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OK, enough with the noble act. I am really trying to avoid having them suddenly show up one morning on our front lawn and announce they are moving in with us. A threat I have already heard! This is one of the reasons I am leaning toward purchasing a CCRC unit for our retirement as the relatives would not be allowed to move in with us.
While I realize that how you interact with your relatives is your business, not mine, I just cannot resist commenting on your paragraph above. If I were you, I would grow a pair and make it perfectly clear to your relatives just what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. If any relative of mine showed up prepared to move in with me, I would call the police if they refused to leave!
You are allowing yourself to march to their drummer, something which is totally foreign to me. I much prefer to march to my own.
Only trying to not be the Judas Goat - while also trying to avoid providing them with financial bail-outs post retirement. I know, I know, we shouldn't feel guilty about their decades long lack of foresight but we do.
OK, enough with the noble act. I am really trying to avoid having them suddenly show up one morning on our front lawn and announce they are moving in with us. A threat I have already heard! This is one of the reasons I am leaning toward purchasing a CCRC unit for our retirement as the relatives would not be allowed to move in with us.
The only way they could do that is if you LET them! Me personally, I would move cross country to get away from them.
Only trying to not be the Judas Goat - while also trying to avoid providing them with financial bail-outs post retirement. I know, I know, we shouldn't feel guilty about their decades long lack of foresight but we do.
OK, enough with the noble act. I am really trying to avoid having them suddenly show up one morning on our front lawn and announce they are moving in with us. A threat I have already heard! This is one of the reasons I am leaning toward purchasing a CCRC unit for our retirement as the relatives would not be allowed to move in with us.
Ridiculous. People can't just move in with you, unless you let them.
Im thinking you are trying to make a mountain out of a molehill here.
Must be nice............... My wife will retire in 3 years at age 60 but is already beginning to feel isolated from her friends because she is still working. I plan on retiring in 5 years at age 65. I am delaying until 65 not because we can't afford to retire earlier, but because no one else in the family can afford to retire early. If I retired now or at 62, all our relatives who haven't planned for their future will take it as a sign that they should retire too.
Feeling somewhat forced to lead by example.
This is such an odd statement. How can others, with less money, take you retiring as a sign that they should too, if they haven't the money to do so???
As far as relatives trying to move in with you when they retire...that's the lamest reason I've heard. Seriously, why would they think that's acceptable? Have they asked to move in before? Have they asked for loans before? For some reason you think they are going to abandon their jobs and just up and move in with you. This is just you trying so hard to find an excuse not to retire. If you don't want to retire, don't. But these "reasons" just sound ridiculous. Sorry...
I have 4 siblings. One is 14 years older than I am, one is 13 years older, one is 4 years older and one is 2 years younger. I retired before all of them. The two eldest died before reaching that mark, the other two are not there yet.
I have 4 cousins, ranging from 1 years younger than I am, to 5 years younger. Today after 15 years of being retired NONE of my cousins are retired yet.
I would never allow their status to affect me.
Now when I retired, my mother mildly chewed me out over it. By having 3 children older than I am, she thought is was wrong for me to retire first. That did not stop me.
Submariner, I wonder if she wanted you to all get married in order of birth too? Or to have kids in order? Not a knock on your mom at all. I just thought that her thinking was funny.
I have 4 siblings. One is 14 years older than I am, one is 13 years older, one is 4 years older and one is 2 years younger. I retired before all of them. The two eldest died before reaching that mark, the other two are not there yet.
I have 4 cousins, ranging from 1 years younger than I am, to 5 years younger. Today after 15 years of being retired NONE of my cousins are retired yet.
I would never allow their status to affect me.
Now when I retired, my mother mildly chewed me out over it. By having 3 children older than I am, she thought is was wrong for me to retire first. That did not stop me.
I must have done something terribly wrong in my life. lol Thinking about this yesterday and realized that of 7 kids, I am the ONLY one still working full time and I'm the oldest. I have three siblings that have passed away and two were on disability for a long time prior. There are four of us left. One is fully retired and doing 'okay' for money but his health is not good. One is in prison and the other one I have no idea what he's doing but I know he's not working. He just turned 63 so maybe opted for early SS.
I have one cousin ten years older than me and he's been retired from the railroad for years. The rest are all younger but they are retiring, one by one, and most are still married so it's easier for them. I do have one cousin who is collecting her SS but still working part time and she is planning to transfer her job here, to our hometown, and will be staying with me till she gets on her feet. She owns her home outright, plus some high dollar property, that she'll be selling so she'll do okay. Nobody puts anyone down for being able to retire but, maybe, some of us are a tad 'jealous'.
I must have done something terribly wrong in my life. lol
<SNIP>
Nobody puts anyone down for being able to retire but, maybe, some of us are a tad 'jealous'.
... Indeed we are! I have 3 brothers, all over 60; I'm the oldest, and I'm over 70. The 2nd-oldest brother is just-about to cut-back his work week to 3 days/week. He's been a technician for a printing equipment company, and has traveled all over the Western Hemisphere for them. I'm happy for him, yet a tad jealous that he is able to do that (cut back his hours).
The 3rd-oldest brother is retired, due to a debilitating disease that will be terminal. He figured to get out of the work force before he got so bad that he couldn't travel or communicate any longer. He's doing very well, considering what he's facing, and I've been more than a tad jealous about that.
So here I am ... I'm still working a full-time job, as is my youngest brother. Each of us, while our Family is important to us, would still never consider asking any-other-brother to allow us move in with them.
I guess we're more-fiercely-independent than a lot of folks, I dunno!
Like Momma used to say: "Everyone's different, dear!"
... Indeed we are! I have 3 brothers, all over 60; I'm the oldest, and I'm over 70. The 2nd-oldest brother is just-about to cut-back his work week to 3 days/week. He's been a technician for a printing equipment company, and has traveled all over the Western Hemisphere for them. I'm happy for him, yet a tad jealous that he is able to do that (cut back his hours). The 3rd-oldest brother is retired, due to a debilitating disease that will be terminal. He figured to get out of the work force before he got so bad that he couldn't travel or communicate any longer. He's doing very well, considering what he's facing, and I've been more than a tad jealous about that.
So here I am ... I'm still working a full-time job, as is my youngest brother. Each of us, while our Family is important to us, would still never consider asking any-other-brother to allow us move in with them.
I guess we're more-fiercely-independent than a lot of folks, I dunno!
Like Momma used to say: "Everyone's different, dear!"
Say WHAAAAT??? You're more than a tad jealous that your brother, who will die prematurely of a debilitating disease, got to retire? I can't imagine being jealous of him AT ALL.
That's like an older sister being jealous that the younger sister got married before her, to a serial wife beater.
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A threat I have already heard! This is one of the reasons I am leaning toward purchasing a CCRC unit for our retirement as the relatives would not be allowed to move in with us.
