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Old 04-23-2016, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,094 posts, read 45,594,679 times
Reputation: 61699

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I am not looking, but I find the ads for OurTime pretty off putting. Are we really supposed to believe that all women over 50 are thin, and wrinkle free with shoulder length hair, and all the men look like they're off the cover of GQ?
I know a couple of people who have made happy matches through match.com, so I would trust it more.
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Old 04-23-2016, 01:09 PM
 
5,424 posts, read 3,442,945 times
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gentlearts, I think maybe you're looking at the row or 2 of models at the very top which appear as an advertisement for an additional dating service (on ourtime.com and pof.com) It's misleading. All of the models at the top are very good looking in their 50's & 60's. If you click on one of those good looking at the very top you'll see it's an advertisement for an additional dating service. But those good looking in the top row are just models & not available for dating - they are just a come on.

To be truthful, I'm actually horrified at the photos of so many of the men on pof.com and ourtime.com in their 60's (and late 50's) (there are not usually a lot of men on these sites in their 70's but there are some) I have never seen so many ugly men in one place all at once! And many additionally look mentally deranged, weirdos, hideous, disturbed, frightening, criminal, socially deviant.....in addition to being ugly.

And I do not have unrealistic expectations about physical appearance.

And others are illiterate or barely able to communicate a thought.

It can be depressing. (I realize it can vary a bit from geographic area to geographic area)

I also want to mention that match.com sends some fake profiles & fake photos to individual members of match.com - just to keep some members interested & to give an incentive to keep renewing. Match.com is well-known for doing this. When one answers one of these fake profiles/photos, the person is always unavailable in that they have put their profile on 'hide'. They are a false gimmick. (one can google to see discussions about the false gimmicks match.com uses)

Last edited by matisse12; 04-23-2016 at 02:24 PM..
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Old 04-23-2016, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,094 posts, read 45,594,679 times
Reputation: 61699
I said match.com, but what I meant to say was eharmony. Sorry about that. I wouldn't trust match.com either.
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Old 04-23-2016, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,654 posts, read 3,237,575 times
Reputation: 11907
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I said match.com, but what I meant to say was eharmony. Sorry about that. I wouldn't trust match.com either.

After a friend insistently urged me to give e-harmony a try, I signed up. I paid $250 for this "special" site.

How many men did I hear from??

0

E.H. offers a "reason"...... I'm too old, don't live in right area, don't have same interests.

They are just sucking the blood right out of us who are foolish enough to join.
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Old 04-23-2016, 04:03 PM
 
1,202 posts, read 1,068,987 times
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I got sort of "catfished" on e-harmony, believe it or not. The granddaughter was masquerading as an eligible bachelor. What a mess! I did eventually meet the so-called eligible bachelor, who turned out to be virtually toothless, extremely short, very needy and whiny and wobbly, old enough to be my father - just a nightmare. She'd majorly photoshopped his photos, among other things. No, I didn't get Nev and Max in on it - it was before "Catfish-The TV Show" but that would have been fun.

I don't know how e-harmony or any other site could control catfishing. It's just a chance one takes, I guess. I never pursued it with e-harmony. I'd signed up for one of their free promotional trials, so at least I hadn't invested any money in the experience.

I had success on one site, the name of which eludes me now, and met my SO of several years (he's now deceased, unfortunately, from an uncommon brain disorder which wasn't present then). It was an obscure site recommended to me by a family member. It catered specifically to professionals, such as physicians, lawyers, etc. My family member met a physician on it and so was quite pleased, at least until his true colors emerged! But that could have happened no matter how she met him.

I also posted on a hobby-related site but had no luck. Lots of golddiggers on there. That and foreigners who wanted to play green card games!

This all occurred when I was sixty, so I wasn't a kid, obviously. It can work, but it's definitely caveat emptor. I'm not planning on doing it again . . . I'm burned out from caregiving the SO and just don't want to get involved one more time.
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Old 04-23-2016, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,094 posts, read 45,594,679 times
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Wow, I am sorry that happened. If the time comes, I guess I will just pass on the dating sites.
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Old 04-23-2016, 07:15 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,826 posts, read 18,832,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
Wow, I am sorry that happened. If the time comes, I guess I will just pass on the dating sites.
You don't have to, just use common sense and be careful. I met someone online who was duped into getting a beautiful Russian girl into the US. That's all she wanted--the green card. As soon as she was safe, she started calling the police saying that he was abusing her. They finally got divorced. He was one of the ones I rejected because even though he was smart and had good money, he didn't have much in the way of common sense--paying all the immigration money for her was just one example.

I'm sorry that happened, to movinon. What a horrible thing for someone to do. Impersonate someone and fool them.

I never used eharmony because it was so expensive. I get suspicious of places that charge so much more. Match.com was reasonably priced when I was on it and it worked very well for me.
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Old 04-23-2016, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,004 posts, read 54,508,374 times
Reputation: 66354
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC View Post
After a friend insistently urged me to give e-harmony a try, I signed up. I paid $250 for this "special" site.

How many men did I hear from??

0

E.H. offers a "reason"...... I'm too old, don't live in right area, don't have same interests.

They are just sucking the blood right out of us who are foolish enough to join.
That's how I felt.

I have a younger friend who met her husband on eHarmony. They married and had two kids. She filed for divorce last week. Had a good six-year run, though.
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Old 04-24-2016, 11:42 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,279 posts, read 4,856,239 times
Reputation: 21666
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jumeby View Post
Hell no! Time to throw away the smart phone and trash the computer if the only way a person can meet a mate is through the keyboard. No wonder why our society is dying.

For a 60 year old woman who doesn't go out socially much how else do you meet people these days? I go to the grocery store, occasional clothes shopping, a movie with my granddaughter or out by the pool. I don't go to bars or clubs. Most of the people I meet at the pool are married or too young for me.
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Old 04-24-2016, 11:46 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,279 posts, read 4,856,239 times
Reputation: 21666
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Good observations, and best to you as you continue in your current relationship. It's always nice to hear the success stories.

A woman I know got divorced after 44 years of marriage. Husband dumped her for an OLDER woman he met on Facebook, but she's pretty sure he had been a cheater at other times in their marriage.

She met a man she knew in high school at a memorial service for a mutual friend. His wife died a couple of years ago. It seems to be working well. So, maybe try online dating, but don't rule out funeral homes.

I know two couples who met at bereavement groups!
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