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I don't mean to be harsh, but I can't help wonder how you took on the stress of having 11 kids and a husband who is kind of abusive (not physically necessarily, but in lying to you about the 401k balance, etc.)
I can't help but wonder if you came from an abusive home environment yourself, as most people who come from nurturing homes would never let things get so out of control in the first place.
This is a very rational reply!
The "grown-ups in the room" type answer in explaining myself is this:
There is a form of Precocious Puberty & reproductive consequences that is prevelant in females with Autism. Said consequences are typically written as "multiple unplanned pregnancies".
I'm not convinced; although I have used almost every form of BC known to man I just seem to have been made to have children. Actually, that is a medical fact; I actually WAS "made for reproduction".
In 1993 I had a physician-confirmed, natural conception of fraternal triplets (very rare) in which I miscarried 1 & retained 2.
The doctor literally was waving his arms around in the air walking out of my room saying "Folks; this is a reportable occurence!"
Sorry for the "TMI", but I was diagnosed as a "hyper-ovulater"...that was my FIRST set of twins; I'm not a "MOM" (mother of multiples); I'm a "MOMM" (mother of multiple multiples).
My youngest child was a post-vasectomy baby (good thing for me; he's the spitting image of my husband!).
I can honestly say I fell in love the second I was told "your pregnant" with each & every one
I had a tubal ligation after that post-vasectomy child (#11); worst thing I ever did. The "perplexing medical issue " I mentioned earlier in this thread turned out to be caused by this.
The "surgery that resolved it" that I mentioned? Yep; reversal of the tubal.
My husband puts on a condom if he sits next to me on the couch...(HA, no, I'm kidding...but he sure does for "anything else"!)
The "grown-ups in the room" type answer in explaining myself is this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi
There is a form of Precocious Puberty & reproductive consequences that is prevelant in females with Autism. Said consequences are typically written as "multiple unplanned pregnancies".
I'm not convinced; although I have used almost every form of BC known to man I just seem to have been made to have children. Actually, that is a medical fact; I actually WAS "made for reproduction".
In 1993 I had a physician-confirmed, natural conception of fraternal triplets (very rare) in which I miscarried 1 & retained 2.
The doctor literally was waving his arms around in the air walking out of my room saying "Folks; this is a reportable occurence!"
Sorry for the "TMI", but I was diagnosed as a "hyper-ovulater"...that was my FIRST set of twins; I'm not a "MOM" (mother of multiples); I'm a "MOMM" (mother of multiple multiples).
My youngest child was a post-vasectomy baby (good thing for me; he's the spitting image of my husband!).
I can honestly say I fell in love the second I was told "your pregnant" with each & every one
I had a tubal ligation after that post-vasectomy child (#11); worst thing I ever did. The "perplexing medical issue " I mentioned earlier in this thread turned out to be caused by this.
The "surgery that resolved it" that I mentioned? Yep; reversal of the tubal.
My husband puts on a condom if he sits next to me on the couch...(HA, no, I'm kidding...but he sure does for "anything else"!)
He says I scare him...
Wow. Thanks for the explanation (not that you owed anyone one).
In your opinion, how does your autism play into this?
Sorry OP, but I don't believe your autism made every form of birth control ineffective. That makes no sense at all. What was the medical condition that could only be cured by reversing our tubal ligation?
Your life is your life. Your choices are your choices. I would offer more advice but something seems off...
"Sorry OP, but I don't believe your autism made every form of birth control ineffective. That makes no sense at all. What was the medical condition that could only be cured by reversing our tubal ligation?
Your life is your life. Your choices are your choices. I would offer more advice but something seems off..."
Sorry OP, but I don't believe your autism made every form of birth control ineffective. That makes no sense at all. What was the medical condition that could only be cured by reversing our tubal ligation?
Your life is your life. Your choices are your choices. I would offer more advice but something seems off...
No, of course my Autism didn't make BC ineffective! (Now that, WOULD be weird!)
Hyper-ovulation made hormonal BC (the pill...all types) difficult because it's designed on the assumption that a woman ovulates once per cycle (28 days).
If you ovulate on: day 10 ...AND
day 14...AND
day 20....
Well, hormonal BC can't compete. And the "Rythm" method...not a chance!
There IS a high incidence of Precocious Puberty with Autistic girls & that has absolutly ZERO to do with Hyper-ovulation.
What both PP & Autism does have everything to do with is :
-Starting your period at age 10.
- Being in a size 34C bra in the 6th grade.
- Being 5'10" & measuring 36"-24"-36" at age 12.
