our private world. I'm now alone in that world. It's very comfortable. I don't miss people.
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Old 04-14-2016, 10:31 PM
 
Location: SoCal
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My husband and I are hermits. The kids are worrying, so they schedule weekly conference and decide to come back and see us more fen. That works fine with us.
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Old 04-14-2016, 10:34 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
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While there are hermits by choice, I believe they represent a very small percentage of people, because evolution required us to be a social species to survive. Cooperatiion, interaction with others in our tribe, and mutual support were necessities for so long that the need for interaction with others became hard-wired and persists even as society has changed so that the lone wolf can survive just fine.

Although I need and value time alone, I would be extremely unhappy as a hermit or even a semi-hermit. But I have noticed that I have a reduced tolerance for extreme rudeness on the part of friends and a few long-time friends have gotten weird in old age and I am not willing to deal with that when it manifests as extreme rudeness.

There was a thread not too long ago where we discussed some aspects of this, but I can't remember the exact thread title - something about retired women becoming shut-ins.

I know there are people who so dislike face-to-face interaction that they seek out markets with self-checkout lines so as to avoid even the minimal pleansantries we usually exchange with cashiers.
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Old 04-14-2016, 10:47 PM
Status: "Support the Mining Law of 1872" (set 5 days ago)
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,570 posts, read 10,909,082 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
.
I know there are people who so dislike face-to-face interaction that they seek out markets with self-checkout lines so as to avoid even the minimal pleansantries we usually exchange with cashiers.
That seems to be a bit extreme. I don't mind chatting with a cashier or other people in retail. However, I've never been to the senior center or similar. I do my banking online by preference, but if I need to visit a bank, it doesn't distress me. There's a difference between enjoying a private life and anthrophobia.
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Old 04-15-2016, 12:26 AM
 
Location: SoCal
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My husband likes self-checkout lines, I don't. Maybe he is more of a hermit than I'm.
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Old 04-15-2016, 02:54 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
That seems to be a bit extreme. I don't mind chatting with a cashier or other people in retail. However, I've never been to the senior center or similar. I do my banking online by preference, but if I need to visit a bank, it doesn't distress me. There's a difference between enjoying a private life and anthrophobia.
Indeed, that is very extreme, which was my point. I was not suggesting that you belong in that category.
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Old 04-15-2016, 02:59 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,723,738 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieHere View Post
My husband likes self-checkout lines, I don't. Maybe he is more of a hermit than I'm.
"Liking" self-checkout lines does not make one a hermit. But seeking them out as a means of avoiding the face-to-face encounter with a cashier is something else entirely. I often use self-checkout at Home Depot because there is usually no wait for it, whereas the cashier positions normally have a line. I don't see the use of self-checkout per se as some sort of litmus test.
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Old 04-15-2016, 04:12 AM
 
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
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I don't use self service checkout as a protest. They take jobs.
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Old 04-15-2016, 04:34 AM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,531,320 times
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My home, my pets and my stuff are the part of life which define MY space. I've always been somewhat of a loner, and my space that I define is my retreat. I see other people but don't seek out deeper relationships than in passing with most. A call with a friend who's a real friend is much prefereable with being in the same room with someone who's only sort of known and I don't know if they'll pass or not. I don't let man people in.

It may be hard for some to understand that not all of us like being the center of attention and having a crowd around them. I'd like one really good friend to spend the day and maybe stay the night. But they have to really be a friend, not someone who's just 'there'.

I like to go places, but they have to be the ones I enjoy going to. I don't want to deal waste my time in the places I've been and was glad to leave.

It doesn't look like I have a busy life, but so long as I can spend it in places and with select people I choose to be with I'm quite happy with it. When I was going to school I didn't get that. When I was working as a programmer I was at the mercy of the users. When I was married there was him. Now, no school, job or husband, I'm very happy to choose what and where I want out of a day.

The mantra that we must succeed and show off and impress everyone is the rule the extraverts of the world understand, but those of us who don't care so much about that are just as okay even if some can't see our personal satisifactions.
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