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We are having a tough time planning how to spend our time in the next year....traveling or seeking a new place to settle. We always thought we would love to have a nomadic lifestyle as retirees (international, not RV -- he is a road rage person so driving trips won't work).
But I find when we travel as a couple for long periods of time that I just miss the companionship of other people and get testy with just my husband as a constant companion. I'm not very outgoing or overly confident with people so I am awful at extending myself -- he is fine with just hanging with me alone. I long for a social connection and a network of people who care about me. Kind of lacking right now.
So, I thought the solution may be to find a place to live among other retirees in a 55+ community. We have to move away from Texas because he absolutely hates it here (he loves mountains, uban areas, water -- no we cannot afford the Bay area). But we simply cannot seem to identify a community without devoting the next year to this research. And we still have global wanderlust.
How does one decide what will really makes one happy?
It's tough. We are looking at Tellico Village in Eastern Tennessee as a place to move to and retire later this year. We are from Oklahoma and also lived in Fayetteville, Arkansas for a while and don't really want to go back there again (weather issues). My problem is I love to go explore new places and have trouble putting down roots but my wife wants the 55+ community list of things to do/organized activities.
How does one decide what will really makes one happy?
Good question. It is hard to know beforehand what will work for you. We have retired friends who tried traveling with a trailer and it didn't really work for them and they quit doing that. We moved to another state when we retired without knowing for sure if it was the right thing to do. We called it an "adventure", not a move, with the idea that we might have other adventures and nothing is permanent. We think it likely we will move again in 10 years or so.
I think you have to try whatever you think you want to do but have a plan so that you can back out of it if it does not work out.
The odd thing about retiring is that you no longer have an all-consuming job that pretty much dictates a lot of your choices, so now you have to decide things that you previously never had the luxury of being able to decide. And it is not as easy as you would think. So many choices, for one thing.
From what you said I would think of renting for 6 months or a year in various over 55 communities. The objective would be to finally pick your ideal community but in the years you are renting to do a little traveling. Thus you will have a home base and still get some traveling in. You might be able store your stuff and rent furnished. Rent for a few months then travel with a rental set up in a new community when you return.
Before you start the process I would try and identify one or two states you want to live in. Then what part of the state - near water, in the mountains etc.
I think trying to find a place can take more time than you realize and if you can living in the communities for a while should be a big help.
If you are thinking of looking for a new place to settle and a 55 community, why not do that first?
You might also find new friends in your new community who are interested in traveling with you. You might even find a travel club in your new location.
I think this is a transition time for you and you should view it as such--
Maybe plan (depending on your resources and family responsibilities) to rent in area that you might like and supplement with trips...
Right now people are usually in decent health and have the energy and ability to be self sufficient...that might last until you are in your 80s and it might not...
The issue of medical care is always one of the more important concerns we have when we plan future options...
Are you both on Medicare? Have insurance through past job? ACA plans while you wait for Medicare--
I think that is something that should be analyzed as to its influence as much as location or interests...
If you investigate there are several organizations/businesses who organize trips--either for simply recreation or for other functions--like amplification of serious hobby interests/education, charitable work, sports, genealogy investigation, etc--
Maybe you could find a couple that might interest you that offer more personal connection than simply traveling as a couple...and depending on how it works, there might be local involvement as well...
We have friend who has college friend (now both in late 60s) who travels with her husband and group of long-time friends ... Last year they did a bus tour of the Western parks...this year they are doing Canada--again in very lux bus with nice accommodations...not cheap but they have the money...they have wide network of friends so usually have some they can travel with...but their family is based around Manhatten/NYC as well as many friends--they both still have part-time work in retirement so they would not really consider moving any distance...but their Tri-level house will likely pose problems as they age...
Have other couple who retired at different times--he before she. They lived in Houston for last part of their working lives but she had son w/family in San Diego and he had two daughters w/family in different areas...they hated Houston...had lived in Alaska and Denver and other areas and they preferred more access to outdoors and not such humid climate.
She did lot of work in Washington state for her company...they decided to relocate outside Spokane for retirement--totally had no friends or family any closer than San Diego...
Bought house, moved there--stayed for few months--then bought large RV and make several longer trips driving across country to visit friends and relatives...
He has had some health issues--now they are back in Washington but think she maybe regrets moving so far on what was sort of a whim...
Never make a decision and think that is fixed, immovable, cut-in-stone because it likely isn't.
Never make a decision that will cost you too much money if you need to change it...
From what you said I would think of renting for 6 months or a year in various over 55 communities. The objective would be to finally pick your ideal community but in the years you are renting to do a little traveling. Thus you will have a home base and still get some traveling in. You might be able store your stuff and rent furnished. Rent for a few months then travel with a rental set up in a new community when you return.
Before you start the process I would try and identify one or two states you want to live in. Then what part of the state - near water, in the mountains etc.
I think trying to find a place can take more time than you realize and if you can living in the communities for a while should be a big help.
I agree with this post. Since you expressed an interest in Florence Oregon but did not care for the manufactured homes in the over 55 communities, I'd try to rent something like this home in an over 55 community near Olympia, WA and Puget Sound. There are not many rentals in these types of communities so you have to search for them and you may not have the option of renting for less than 6 months or a year. Also your husband prefers urban and Florence is not very urban so Olympia might be preferrable. Then you could explore Washington and Oregon and perhaps northern California while looking for a place to buy. Being in the over 55 community would give you more opportunities to make friendships.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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I perceive you need to work a few things out, traveling and home search.
Mtns and urban gives you about 10 potential places. That will be easy to downsize to 5 just from research (without going)
1). Go visit the 5, while you 'practice' traveling.
2). Join 2-3 travel clubs, and Stay with local people... They are the best source of info... And will help train you for traveling. They have many good hints / yrs of experience.
3). Set you 'boundaries' with you spouse, you will both be much happier and free.
4). Consider some solo travel. we do lots of that, and often meet at favorite places.
5). Travel while the USD is high and fuel prices are low (including jet fuel)
6). Travel to unpopular places (I am very safely in Brussels tonight), at a free guest home... Holland last 2 weeks for tulips, Portugal for the rest of May (very cheap). Italian Alps last month (my favorite mtn destination... Maybe for retirement healthcare!).
I grew up in Colorado Mtns, and can never go back there.. No water, very crowded, very bitter politics.
You should probably look into Co Springs, Ogden, SantaFe and Taos, Bozeman, Bend,
Since I only domicile in Tax free states.... I would look at Cashmere, WA and Spearfish, SD
All of above are near colleges, locations which I highly value in retirement.
International Airports are also important to me.... Or I would be in WY in a heartbeat. But... Spouse says I will be very lonely in WY....
Go take a trip... Don't let a 'healthy' spouse stop you, or get under your skin... You two can work this little wrinkle out.
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