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I say "slinking back" because these departures were full of bravado, as in shaking the dust of this old town off their feet with no intention of ever returning; off to bigger and better things. Finally! And then NOT. Much like my own ambitious proclamations as to what I would do after retirement have been. So I'm left to wonder what went wrong and how I can avoid making the same mistakes when it's my turn.
To clarify: I plan to make a major change (relocation) and major purchase (retirement property), so I definitely feel the pressure to "get it right." If you'll be aging in place with your usual home, location, family, friends, hobbies, etc., the only difference is that you don't go to work any more. Not much can go wrong there? If you're bored, add more hobbies or another job. Many, however, have a "retirement dream" they pursue that is a major life shift, and I sometimes wonder if it turns out as they planned.
If not, why not, and how could that have gone better?
Unfortunately what ever happened to someone else is not a predictor that it will happen to you.
Thus your plans should have some contingencies.
Moving like you indicated, I live on a circle with 50 homes. Don't know each persons story but here are some observations.
About 5% moved from an older section of the same community. Larger home was the reason. Think storage, hobbies and entertaining. I think buying too small is a rather common problem. Try and figure out how you will use each room in the home and how you might change your life style. Having groups of 20 to 30 people is not uncommon. Larger garages seem to be very popular. Especially for storage and work shops.
About 6 to 8% lost their spouce, either just before the move, during the mover or shortly after the move. Think about budgets and ability of the spouce to live in a new area "alone".
A number have homes in other parts of the country. But several that sold their old home are thinking of buying another home in a different climate for part time use.
I would look for larger communities 10,000+ as they should have more activities and a better financial structure. Be sure to look at the location of grocery stores, doctors etc. Can you get their on a golf cart or public transportation if you can not drive?
I would search the forms and note every item on a spreadsheet. Then start to analysis and see which are important for you. You might look at Talk of The Villages - The Villages, Florida. Lots of history here. Remember you are looking for what might be important for you and not the problem being discussed.
Not sure of the major life dream. You might find you changed your mind and found something new. I think you have to assume your life will be different. This could be bad or good for you but for most I think it is a very positive change.
Might add some more info about your self to get better answers.
I have never had a desire to move or live in a place other than where I am right now and have been my entire life. Maybe a more manageable property, but certainly not away from the area. I am very pleased with retirement. Not rich, but interestingly have far more flexibility and left over cash in my budget than I ever did when I worked. I can do something or nothing whenever I choose. Gotta say - don't understand the thinking that "now I'm retired everything must change." A very well-to-do CEO here has said he doesn't think it's wise to retire and move away from everything and everyone you know - without a compelling reason.
I consider myself very fortunate, count my blessings - and adhere pretty much to "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Works for me.
I didn't retire yet. But this is what is going on:
In 2005 I noticed that houses weren't selling as quickly or increasing in value as much and I figured there was going to be a recession. I thought the recession was going to be confined to Florida. My business would have been adversely affected by a recession so I decided to sell the business and the house while things were still doing well. Everyone said I was crazy. My friends called me "Chicken Little". In 2006 I had sold both the house and business and was ready to move. I had researched a lot of areas and decided on the state where I am now. I took many trips here to explore and narrowed down the city, and where in the city I wanted to be. I looked at businesses to buy. I looked at houses to buy that could be converted into a rental property if I didn't like living here. By 2007 I had purchased my house and my store.
Things were going along ok. The store was making nice money. The house was comfortable. I met a man, we fell in love, we got married. But, really, I don't enjoy this city or this state. I am from Orlando and NYC. I am used to good restaurants, a lot of entertainment choices, cities that are open 24-hours a day and even on holidays. I am bored here. I just can't seem to settle in. I haven't found anything that makes me want to stay here, except that this is where my business is and I like our primary care doctor.
At times I think I would like to return to Orlando. That is where my heart is. That is where my late husband and late child are buried. That is where my friends are. I have favorite restaurants there. I have things I like to do there and places I like to go there. What holds me back is the doctors are lousy and there is a lot of crime. There have been a lot of changes since I last lived there. I have changed too. I'm just not 100% sure about going home.
If I do go back it is not because I am "slinking back". My house here has gained in value. My business supported me. I fell in love here. Life here has been successful, if a lot on the boring side. If I go back, it is because Orlando is still the home of my heart. I know that I would never care what someone thinks if I choose to move back to FL.
Maybe we will stay here. Maybe we will decide to try a different state and a different city.... I don't know. Try to look at your move as a fun adventure. Do as people suggest and rent for a year or more. That will give you time to know if you picked the right spot before committing yourself. Examine your expectations to make sure they are reasonable.
Generalized anxiety about any big change - and moving is among the biggest - is pretty normal. Moving is also a lot of work, so naturally, you want to "get it right" so as not to have to move multiple times. But moving a second or even a third time is not the worst that could happen, as that may be what it takes to find a good fit.
It seems to me you are facing two separate issues:
1. The question of the specifics, such as finances, choosing the location, getting the right house, choosing 55+ or regular, finding new activities or finding old activities in a new place, and so on. Lots of people here can offer good suggestions about the specifics, such as renting for a year in a new location.
