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Ugh. What a predicament. How loud did you yell? Was the language unladylike? Did you stalk off into your apartment and slam the door. Or was it just minor, letting them know they are rude not to invite everyone. They really ARE rude to hold such a gathering in the common area and keep out some residents who may have wanted to attend. (you)
I think I would apologize to the head lady only and say you had a terrible migraine and was simply "out of your head." Or make up some other awful thing that will excuse your behavior.
Anyway, forget about it. Stuff happens. Getting older ain't always a barrel of laughs.
Personally I don't find it rude to have a potluck among friends. Not everyone gets invited to everything at your home...and this is their home.
OP if you feel strongly about wanting to apologize go knock on the door of the lady you verbally accosted and apologize. I don't think an open apology is necessary, unless you do have an opportunity to address just that group today.
Maybe you should also seek out the social worker and discuss this and see if they have suggestions about how you can become more involved with community activities. I think you may still be adjusting to whatever age or medical situations brought you to live in community housing.
I used to be the social worker at a nursing home/hospital. During orientation I would educate new cna's to some of the many issues that effect anyone who has had to give up their independence and adapt to living among other residents in a supportive facility.
You could be grieving and harboring anger. All normal reactions, but you could use some coping strategies.
The soc. worker could help you so that you don't embarrass yourself with similar outbursts in the future.
I have noticed that many posters have recommended making up a story to explain my outburst.
I do not lie. I do not like liars. I wrote apology notes to the 3 ladies I blew up at that day. I included the fact that I had had a very difficult day and the last thing that set me off was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.
Please don't suggest lying to me as a solution to explaining my behavior. It's not going to happen. I take my lumps when I deserve them.
If you want to beat yourself up over it, fine. Why do you want to punish yourself over something with people you supposedly don't even care for. You can apologize if it makes you feel better but I doubt that will make them more likely to be friendly in the future...places like that are cliquey and it's hard to break in to them so...it's not so much you, as them.
If you want to beat yourself up over it, fine. Why do you want to punish yourself over something with people you supposedly don't even care for. You can apologize if it makes you feel better but I doubt that will make them more likely to be friendly in the future...places like that are cliquey and it's hard to break in to them so...it's not so much you, as them.
First of all, I am not beating myself up. Hooray!! I apologized because that is who I am. I own up for my mistakes, I don't lie about them. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I have a clear head and feel good after I do that.
Personally I don't find it rude to have a potluck among friends. Not everyone gets invited to everything at your home...and this is their home.
OP if you feel strongly about wanting to apologize go knock on the door of the lady you verbally accosted and apologize. I don't think an open apology is necessary, unless you do have an opportunity to address just that group today.
Maybe you should also seek out the social worker and discuss this and see if they have suggestions about how you can become more involved with community activities. I think you may still be adjusting to whatever age or medical situations brought you to live in community housing.
I used to be the social worker at a nursing home/hospital. During orientation I would educate new cna's to some of the many issues that effect anyone who has had to give up their independence and adapt to living among other residents in a supportive facility.
You could be grieving and harboring anger. All normal reactions, but you could use some coping strategies.
The soc. worker could help you so that you don't embarrass yourself with similar outbursts in the future.
I do not live in a nursing home, assisted living, anything like that. There is no social worker here.
I'm going to guess you have not read all of the posts. Perhaps if you had, you might know more about me.
First of all, I am not beating myself up. Hooray!! I apologized because that is who I am. I own up for my mistakes, I don't lie about them. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I have a clear head and feel good after I do that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542
I do not live in a nursing home, assisted living, anything like that. There is no social worker here.
I'm going to guess you have not read all of the posts. Perhaps if you had, you might know more about me.
To me, an apology can be greatly cathartic.
Okay...so you wanted to apologize...and you did...and now you feel better. And you're miffed that people offered you advice on different ways to go about it when you originally seemed confused over how exactly to apologize? ...glad you came around and are now pissed at us instead of those you yelled at...I guess?
Okay...so you wanted to apologize...and you did...and now you feel better. And you're miffed that people offered you advice on different ways to go about it when you originally seemed confused over how exactly to apologize? ...glad you came around and are now pissed at us instead of those you yelled at...I guess?
Where in the world did you get the idea I was miffed??
That's exactly how I feel. If I have to apologize about something I'm not going to concoct some story in an attempt to mitigate my actions. I can be blunt and forthright to a fault, but I'll tell you the truth. I don't care how smart you are, you cannot tell lies and always keep them straight. Life is much easier when you just tell the truth and don't have to worry about getting caught up in a web of lies.
Luckily, in casual social situations where you don't know the people well, no one really cares that much and no one is taking things so seriously. I don't feel the need to tell everyone all the details of my business....is being "vague" lying by not telling the whole truth? Is it even fibbing? Some situations don't require utter and complete candor and in cliquey social situations to leave a bit unsaid can make a big difference.
I keep wondering why it matters to you what these women think? They aren't compatible people for you apparently. You have other friends outside the complex who are compatible. You apologized for whatever it was you said. You can smile and say Hello in the hall, but if they don't do things you like to do, why would you even want to be part of their potlucks?It doesn't seem necessary to me for you to be best friends with them just because you all live in the same complex. And if you do feel you need to be friends with them, and invited to their functions, then go play bingo and watch TV with them. If it were me, I probably wouldn't bother.
I keep wondering why it matters to you what these women think? They aren't compatible people for you apparently. You have other friends outside the complex who are compatible. You apologized for whatever it was you said. You can smile and say Hello in the hall, but if they don't do things you like to do, why would you even want to be part of their potlucks?It doesn't seem necessary to me for you to be best friends with them just because you all live in the same complex. And if you do feel you need to be friends with them, and invited to their functions, then go play bingo and watch TV with them. If it were me, I probably wouldn't bother.
I think an awful lot gets lost with this many posts. As I would expect, everyone has an idea and that is fine. I read them all, take what I need and leave the rest. It's amazing what you can learn from this many people.
I don't really care what those women think of me. As far as my apology goes, I did it more for me than for them. I can live with myself because in my mind, I did the right thing. Whatever they do from now on is up to them. I am not thinking about it. It's not that important to me.
Having a peaceful heart and mind is worth more than gold.
I think this thread has run its course. Well done, everyone.
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