- Not having the sophistication to know that when your 6th grade (male) teacher asks you to stay
late after school EVERY day that it's NOT because you are bad or stupid...
- Playing by yourself in parks, all by yourself because other kids think you are a nerdy bookworm...well,
but your not REALLY by yourself, because you have one friend that always comes out to play with you
& you think he's funny because he has sideburns like daddy does but he says "your pretty" all the time
& wants you to hold his hand.
Autism has alot to do with not seeing wolves in sheep's clothing. It has alot to do with making bad choices when you are young enough for it to REALLY hurt.
Autism (&PP) in a female who happens randomly to be hyper-fertile was just "the perfect storm"; & thank God for it because otherwise I would not know the joy that I have known in being the mother to my kids or now Grandma to their kids!
I'm no victim, unless perhaps a victim of myself, because trust me, NOBODY can f*** me over as good as I can!
I will always be a "Polyanna"; I still think men are just nice to me..I don't see hostility towards me until it's too late & then I don't usually get mad; just hurt.
I've spent my whole life on the outside looking in & thats what I tried to convey in the title of this thread.
I read the threads here about vacations & pensions, grandkids & fur-babies, grouchy old farts that just want a fifth-wheel with NO technology & crazy cat ladies that love their life...And to all of it I think "How cool!"
I already know I'll never be a REAL Grown-Up. I'm a little scared about what's going to happen to me but I know I'm doing what needs to be done by being my much more impaired than I son's caregiver..
Ooops, I'm rambling; I initially just wanted to say..."No, being Autistic does not mean your BC won't work & I'm sorry I have not communicated that well..."
If you're a grandma, at least some of your kids are grown. Might someone else help you with childcare?
I'm sorry you've had all these things to deal with. Perhaps your husband does not think you're capable of handling finances and that's why he keeps things from you?
I do think you need some sort of professional help, legal, medical, psychological; something to give you a better life with some sort of direction. I wish you luck.
Sorry OP, but I don't believe your autism made every form of birth control ineffective. That makes no sense at all. What was the medical condition that could only be cured by reversing our tubal ligation?
Your life is your life. Your choices are your choices. I would offer more advice but something seems off...
I forgot to answer your actual question (typical for me, sorry).
PTLS: Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome. I had been sick for 9 years before I had ever heard of it & at that time I had been a freaking RN for 17 years.
It's not real; yay. Everybody is safe...
Well, ok; it is real.
According to a massive study: Published February, 1991 in the Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology. (you will find it on PubMed).
Titled: Higher hysterectomy risk for sterilized than non-sterilized women: findings from the U.S. Collaborative Review of Sterilization.
I'm not going to spoon-feed it to everybody; every one here is smart enough to plow through it on their own if they want to...
(sorry, I'm getting a little tired!)
The short of it is: As long as the woman is not under 30 ... OR HAS A HISTORY OF FRATERNAL TWINS, the risk of PTLS is low enough to be considered not statistically significant.
Therefore, it does not have to be recognized as an actual diagnosis & it does not have to be written onto the consent form that all women must sign prior to surgery.
It does not have to be included in med school curriculum.
Due to this study, it can be hard for any woman under the age of 30 who has not given birth to 4 or more children to receive a TL because med school interns are taught that if we haven't had at least 4 kids yet we will experience "regret" & "change our minds". (I am NOT saying this happens to everybody but yes, many women have had this experience.)
I will stop being tactful here: Our doctors get taught that we, as women, are not capable of knowing what we want.
I was a 36 yr old mom of multiple multiples. Very atypical. So atypical that I didn't even count.
My horrible symptoms that made me so sick for 10 years started decreasing within 24 hrs of the tubal reversal.
All I have to do now is overcome the critical anemia those 10 years caused. I'm almost there..had my 6th blood transfusion this year on Thursday & it may have brought my hemoglobin up to an 8!
Aaaand...I'm rambling on again; Goodnight & thanks again, everybody!
If it's any help, taxes on low incomes are usually zero or close to zero. (Everyone has to pay Social Security and Medicare tax, but these are withheld at the source so they've already been paid.) So many people who fall behind in filing their taxes owe less than they think.
I don't know about this multiple multiples being rare. Twins run in my family.
I've seen several cases of moms having several sets of twins. Moms with 17, 22, 15, 13 births. Maybe because this all happened to Mexican women in the early 1900s, it didn't " count" in whatever study cited.
I don't think they would think of themselves as hyper ovulators. As my mom said, you just didn't say No if the hubby wanted some nooky.
People just aren't as accepting of large families as they used to be, so we think it's weird.
I know I did when one of the Orlando shooting victims turned out to be a mother of 11!
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