2. What I will call the psychological issue for lack of a better term. You are fearful of things going wrong, and you are anxious. You are having a little trouble being able to look on an unknown future with optimism, and that's understandable. Some suggestions already made do touch on this second issue, such as the posters who pointed out that things are in your hands.
I say "slinking back" because these departures were full of bravado, as in shaking the dust of this old town off their feet with no intention of ever returning; off to bigger and better things. Finally! And then NOT. Much like my own ambitious proclamations as to what I would do after retirement have been. So I'm left to wonder what went wrong and how I can avoid making the same mistakes when it's my turn.
They went and came back wiser and maybe more humble. They did something which was important to them and maybe it didn't work out or they realized it wasn't so important after all. Take a lesson from them and leave without fanfare if what people think of you is important and you view coming back as failure.
Staying in place or moving away in retirement are two mindsets and sometimes people do both. There is no harm in going and coming back or staying and then leaving. Things change and so do people. There's only harm if unrealistic fear is holding you back from what you want to do. If there is a gut feeling it isn't right, step back and reevaluate. You don't have to retire and immediately leave for other parts.
So the majority of you here didn't make a major change, relocate, sell property, buy property, begin a radically new lifestyle, etc. I worry that I would end up watching TV and eating junk food, LOL. But, in all seriousness, I'm here because of the job, so have always planned on making a major life change at retirement. It's just that dreaming is one thing, and actually deciding is another! Anyone? I've actually known people who shook the dust of this old town off their feet the minute they retired, only to come slinking back months or years later, but I got just the vaguest explanations as to why. I get that it's a process and not a destination but, say you sink your life savings into a property you can't later resell.
That's a pretty permanent choice.
We did. We visited three different states. Visited the last one, Arizona, a few more times. We decided to move there lock, stock and barrel. But after a year we decided to get second property back home in Alaska. The original plan was to buy a condo we could stay in while visiting family. The condo supply was small and nothing was available that would work for us, so we bought a new house. That in turn had us move back to Alaska with the idea of snowbirding to the Arizona house. But then my wife got bored with retirement and is in the process of taking over a contract position with her old employer. So now we will probably sell the Arizona house and just take two or three vacations in the winter for the time being. Her son has in the meantime settled in Tennessee, so we may snowbird down there, which will allow us to spend time with grandchildren all year long. In the end, it all worked out for us. Although we loved our last house, it was way too big for us and the yard was quite large, so we knew it was time to sell it. The house we bought in Arizona was a killer deal that we totally updated. We will take at least $30,000 extra away from the table on that one, and that's over and above what we have in it. Our Alaska house is brand new, so we shouldn't have any major repairs during our lifetime. It's single story, with 36 inch doors, which will allow us to age in place. It's in a gated community, so we can leave it sit while we vacation or snowbird. We got to experience life in the lower 48 and came back home. In the end, there are no regrets.
I have never had a desire to move or live in a place other than where I am right now and have been my entire life. Maybe a more manageable property, but certainly not away from the area. I am very pleased with retirement. Not rich, but interestingly have far more flexibility and left over cash in my budget than I ever did when I worked. I can do something or nothing whenever I choose. Gotta say - don't understand the thinking that "now I'm retired everything must change." A very well-to-do CEO here has said he doesn't think it's wise to retire and move away from everything and everyone you know - without a compelling reason.
I consider myself very fortunate, count my blessings - and adhere pretty much to "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Works for me.
I am like you in many ways, and I think it's hard for people like you and me to give advice to people like the OP, who has decided she wants to move. (I am assuming "she", although I'm not sure why). But your post brought the following thought to mind: OP, are you conflicted in your own mind about whether you really want to move? If you are unsure about whether moving is the best thing to do, that would explain a lot about your uncertainties and anxiety.
Like Ariadne22 in her life-time location, I always knew to a certainty that I wanted to stay in Southern California, where I had lived for a long time. (Lived in St. Louis until age 14, then attended high school in Los Angeles, then went to college in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, then lived a year in Europe, then came back to Los Angeles for graduate school at UCLA, and I've been here ever since.)
About three and a half years before my projected retirement date, I was evicted from my apartment. No misbehavior, no failure to pay rent - instead the place (five units) was being sold and had entered escrow, and a condition of escrow was that the new owner would move into my (vacant) unit. The units were different, and he wanted mine. As I looked for other rentals, not wanting the hassle of ownership having been there, done that, I realized how much under market my rent had been and decided that I would buy instead. So I chose a townhouse with the idea in mind that it would be my retirement place and that I would die here. So I, like Ariadne, was lucky; once retirement came, no decisions were required. And now, 15 years after the purchase of the townhouse, I can confirm that I did the right thing.
So the majority of you here didn't make a major change, relocate, sell property, buy property, begin a radically new lifestyle, etc.
My wife died seven years into retirement but we retired early and had those seven good years. Then I sold my house and moved 1,000 miles and I'm living as I want to.
Only "mistake" was buying land to build a house...I thought I'd be a pioneer. Later decided to buy a 20 year old house plus some small acreage instead. I still have the original land and that's fine (and the house plans).
Moving a great distance means leaving a lot behind and starting over in many respects. It's not as easy as just packing up and going. Selling my house was time consuming...a full-time job because I was better at it than an agent selling thirty houses. A lot of people on this forum have done it, some more than once. I'm not sure how radical my lifestyle is but it is certainly different from what it was.
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