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Does anyone that lives near a beach or other popular vacation spot have a lot of family members come stay each year for a free vacation? A couple of our friends have this problem during the summer months and I feel so sorry for them. It's distant family members that apparently just want a free vacation stay. They aren't invited, they just show up and it varies as to when. This year they were sitting in the screen porch when we all came back from Mexico, we make day trips together to get our prescriptions. The 'company which consist of mom, dad and 4 very unruly children' just left, they were at our neighbors for almost 2 weeks. It really disrupts their schedules and causes them a lot more work and money but they are too kind to say anything. Not to mention they downsized so really don't have the room for 6 extra people. They only have 2 small bedrooms now so there are air mattresses blocking the living room for 2 weeks each summer. I suggested they get one of those signs that says, 'Guest and Fish both stink after 3 days'. I think Ann and Dave's nerves are shot this year because it's extremely noisy and chaotic the entire time they are here.
Send out a nice Christmas card to those people saying, "Unfortunately we've had some (illness, house issues, make up something) and will no longer be able to host anyone overnight in our home. If you do happen to come to town next summer, please ring us and we will meet you for dinner."
It's their own fault for not putting theI r foot down. People like their relatives will keep taking advantage. If it ticks them off, who cares!
Does anyone that lives near a beach or other popular vacation spot have a lot of family members come stay each year for a free vacation? A couple of our friends have this problem during the summer months and I feel so sorry for them. It's distant family members that apparently just want a free vacation stay. They aren't invited, they just show up and it varies as to when. This year they were sitting in the screen porch when we all came back from Mexico, we make day trips together to get our prescriptions. The 'company which consist of mom, dad and 4 very unruly children' just left, they were at our neighbors for almost 2 weeks. It really disrupts their schedules and causes them a lot more work and money but they are too kind to say anything. Not to mention they downsized so really don't have the room for 6 extra people. They only have 2 small bedrooms now so there are air mattresses blocking the living room for 2 weeks each summer. I suggested they get one of those signs that says, 'Guest and Fish both stink after 3 days'. I think Ann and Dave's nerves are shot this year because it's extremely noisy and chaotic the entire time they are here.
Does anyone else deal with a situation like this?
Not the same situation but in the same vein. My town holds the oldest 4th of July parade/celebration in the country that draws thousands of people to town for this annual parade which my parent's home was a stone's throw from the parade route. My parents never knew who would show up for the parade that in addition to expecting to get a prime parade viewing spot, these uninvited guests expected parking which was often on my parent's manicured lawn, use of their bathroom, as well as being watered and fed before and after the parade!! With the traffic being crazy getting into town for the parade, some of these uninvited guests would show up at 5:00 am when we were still in bed!! When my parents reached their senior years they had enough of dealing with the 4th of July. By this time I was married and owned my own home in town purposely built far from the parade route, so I would come and get them to stay the night before and the day of the parade at my house. They would leave their car parked at the end of the driveway so nobody else could park there, and put a sign in their door window that said "gone fishing for the day".
Your friends need to speak up and tell these unwanted visitors that they can no longer accommodate them for extended visits. But if your friends can tolerate of few days of visits from these individuals they can offer that as an option.
I once lived in an area that was a prime vacation spot and we had many visitors, but all were invited. We were also younger and could handle visitors more easily. I never would have tolerated someone just showing up, and certainly not for a couple of weeks.
One particular family member, who hadn't come for a visit yet, was furious when we were moving as they had been planning to use us as their hotel for a week. She actually angrily said, "NOW what are we supposed to do?"
Recently when a family group announced they were coming for a week where we live now, I immediately said that was not possible. Three nights is my limit. In some cases, we choose to be "gone" when some folks pass through the area.
Visitors staying in your home is a lot of work. I really look forward to some visits, but I now have no problem being unavailable for the ones I don't care to entertain.
Sending the Christmas card saying they will be unavailable is a good idea. Ward off the issue before it comes up. If they appear at your door, simply say it is not a good time and direct them to a local motel.
WE don't have a home in a vacation area yet, but will have one next year. We've already made it clear to friends and relatives that one week is maximum stay, no pets, and with ample notice (we think we can manage that), that we plan to travel often so its our schedule that counts, and that if they come they should not expect my wife and I to cook for them or take them out to eat every night. Fortunately we do not know anyone so inconsiderate as to show up uninvited.
No one can take advantage of you unless you let them, and friends who try to take advantage of you are not friends at all, so don't let them.
I had a friend who would call me up and ask if they could spend the weekend. Spending the weekend with them involved putting them up, feeding them at restaurants AT MY EXPENSE (and their insistence), and having my work schedule disturbed. After the second time, we miraculously were "unavailable" for the weekends that they wanted to visit.
Family members liked to use us as a hotel. They would stay with us the night before a concert and then leave at the end of the concert. No visiting, not much interaction and the like. And also no RECIPROCITY when we were heading back home. We also put a stop to that.
Uninvited guests ... NEVER. They would not come through the door.
I guess we don't have the types of friends/relatives who would be so rude. We're in a popular tourist town, but it's more for adults than for kids. I'm sure if we were in a beach town or Orlando, etc., it would be different. We actually encourage family to come visit. Hubby is retired, so can make trips back east to visit friends/family. But I still work, so I don't have the kind of free time needed for frequent trips. I love it when they can come to us. I'll admit it's nice to have my small home back to myself when company leaves, but I enjoy having them when they're here.
Fortunately I do not have the problem. To prevent the problem from developing I think you should tell then the names of several hotels that are close by.
Does anyone that lives near a beach or other popular vacation spot have a lot of family members come stay each year for a free vacation? A couple of our friends have this problem during the summer months and I feel so sorry for them. It's distant family members that apparently just want a free vacation stay. They aren't invited, they just show up and it varies as to when. This year they were sitting in the screen porch when we all came back from Mexico, we make day trips together to get our prescriptions. The 'company which consist of mom, dad and 4 very unruly children' just left, they were at our neighbors for almost 2 weeks. It really disrupts their schedules and causes them a lot more work and money but they are too kind to say anything. Not to mention they downsized so really don't have the room for 6 extra people. They only have 2 small bedrooms now so there are air mattresses blocking the living room for 2 weeks each summer. I suggested they get one of those signs that says, 'Guest and Fish both stink after 3 days'. I think Ann and Dave's nerves are shot this year because it's extremely noisy and chaotic the entire time they are here.
Does anyone else deal with a situation like this?
I find this unbelievable. I cannot imagine allowing this to happen....especially for 2 weeks.
Have you and your friends discussed this? Why do they allow such an intrusion?
I think their announcing that there will be no more overnight visits allowed is something that should not wait until Christmas. I would send out postcards asap....And, I would shame those folks that stayed for 2 weeks by saying why. Ludicrous!
Nipping it in the bud (you know, when those unwanted guests "hint") is better than trying to change the situation afterwards. Now that the hosts have caved to unannounced arrivals it is going to be tough to reverse things. They can start by being honest and simply stating, "You cannot stay with us." Do not provide reasons why, because they likely will begin "negotiating." Just say NO, and stick with it. They will move on to an easier target.
If they are not willing to pay for a hotel while visiting, then they don't care that much about seeing YOU, are they? It is just a free vacation.
I absolutely hated it when an inlaw and his wife, whom I knew were coming, brought another person with them, unannounced! Unbelievable. They also dropped in a few hours early, and my husband dropped the bomb about that saying he could not be at home to let them in, not mentioning one word about the third guest whom he apparently knew about. Never again!
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