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Quite a rollercoaster to arrive to this moment. Home decisions are tough, but if you have have been through has strengthened your relationship and resolve, time will heal the house woes.
"I would think that even though the investments are from work, you could still be listed as a joint owner. Look into it."
These two things are SO important.
It doesn't 'quite' work that way. Business owners aren't just 'listed.' They have equity. She may be an owner (equity holder) already, and if she isn't, then I'm sure she'd get some equity awarded to her by a judge in a divorce settlement.
Owner is a unique position. It's what you're awarded when you purchase the majority of shares in a business. Its more like majority shareholder.
So glad to hear that sometimes things actually do work out - and after all it was your husband who came around to your way of thinking. So he realized he was being unreasonable - wonder what happened to change his mind, your leaving for that 2 months - and make overtures to you. That was great.
I hope by now you will be able to say you have found something you both like and want - and can manage to buy. It's a tight market out there, but persevere. It'll happen.
I see i haven't updated this thread at all this year.
I predicted at the beginning of this thread that DH would refuse to go to counseling with me. I was wrong. He initiated it and picked the counselor. The sessions were disastrous (the counselor was awful) and just pushed us farther apart. Long story short, I left. Lived for a while in Sedona, which was glorious, than went on to Phoenix. I was away for two months. It was incredible, liberating, intoxicating to be free of restraints. I was just about to file for divorce when DH asked if he could spend Christmas with me. We spent two weeks together in Phoenix, DH saying he had changed his mind about moving to AZ and trying to prove it to me. Then we went back to California, separately.
A couple of weeks into the new year DH said he wanted to go back to Scottsdale to buy a house. He had come around to the idea and he was getting tired of working. So we went. We made an offer on a great place but unfortunately were outbid. We were crushed.
Life intervened in the form of health challenges so it was late May before we returned to try again. Found a magnificent place, seemed perfect, we made an offer and it was accepted. Then the deed restrictions arrived from the title company and it became apparent that our agent had lied to us about several key features in order to get us to make the offer. Another defeat.
It seems nothing comes easily or quickly. We may have to have a home built to our specifications. Or live farther out from town than we thought.
P.S. NewbieHere, I still like the desert!
I didn't see this when first or was first posted, fluffy, but I would have suggested about exactly what happened.
I would have suggested you go to az for the winter and leave him behind to sulk. Since you have your own business and apparently at least some finances to cover it, then do it.
He's either cone to see "how it is", or you might eventually split.
Glad yo see it worked out in your favor, and that the two of you are working things out.
My OH and I went through a rough patch about 1.5 years ago, me telling my OH "you just don't get it ".
Finally, including a mental meltdown on my OH s part, my OH finally got it. ( over different stuff than yours).
Some times rough patches can strengthen bonds.
Only time will tell. In your case it's telling right now.
Wow, I just read through this entire thread & was very happy to see things are working out.
As for the people who don't like AZ, especially the one who was here for a conference, prior to my visiting, I also had visions of dying of heat. I never even had it On a list.
Then I visited, fell in love with the state & here I am. I still love it but haven't explored a lot yet. I'm looking forward to doing that.
There's really a lot to see & do here. I never imagined that. And that scary heat part? Yup, for a few hours a day it gets really hot. In June. And September. July & August are monsoons & it cools down. I'm looking forward to seeing & experiencing them. I only saw one when I visited & I was impressed.
I am in a higher altitude so it is not as hot as some places. I am so glad I moved here.
Good luck to you fluffy. I hope you find your home soon.
I should add that the cost of living is much lower than Minnesota, where I am from. I have no problems with just living on social security & a small monthly stipend from my investments.
I see i haven't updated this thread at all this year.
I predicted at the beginning of this thread that DH would refuse to go to counseling with me. I was wrong. He initiated it and picked the counselor. The sessions were disastrous (the counselor was awful) and just pushed us farther apart. Long story short, I left. Lived for a while in Sedona, which was glorious, than went on to Phoenix. I was away for two months. It was incredible, liberating, intoxicating to be free of restraints. I was just about to file for divorce when DH asked if he could spend Christmas with me. We spent two weeks together in Phoenix, DH saying he had changed his mind about moving to AZ and trying to prove it to me. Then we went back to California, separately.
A couple of weeks into the new year DH said he wanted to go back to Scottsdale to buy a house. He had come around to the idea and he was getting tired of working. So we went. We made an offer on a great place but unfortunately were outbid. We were crushed.
Life intervened in the form of health challenges so it was late May before we returned to try again. Found a magnificent place, seemed perfect, we made an offer and it was accepted. Then the deed restrictions arrived from the title company and it became apparent that our agent had lied to us about several key features in order to get us to make the offer. Another defeat.
It seems nothing comes easily or quickly. We may have to have a home built to our specifications. Or live farther out from town than we thought.
P.S. NewbieHere, I still like the desert!
I’m so glad your husband changed his mind but sorry to hear you had difficulties with finding a house. Will keep my fingers crossed. We are in the foothills of south mountain and love it. Yes the heat is a challenge, but so were the winters in Ohio and the humidity in the summers. I am loving the landscape and plants in Arizona too.
I’m so glad your husband changed his mind but sorry to hear you had difficulties with finding a house. Will keep my fingers crossed. We are in the foothills of south mountain and love it. Yes the heat is a challenge, but so were the winters in Ohio and the humidity in the summers. I am loving the landscape and plants in Arizona too.
Ah, South Mountain. I am not (yet) familiar with that area but it looks wonderful from the pictures.
I'll be back in a few weeks, solo, to continue the hunt. I'm hoping the heat will keep the less hardy California would-be expats at home so I can find us a wonderful house without being outbid this time.
So glad your hubby saw the light and realized that retirement WITH his wife is better, no matter where it is. You'll find the right home soon, or you'll build one, but everything sounds like it's on it's way to working out.
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