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We'd enjoy more friends & family to visit, but being 2,500 miles from the next large land mass does kinda keep those sorts of visits down to a minimum. Out of several decades of living here, there's only been one relative that called from the airport with a 'come pick me up' request, although we did find out they were going to show up several days before.
If guests aren't any fun, then making up an emergency trip somewhere may be necessary for your friends although that's kinda hard when the visitors are already inside the house. Fortunately your friends seem to have gotten the issue settled with the plan of sending an un-invite letter to the offenders.
DH, his sister and parents were invited to stay with his aunt, who lived in a resort area, for a family reunion. His parents were given the guest room to stay in and dear Auntie had two blow up mattresses on the dining room floor for DH and his sister, "the kids", to sleep on. Since "the kids" were 58 and 61 at the time, DH used hotel points he had to book the two of them into a nearby hotel suite for the week. They thanked Auntie, but said they didn't want to be underfoot (literally) during the visit and would be over bright and early each day. They assured her their stay at the hotel was free with the points and they didn't want her to work so hard with all that company. Auntie was relieved, DH and his sister had a relaxing vacation and a better than expected time.
Auntie had a lovely home in a beautiful area, but not a lot of room for all the grown-ups.
I have some friends who both have large families. They made a good deal on a lot right next to a popular beach and put up a medium-sized vacation home. They really liked being able to go over there and spend weekends at any time of year and for longer periods in the Summer. But after 7 or 8 years, they had to give it up, because everyone in their families, including shirttail relatives they barely knew, started thinking of it as the family vacation home. It got to the point where they had to make reservations to stay in their own place. They were also expected to keep it stocked with bathroom and kitchen supplies and provide food for anyone who dropped-in while they were there.
I understand there were some relatives who were upset about how selfish they were, for taking this place away from the family.
Well, supposedly sweet people who with one face make people welcome, and with their other face complain to others about how they really hate them being there - who knows what they say about you behind your back.
I don't like people like this. I've known some and we're no longer friends, because I got sick of hearing their victim stories, then watch them make those people feel welcome to whatever it was they would later complain about.
And then, I realized they are probably complaining about me for whatever reason - to the other people.
Victim no more. Can't stand them. Give me people with the cojones to be honest and straightforward.
I was living in the San Fernando Valley when my sister -- who treated me with utter contempt -- called and announced she was bringing the family to our hourse so the kids could go to Disneyland.
I said, "No, you're not. First, we are remodeling our house. There's no room. Second, there's 50 miles of heavy freeway traffic between here and Disneyland."
I have never forgotten her response: "But I already told all our friends we were going to Disneyland!"
Well, supposedly sweet people who with one face make people welcome, and with their other face complain to others about how they really hate them being there - who knows what they say about you behind your back.
I don't like people like this. I've known some and we're no longer friends, because I got sick of hearing their victim stories, then watch them make those people feel welcome to whatever it was they would later complain about.
And then, I realized they are probably complaining about me for whatever reason - to the other people.
Victim no more. Can't stand them. Give me people with the cojones to be honest and straightforward.
Yea, I have relatives that go stay with another relative that lives close to the beach.
Then they come home and whine about the food they serve them etc. very ungrateful. Beach relative is very accommodating, so don't understand this. They can always bring their own food or go out to eat.
Well, supposedly sweet people who with one face make people welcome, and with their other face complain to others about how they really hate them being there - who knows what they say about you behind your back.
I don't like people like this. I've known some and we're no longer friends, because I got sick of hearing their victim stories, then watch them make those people feel welcome to whatever it was they would later complain about.
And then, I realized they are probably complaining about me for whatever reason - to the other people.
Victim no more. Can't stand them. Give me people with the cojones to be honest and straightforward.
Meh.....in my case its not that we hate them being there, its that we hate the surprise visit with 30 minutes to 1 hour notice on a day where you may not have taken a shower yet, may not have food in the house and may not have yet washed the sheets in the guest room from the last visitor.
My Aunt and Uncle who show up like this, at least my Aunt were raised the same way we were that you just do not show up like this lol. Its her husband who is the culprit and we all know this, so rather than put her in a bad spot with him, we accommodate.
The reason we accommodate is that my Aunt and my mother her sister are in their mid 80's and every time they see each other may be the last. That's the only reason.
We enjoy them while they are here; so what if we ***** and moan before or after their visit that they caused a bunch of stress to have those few hours of enjoyment. Life is full of ambiguity.
I have a small family so I'm happy to host them when they come. I live a few miles off of I-40 so I get some visitors going cross country. Okay with me. I have a little bit of room -- not a lot -- so small doses are best.
Send out a nice Christmas card to those people saying, "Unfortunately we've had some (illness, house issues, make up something) and will no longer be able to host anyone overnight in our home. If you do happen to come to town next summer, please ring us and we will meet you for dinner."
It's their own fault for not putting theI r foot down. People like their relatives will keep taking advantage. If it ticks them off, who cares!
Instead of lying, just be up front and say no more. I don't get offering advice that encourages you to lie. It's time to put their foot down and say no more.
Another GOOD reason to downsize to a smaller place. Our second bedroom looks like my office and that we have no room for guests. If someone shows up, we don't have room.
If we have guests, the desk rolls out and the Murphy bed comes out of the wall and there is a small but cozy room for guests.
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